There is No Escaping Neverland
by musicxnotes3
Summary: Terra Diggs thought she was through with Neverland. She'd given up everything she had to leave, but constantly dreaming of Neverland is keeping her from settling down. With her wedding day fast approaching, Terra spots the shadow and finds herself caught yet again. Held captive by the demon boy Peter Pan, will Terra Diggs ever be free of Neverland for good?
1. Chapter 1 It Happened One Night

**_A/N: Thank you guys for encouraging me to continue! I've been planning this one for a good two days, but if this doesn't gratify you, please let me know and I can change some things. So if anyone's new, this is a sequel to 'Not a Lost Girl', but it's not absolutely necessary that you read the other story, I mean if you don't want to ever be confused I suggest you do, but it's not a must. If you have any questions, I can explain things. Okay, enough ranting. But hello to returning reviewers :D_**

**_Thank you guys, here it is, chapter 1 of There is No Escaping Neverland. _**

It happened one cold January night.

Two years and eight days since leaving Neverland. She counted yesterday.

She could remember every single detail.

Everyone except Slightly was in bed, she didn't let them out past curfew, which was 10. Sometimes she was lenient with the older ones, and let them stay out until 11.

Judging by the very faint clanking coming from down the stairs Slightly was up late experimenting. He often was these days, but as long as he was inside, it didn't bother her too much.

Terra Diggs woke up sweaty and panicked, only recalling the words Peter Pan shouted at her as she was leaving.

_"Mark my words Terra Diggs, I will have you!" _

The thought made her shudder.

Terra was nearly eighteen now, just a few months until her birthday. She had stopped receiving letters from the other boys some times last year. It was tragic, but she understood. Most of their last letters consisted of happy endings, new families, old families reunited. A special few were less happy, but still satisfying.

She pulled her exhausted figure out of her bed, and went to the bathroom to wash her face off, like she would all the other times she would dream of his voice again. She often prayed it would stop.

But it never did.

In fact, most times she'd hear other things he had said.

_"Peter Pan never fails."_

That one had really given her chills. It made her feel like he hadn't really let her go. And somewhere inside of her, she believed that he hadn't, because sometimes out of the corner of her eye, just when she would wake to wash her face, she could swear she'd seen him, his emerald eyes in the darkness, his smirk mocking her. But just when her eyes would focus on him, he'd be gone, like a dream. It was quite possible it was a dream, she was still somewhere between sleep and awake.

_"There is no escaping Neverland."_

That one she would frequently grin proudly at. _I escaped Neverland, Peter Pan. _

She still forgot her voice was missing sometimes, and she'd try to sing, but it'd always be in vain. But she was still quite lucky.

"Terra darling, are you in there?" The familiar voice of Duke Frederick spoke softly. She had spaced out again. She turned her head to him and nodded with the most charming smile she could muster.

There were engaged, after all.

She wasn't quite sure how it'd happened. They'd just ran into each other one day, and she glared at him before even knowing who he was. He seemed to fancy her ever since, so it wasn't exactly a shock when he'd proposed.

Originally she was going to refuse. No matter how nice and special the Duke was, she couldn't find it in herself to love him like he'd wanted her to. He was lovely with her, yes, but she had never truly loved any boy like that, not even Peter Pan.

She was often told by neighbors and villagers that it wasn't like she could do better. And that was quite true. Fortune had favored her, as it would seem. What are the odds of a Duke falling for a voiceless, odd 'inventor'? Not to mention all the boys she was living with. Rumors often spread.

So of course, she ended up saying yes. If not for her, then for the boys who had to work all the time to pay the bills. They worked so that she could invent, claiming that they 'owed' her.

The wedding was to take place shortly after her 18th birthday. The Duke was 32, and he decided it would be best to wait until then, for the sake of both of their reputations.

But somehow, she felt extremely out of place in the current atmosphere. She was laced up in a tight corset and a puffy dress, a deep red. The neckline fell right above her chest, and the sleeves puffed out in a princess kind of way. It was very much uncomfortable. Her hair colors were gone now, and only a plain dark blonde remained. It was longer, and pinned back tightly. She kept her bangs, but she noticed how displeased Frederick looked when they were in her face the way she liked them to be.

Currently, she was surrounded by people of high status, dancing whatever traditional dance this was. She wasn't really paying attention. She was just letting the Duke pull her along.

She was still quite spacey when the dance ended, but she managed to quickly squeeze a bow in a very clumsy manner. It was a few seconds late, and she nearly bashed heads with the Duke.

He laughed heartily. "Are you alright this evening my dear? You seem quite out of it. Perhaps you would like to call it a night?"

She forced a blush, if that was even possible, shrugged, and nodded bashfully. That was another thing with the Duke. They never exchanged real words. He spoke, and she nodded or shook her head. He couldn't sign, and he didn't have the time to learn. Often they'd have translators, or she'd carry a pad of paper with her. It was tedious, really.

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. They hadn't really gotten farther than that, but she appreciated it. She curtsied politely, and they parted. He returned to chatting with other high-end groups of people, and as soon as she was out of the door she was pulling her hair out and rubbing her eyes, hoping to pull off some of the makeup. Her arm wiped across her lips, pink lipstick coloring her skin and trailing down to her wrist.

She glanced up briefly, making sure no one was around to see her very awkward display, and did a double-take.

_Was that a…._

And it was.

She had just seen a shadow fly from the trees and drift into the sky.


	2. Chapter 2 The First Night

**_A/N: Last chapter for the night! So things are a little quick-paced, sorry about that. Tonight was a rough night, I was super busy, but I wanted to start this for you guys. So here you go! Enjoy._**

**_Chapter 2; The First Night_**

Her breath got caught in her throat like a heavy block of coal. She swallowed it back down, and breathed out her nose deeply, trying to compose herself. It seemed to be flying away.

But nevertheless, the shadow was watching her. Spying on her.

But why?

They had a deal. She gave her voice, her greatest treasure, in order to leave. Perhaps it was just reporting back to Pan.

_Pan._

Her breath hitched. Was he coming back for her? Did he and the shadow devise a plan to rip her from her life again?

Without a moment to think, she quickly ran in the direction of her house.

Her dress was long, and it made it harder to breathe. She'd ditched her heels soon after she began to run. They were troublesome anyway. She must've stepped on several rocks, making her feet ache. Her feet ran as fast as they could take her, splashing through puddles and ruining her new red dress. Frederick would not be pleased, but she'd be lucky to see him again. She slowed down as she approached her house, tripping once going up the stairs and falling inside.

As soon as she was inside her house, she quickly slammed the door, and locked all four locks. Questions burned her brain like hot tar. Was he coming back for her? Was the deal a hoax? A new way to play with her? Was he going to take the boys?

_The boys._

She ran about the house, checking all the rooms for the boys. They had only just left two and a half years ago. She passed the kitchen, where Slightly was covered in flour and kneading some kind of dough.

Slightly followed her from the kitchen, sensing her uneasiness and curious to find out the cause.

"Terra? What's wrong? How'd it go?" He asked nervously.

She ignored him and quickly went up the first flight of stairs to check on Curly. When she opened the door, she spotted his small 10 year-old-boyish figure. He was sleeping in his blue bed. He insisted the whole room be painted 'manly' colors.

She rushed past, not even bothering to close the door, but she was pretty sure Slightly did for her.

Next was Jack. He was just down the hall. She creaked the door open and shot her head around frantically. She quickly checked his huge walk in closet that he insisted on having, throwing the doors open. She was relieved to see a half naked boy, picking out clothes for whatever it is he had planned tomorrow. She recalled him telling her of a girl.

He yelled at her, but noticing the look of panic on her face followed her to Nibs' room.

"What's going on?" He whispered hushed to Slightly.

"I have no idea. But I'm worried." Slightly replied anxiously.

They followed her up the second flight of stairs, and when she threw open the door, he was sleeping. She sighed long and relieved. She slowly tiptoes over his bed and pushed his dark brown hair out of his eyes. It had been a while since Nibs had slept so nicely. He was in Neverland in Neverland almost as long as Slightly, but he had more to lose. Nibs had a brother that got left behind, so it was no surprise that he too had nightmares. But right then and there, you really couldn't tell what he had been through. His eyes were shut loosely, his hair tousled about his face. He looked like a little angel. Nibs was 15 now, but if you included all the years he was in Neverland, he'd be 38. It seemed like a short couple decades, but Neverland was like Shakespeare writing. Some of the worst drama went down in a day or two.

Terra closed the door silently, and walked to her room. Slightly and Jack followed her, and waited outside of her door. She was only changing. She couldn't stand that dress and even they could see it. Terra didn't hate dresses, she just hated them when they were overly tight or revealing.

When she emerged from her room, they followed her down to the kitchen, and it reminded her of Neverland, and how they'd follow her there too. As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, Terra began signing to them frantically, her vision blurred with tears.

"Whoa slow down. I-I can't understand what you're saying." Slightly said apprehensively.

She breathed out an angry sigh and took it down a notch.

_I saw the shadow. He was watching me. _

"For how long?"

He continued to ask her questions while she signed, he always did that when he got too excited. It was quite annoying, and just made her miss her voice all that much more.

"But you had a deal. I don't understand."

_Neither do I. But to be safe, tomorrow we start looking of ways to protect ourselves. I'll keep watch tonight. We can do shifts. _

Jack frowned. "I don't think it's a good idea to leave you alone."

_We don't have a choice. If we all stay up it'll be useless._

Jack looked to Slightly for a translation and he obliged.

And it was decided.

Terra had suggested that they all stay in one room, it was easier to keep track that way. So Slightly carried Curly to Nibs' room, and laid him on a sleeping bag. The other boys had soon fallen asleep in different pillows and mattresses they'd laid out, and Terra started a fire in the old stone fireplace.

She pulled up a chair and started keeping watch.

It was going to be a long night.

**_-xxx-_**

The next morning came sooner than expected. There was no shadow. They were safe.

As soon as she saw daylight, she climbed in a sleeping bag and went to sleep. The shadow never came during the day.

When Terra finally woke, it was late in the afternoon. Slightly was in the village selling things, buying ingredients, Jack was in the square, Curly was at his blacksmith apprenticeship.

Nibs was reading some kind of book.

Terra felt hunger eat away at her stomach and went to get food.

The first night was completed.

They were safe for another day.


	3. Chapter 3: Forgetting Neverland

**_A/N: Sorry about the slow update guys, I went to a convention this weekend. I went to ACen, and it was great. Anyway, a few things first:_**

**_First, I realize that Terra and the Duke would be very weird in our day and age, but keep in mind this is the enchanted forest, and it's an entirely different time period. _**

**_Secondly, I know Terra seems a little weak these days, but she's just going through some things, you have not seen the last of angry strong Terra._**

**_And lastly, I love you all. Thank you for your reviews, and here is the update! Thanks guys._**

**_Chapter 3: Forgetting Neverland_**

Terra Diggs tapped her long deep purple nails on the polished mahogany vanity table. She was on the edge of insanity. Her face was cased in makeup, and she thought herself plastic, like a doll for the public, for her _very soon _to be husband. She could very well be a doll these days. Her brain seemed small, always frantic and paranoid about the shadow and the sense of impending doom from Peter Pan. Her voice was gone, her only tools of communication simple nods and hand gestures, which were usually fake pleasantry.

Her entire body ached, even her hair which was currently pulled back into a tight ballerina bun, a Chinese white veil pouring from the simple jewled crown on her head. Her ribs hurt from the strangling corset and her legs from the heavy , laced and poofy skirt. She would've suggested simpler, but she didn't really have a say. The Duke sent her to his seamstresses, and Terra couldn't object.

Marriage was all too fake these days. No real love, only marrying for convience, business or public. But Terra Diggs didn't really want love too badly anyway.

She laid her head in her hands. Everyone was doubting her all the time now, and she had begun to doubt herself. Perhaps marrying the Duke was not a wise decision. But it was safety, wasn't it?

Terra's eyes felt heavier than ever. The makeup made her deep blue irises itch and her eye lashes feel weighed down. It was 7PM, only 30 minutes from the start of her wedding.

She had negotiated that the wedding be at night because she wanted the sleep. Her sleep schedule had adapted to the night watches she always did. She did say that they would take shifts, but she couldn't trust that the boys could handle it. So she stayed up all night, and as usual, as soon as the first bit of daylight broke over the horizon, crashed onto a bed and slept until mid-afternoon. After a week or two, Slightly and Nibs had gotten quite concerned. She recalled the conversation, and their choice of words.

Slightly looked pained, he absolutely detested seeing her in such a manner. The girl who had risked her life to save them, the one who was always so brave, looked tired and broken down. She had escaped the aftermath of Neverland for far too long, and it was catching up to her.

"Listen Terra, we all handle Neverland differently. I bake, Nibs runs, Jack writes songs, and Curly… Bends metal or whatever it is blacksmiths do. I don't know, the point is, we have seen you try to forget, we have seen you try to invent, we have even seen you try to fall in love, but it isn't working for you, and we're worried."

Terra still couldn't believe that they were trying to give her some intervention crap.

Nibs cleared his throat. He looked nervous. "Terra, what exactly did you see that night?"

Terra glared bitingly at him. He thought she was hallucinating?

Slightly caught her glare, and saw the threatening arm coming up, so he quickly calmed her down.

"We're not saying you imagined it.. We're just saying maybe it wasn't the shadow, and you took it hard from all the bad memories."

Her lips curled into a snarl, she was still mad at them for accusing her of such things. She could never imagine that. Could she? Was Neverland really driving her insane? Was all the violence, the bad memories, and the loss finally hitting her hard?

But she had seen violence before. She'd seen a guy lose a finger for not paying money. Perhaps it was the images.

Neverland wasn't an ordinary place. It seemed like a vision of heaven, but was actually a special kind of hell. All of it's inhabitants looked innocent, but could kill someone for no reason. She had barely scraped by with her life.

But still, like she planned, she saved the good images for rainy days and gloomy evenings. She could so clearly recall the blue and green hues, the bright stars and milky ways, the vast blue ocean lit by the white moon that was always full.

A knock on the door pulled her from her fantastical day dream and back to the real world.

"Are you all set, Mistress Diggs?" A meek maid's voice inquired politely from the other side of the door.

She opened her mouth to call 'yeah', but it was replaced by a bitter-sweet smile that was reminding her that her voice was still very much gone, like it had been for two and a half years. So instead, she carefully removed herself from the chair she was sitting in, and stumbled to the door, her five inch heels impairing her walking abilities. She prayed she wouldn't trip walking down the isle.

She sucked in a deep breath, taking a few moments to collect herself, before opening the door and smiling brightly. The short black haired maid led her through the halls and towards the doors of the chapel.

Terra smiled big, genuinely. Sure she did not love Frederick the way she had hoped to, but she could do much worse. And besides, he was rich, he was powerful, and she could have anything she wanted with him. Protection, libraries, kids. And with a husband like him, there was a guarantee her inventions would take off eventually. She could be happy, really happy, so could the boys. This was one of the best things that could happen to her.

And when she heard the familiar crescendo of the canon in D tune, she knew it was her entrance and she felt her stomach tingle. She giggled breathlessly when she saw the enchanted faces of Nibs, Slightly, Curly and Jack. They grinned and she finally met the eyes of her husband. His face took on a special kind of softness, his smile revealing his utmost infatuation. She felt a pang of guilt for not feeling quite the same way he did, but she was marrying him, wasn't she?

When she finally reached the altar, he took her hands and held them in his. The priest began to speak a greeting and the typical words you'd hear in a wedding. The pews were lined with people, and out of the hundreds present, she only recognized the four she loved like family. The four she'd felt like she was with her whole life, but knew she couldn't have been.

She met the Duke's eyes and he stared at her, and began whispering sweet nothings in her ear, despite the ceremony. She liked that about him. She liked that despite his status and social standing he could still forget the world whenever he wanted.

And for the first time in weeks, she was happy. She finally began to let go of Neverland, of the shadow she'd seen. Perhaps he was a hallucination, or maybe he was really gone this time. She was finally believing that she could be happy, that she could leave Neverland behind her.

And how wrong she was.


	4. Chapter 4: Not Going Without a Fight

Happiness is something pursued.

The only person who can give you happiness is you.

She held his hand. He held hers. And she was giving herself the happiness she deserved. He put a ring on her finger, and she put one on his. The cold metal eventually warmed up and the gem reminded her of the good things to come. But a terrible feeling was rising in her gut. A feeling that ate up her insides, made her forget her happiness.

That was when the crash came.

The crash of the carefully constructed stain glass windows shattering to bits and hitting the people around them, the crash of her heart thudding against her chest. Then came the shrieks, the faints, the gasps, and the familiar feeling of a hand on hers.

The Duke said something, but it was blurred by her shock and anguish.

The black figure flew through the window and glanced around, it's eyes bright and striking fear in the hearts of those who knew what he had come for. She had not hallucinated the shadow, and the boys had froze as the realization sunk in.

And then the shadow spoke, making Terra's eyes fill with tears. The voice was all too familiar for her and the boys. It was her voice.

"Time is up, Terra Diggs." It said, emotionless.

The Duke shot her a quizzical look, he was suddenly very afraid of the girl he was supposed to marry. But then again, that's what he got for disregarding her feelings.

Terra struggled with the words she so desperately wanted to say. She shot a glance to the boys before reaching behind her to unsheathe a sword from the guard behind her.

She glared at the shadow, her teeth grinding against each other.

She swung at it, but it quickly swooped back. Her attacks were in vain, that she knew, but she wanted to get the message across that she would not be leaving.

Slightly, Nibs, Jack and Curly jumped from their seats to aid her, but they froze at the recognizable eerie chime of the pipes.

Boys trailed behind him, and judging by their attire they were yet to see the hellish island that cursed it's inhabitants.

Terra and her boys gathered their senses and approached the incoming figures with a threatening kind of confidence, and they were soon joined by guards. The Duke was yet to grasp the situation. But it was no matter, they all were abruptly stopped and frozen within moments, their bodies encased in a green glow.

He approached her, his eyes glued to hers, his lips lifted in a smirk through his breaths to play his cursed instrument. When he was a few feet away, the music stopped. She glared daggers at him through her fear. They could take her to Neverland, but she promised she would never stop fighting, and she _always_ kept her promises.

"What a lovely wedding." He echoed smugly, glancing around the chapel dramatically. He always did love to make an entrance. "It really is too bad it has to be cut short."

Her lip would've quiver sorrowfully, had it not been for the magic keeping her in place.

He strolled around lazily, glancing at people before reaching the boys behind her.

"Well if it isn't the traitors." He said icily.

She wanted to fight him, so lift the sword she was holding and drive it through his heart.

He casually made his way back to her, his brave girl who would fight him to the death.

He shamelessly swept his eyes over her figure, pausing only for a second at the small cleavage. She had grown since Neverland.

He caressed her cheek softly and smirked maliciously. "Well, don't you look dashing? They've got you all dolled up, haven't they?"

She breathed fiercely, her mouth still clenched and her glare as threatening as possible.

"What's wrong, Terra?" He asked condescendingly, before faking realization, "Ah yes, that's right, you still haven't got a voice yet. Well, that and I've got you in a... Hold."

He walked in circles around her, a finger at the corner of his mouth in mock contemplation. "But Terra, if you haven't got a voice, how is it you're getting married, hmm?" He strolled to the Duke, his eyes dropping in a threatening way. "Why Terra, he's a little old for you, isn't he? I don't think he'd be able to keep up with your fire." Frederick's eyes widened in fear, and in a moment his heart was removed from his chest and crushed right before his eyes.

When she heard his body thud as it hit the ground, her eyes amplified in anguish and terror. Her only safety, her only future crushed right before her eyes at the hands of a demon. "Now, that's better." He said, his voice sinister and malevolent.

She didn't realize tears were spilling from her eyes until his chest pressed up against her back and he whispered to her.

"Oh Terra, I think you and I both know he could never meet your standards. Killing him was a favor to you."

He placed a kiss under her ear before stepping back and releasing her from his spell. It was then that she unleashed her rage and swung her sword at him swiftly, successfully slicing a patch of flesh on his arm. She radiated hostility, and there was nothing but amusement in his features. She glanced down at injured piece of flesh, only to find it was gone. She started moving her lips furiously, mouthing words but knowing nothing would come out.

"Oh you'll have to excuse me Terra, it slipped my mind in all the excitement." He said, nodding at the shadow.

She froze with alarm, and he grinned with smug amusement.

"There now, why don't you try again?"

She paused, letting the fact that her voice could be back again sink in. Then she opened her mouth, sucked in a breath, and began to let every word she'd held in slip out in frantic sentences.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'TIME IS UP'?! I GAVE YOU MY VOICE TO GET OUT! I'M NOT GOING BACK!" She spat angrily at the shadow before turning on Pan with a pointed finger. "AND YOU!" She screamed, her finger digging into his chest. "MY FAMILY ARE NOT TRAITORS! THEY'RE SURVIVORS AND IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON THEM I WILL END YOUR VERY, VERY LONG LIFE NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES! AND YOU..." Her voice broke, her eyes filling with more tears and the makeup on her face smearing. "YOU KILLED THE ONE THING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME HAPPY! KILLING HIM WAS NO FAVOR TO ME, IT WAS A FAVOR TO YOU! YOU DON'T THINK HE COULD HAVE KEPT UP WITH MY 'FIRE? WELL LET ME SHOW WHAT MY 'FIRE' IS CAPABLE OF! PREPARE YOURSELF, PETER PAN!" She hollered through the rage, her voice growling and biting.

She was suddenly swinging at him with her sword, but he was dodging all of her attempts to injure him. And at the worst time possible, one of her worst fears came true. Her dress got caught underneath her heel, she she fell forward onto her hands and knees. Peter Pan laughed loud and mockingly.

"I knew you wouldn't like coming back here, Terra. I know you better than anyone. I know that you hate the dressed, the makeup, the people, so why don't you just come back with me? You can keep your voice, I'll let you make friends with the lost boys, it'll be like old times."

"That's what I fear. I'm not going back to that hell hole, Pan." She said bluntly.

His mouth clenched up, his eyes suddenly glaring hard and angry. "Well Terra, you haven't exactly got a choice."

And with one look, _one look, _to the shadow, she was lifted into the air, Peter Pan and his boys trailing behind her.


	5. Chapter 5 He Would Never Lose Her

**_A/N: Hey guys, it's here. FINALLY! So we get some Felix here, but don't fall in love with him just yet. He's got some character developing to do. Anyway, it took me a couple days because my mother was being a crazy hormonal psycho. Anyway, She's back. Darn. So I want to hear your opinions, do you think we should get more Terra and Pan action? Do you think they should be together? I do notice that they are a lot alike, and I have some plans for them, but I'm not sure if I'm going to make them fall deeply in love and what not, so please let me know!_**

_Six Seconds._

Time is a funny thing.

It waits for no one, yet someone is always waiting for it.

It is free, but it is also priceless.

You cannot own it, but you can use it.

You cannot keep it, but you can spend it.

But no matter how you choose to use or spend your time, you must do it with caution.

Use it and spend it wisely, because once it is gone, it is irretrievable.

Terra Diggs took her time for granted all too often, and now that she was losing it for the second time, she felt the weight of her decisions over the two years since she'd returned crushing her, like an ant trying to carry a rock ten times its size. All those afternoons she'd wasted sleeping suddenly seemed terribly valuable. All those innocent game offers she'd rejected for work, of all things, were more precious than diamonds to her now, because now time would be useless. It would be eternal, but irrelevant, taken for granted, but not necessarily wanted. But most of all, time would be completely immobilized by the very fibers of Neverland. But Terra Diggs had wasted enough time already. Terra Diggs would fight to keep her time.

She persisted, still continuing to kick and gauge at the figure holding her several stories above the ground now. "I'm not going with you!" She yelled, distressed. She could care less if she plummeted to the earth below, because being stuck on that god-forsaken hell hole with the demon boy seemed like a fate far worse than death. He swore he'd have her, and it would appear that Peter Pan kept his promises just as she did.

Time was a bigger bastard in Neverland than it was in all the other realms. The only times you could really be sure it still existed, was when a small moment of life, joy or love would come along. You would feel it there, the sense of being and purpose suddenly swinging back into the life Neverland made you believe was meaningless and unwanted. But just when you would start to believe it was going to stay, that the worst was over, it would be gone just as fast as it had come, and then you could be sure that time was still around, and you'd feel cheated, like time only cared to come when you were enjoying it being gone.

_Six Seconds._

That was all it took. Six seconds and the pounding feeling coursed through her tired body, and Neverland air filled her lungs. She pitied the boys behind her who gasped in astonishment at the sight of it. They were still naive, ignorant to the horrors to come.

_Just like I was._

She thought wistfully, because she did miss that first day of Neverland. Some of the boys behind her thanked Pan, asking them to stay forever, if this was really happening. They'd soon find out just how real it was. And just like before, the shadow dropped her on the beach, and others followed. The only one who'd landed on his feet was Pan.

_Typical._

She looked up at the stars, and felt like crying. She really was back. No escaping this time. She looked at herself for reassurance that Neverland truly was a bleak and diasterous place to be. Her tattered and dirtied wedding dress was all the reassurance she needed. She kicked off her heels, wiped the makeup clear of her eyes and let her hair down. A breeze wrapped around her, hugged her thin frame and her hair grazed her neck and the ends rested on her shoulder blades. For a short instant, it felt like coming home, like reunited with an old lover who had missed you, its arms around you convincing you this time you'll be secure, this time it won't leave. As lovely as it sounded, the thought and feeling terrified her. Neverland was not a home, but a prison.

Peter welcomed the new boys indistinctly, pointing them in the direction of the camp, Felix appearing somewhere to lead them. She continued to space, sitting in the cold sand, misplaced clothing and accessories around her. The dampness cooled the ache of her feet, and her arms held her legs in place against her chest. A proud voice pulled her out of her head.

"Welcome back, Terra." He said softly, moving to sit next to her.

Every bone in her body wanted her to jerk away, to move far down the beach away from the demon boy. But her feet stayed in place, her body too tired to move. She didn't know what she was saying until she heard herself say it, a side effect to having her voice gone for so long, she assumed. "I want to go home. Why did you bring me here?" Her voice was low, hoarse and just loud enough for him to hear.

"But Terra, you are home. I brought you back so you could be happy again."

"This isn't home. Home is with Slightly, Nibs, Jack and Curly. Home is Slightly making us apple turnovers for breakfast, home is Jack playing his violin when I've had a bad day, home is where I was happy. Home is anywhere but here."

He paused, his jaw clenching. She preferred those loud, obnoxious traitors over him?

"Neverland can offer you so much more if you would give it a chance. Why can't you give me a chance?" He tried not to growl, after all she'd just gotten back and he wanted her to stay, but he couldn't help himself. He was tired of her refusal.

"You just abducted me from my wedding and killed my goddamn husband, and now you have the audacity to sit here and ask me for a second chance. What about Frederick's chance? He didn't get one, not when you decided to crush his heart." She said it monotonously, like she had been expecting this. He opened his mouth to speak, and by the looks of it, loudly, but she wouldn't give him the chance. "Don't you dare tell me it was a favor. It was NOT a favor. I'm not a child anymore, Pan, and you shouldn't be either. I wanted you to be something other than you are, but today.." She shuddered, her voice cracking. She collected herself, swallowing her tears and giving herself the courage to continue.

"You know what the worst part is? You don't even feel guilty. Not at all. In your eyes, he was just another number, he was useless. Neverland has poisoned you Pan, it has made you think human life is meaningless, but that is not the case. You have no guilt, because you are selfish, and that is the most child-like part of you."

For a moment, he just sat there, his eyes burning holes in the side of her head, but she wouldn't look at him.

"You don't see what I see. Stop trying to convince yourself you are so grown up, Terra. You are just as youthful as the day I brought you here." He said, mock compassion and gentleness in his voice. It almost sounded sincere, but something threw it off.

"That is seriously the only part you got out of that whole speech?" She spat angrily, moving to get up but tripping over her dress and falling forward. She was getting rather sick of this gown.

"It was the most important detail. The rest was just kind of boring and off topic." He said smirking with a shrug.

She scoffed loudly, taking off down the beach.

"Where are you going, Terra?" He called, amused by her sudden motivation.

"Away from you." She called behind her, only to find him in front of her again.

"Oh Terra, you still don't get it. There is no where to hide on this island, it's mine. There is no escape from me."

"We'll just see about that." She said pompously, brushed past him and heading towards the caves.

"Terra." He called to her, and she turned her head to see him motioning with his finger for her to come back. She rolled her eyes, and found no other alternative. If she didn't he'd probably just come to her, and pissed too.

"What?" She barked, she eyes glaring into his.

"You owe me two years worth of kisses." He whispered playfully in her ear.

She shuddered, visibly shaken by the sudden realization. She did owe him kisses.

"I don't owe you anything anymore. You killed my husband, we're even."

"Stop calling him your husband." He growled.

"Well, I was marrying him, wasn't I?" She responded defiantly.

He laughed loudly, mockingly. "Oh Terra, you can't fool me. I know you didn't love him."

She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe so, but I could have. He was going to be my happy ever after."

His face suddenly turned serious, all traces of mock and amusement gone. "No you couldn't have," he started with a sigh, "You just wanted to be happy. And he was rich, he could have supported you, but in the end, Terra, you were just _using him." _

Her eyes widened, and she felt horror fill her heart. She was using him.

Sensing her uneasiness, Pan continued with a smirk, invading her personal space and pressing his lips as close to her ear as he could get without touching it. "And you know what the worst part is, Terra? You didn't even feel guilty."

She was seeing red. How dare he turn her words against her like that. She did feel guilty... Sometimes.

She counted to six, trying to contain herself. Hitting him would do her no favors. When her eyes closed, he took the chance to move in and capture her lips. She froze, her hands on either side of her head. She quickly moved to push him away, but before she could he was gone and she was rubbing her lips in disgust.

"We can play again some other time, Terra, but for now I've got business to attend to." He said low and smug, his eyes glinting with amusement. She stared back at him, shocked and confused. Where was she supposed to go?

"You can go and get reacquainted with the island, I'll find you later." He said smirking, and moving to place a kiss on her forehead. She dodged it, stepping back, fire coming out of her eyes.

"See? I told you that you hadn't changed." And before she could protest, he was gone.

-X-X-X-

She wasn't sure where she was going.

She certainly wasn't going back to where _he _was.

So she wandered.

She was moderately sure she was heading towards the caves, she assumed she'd be safe there. Safety was all she had been wanting, for years now. Because she was so distracted with the bad memories of Neverland, she'd forgotten just how safe she was, and now that she was back, the two were easily compared.

She stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, one she needed greatly. The air smelled of fresh pine, like the Christmas trees Nibs used to cut down, mixed with mud and fresh rain, the kind they used to play in. It reminded her of home, intense nostalgia gripping her heart like heavy weights. She'd only been in Neverland for a couple hours, and already she craved home like it was the very oxygen she breathed. A fresh breeze chilled her uncovered skin. She had begun to resent dresses such as this one even more than before.

Letting out a groan of disapproval, she pulled on her hair and threw her hands in the air before letting them fall to her hips with a clap. She sat on a nearby rock, and began to tear off pieces of her dress.

She started with the puffy sleeves, then moved on to the bottom of her dress, which took a little more effort. Soon enough, she had ripped all around it, and it was now torn and skimmed over the top of her knees. When she was satisfied with the new alterations, she rubbed her feet gingerly. She'd been missing her shoes since the beach, and she'd stepped on a couple rocks and twigs a while back.

She paused, perking her ears up at the sound of rustling, like a small boy tumbling through the bushes. She shot her head to the side, from where the sound seemed to be coming from. She quickly sat up, unconsciously retreating backwards. While she was still a trained fighter, she was not in the mood. A large, dirty hand smacked onto her mouth like duct tape and pulled her backwards. She thrashed, not wanting a repeat of the first time she'd came, when the lost boys grabbed her and carried her to the camp.

"Shut up." The voice hissed irritated. "You'll scare it away."

She categorized the voice as Felix, knowing that only he could speak with that robotic, yet aggravated tone of voice. His voice was deep, controlling. It gave her chills.

Her eyes caught the over-sized boar trotting through the trees, snorting and sniffing out trails. She glanced up at Felix, excitement boiling in her belly for a reason she couldn't quite explain. He put a finger to his lips, staring at her right in the eyes, amusement glinting in his eyes just the same. He turned his head forward, inserting an arrow into his bow and pulling back, aiming and readying for a release. The arrow shot out with a snap, cutting through the air with a whoosh.

When they heard the boar give out a pained groan, they looked at each other excitedly, like two small children who'd just done something very smart and devious. They pushed through the bushes and out to fetch the creature. Terra couldn't help her sudden burst of joy, and she decided to revel in it, seeing as how it was rare and may be gone soon.

"That was brilliant! Mind if I try sometime? Felix how long were you tracking that?" She shot out questions, excitement erupting through her features.

"I suppose we'll just have to see if you still have skill, _chimera." _He answered with a proud smirk, suppressing his embarrassment quite successfully.

"You admit I have skill?" She said, a smirk gracing her features as well. She too suppressed her embarrassment, but not quite as well as he had.

He shrugged and removed the arrow from the beast, beginning to speak with a large exhale, "There are few people who manage to damage me."

She let her smirk grow into a grin, feeling like her and Felix were progressing. She was hoping she may have a real friend, even if he was glued to Pan at the waist. But she had no idea.

She decided to try her luck with him, curiosity winning her over. "If that's true, then how did you manage to get that nasty scar?"

He paused, his eyes meeting hers with a hint of distress. "I wouldn't suppose that's any of your business, _chimera."_

She shrugged. It was worth a try. Felix managed to hoist the boar over his shoulder like it was nothing, and she would've offered to help him had she been going the same way as he was.

As he was walking away, she called to him, wanting to ask him one final question.

"Wait, Felix, I have to ask you something."

He sighed loudly, annoyance dripping from his features. He dropped the beast and made his way back to her. "What?" He asked irately.

"Do you.. Do you know how to get to the caves?" She said, bashfully and with a blush. She hated that she was embarrassed, but he'd called her skilled before and now she was asking him for help.

He smirked and pushed past her to walk ahead.

"Where are you going?" She called, panicked by the thought of being on her own all of a sudden.

"To the caves. Keep up, _chimera. _Pan would be angry if I lost you." But he knew that Pan would never lose her. He was just playing his role. Or so he convinced himself.

But Terra knew Pan wouldn't lose her. He had just got done explaining to her that he always knew where she was, but she disregarded it, seeing as how he was leading her to the caves. Even if he wasn't, she could fight him off.

She jogged after him, her feet still aching.

"I'll keep up." She said, just a little breathlessly.

"Good." He said affirmatively, hints of malice in his speech and body movements. "Cause' we've got a long way to go."


	6. Chapter 6 Neverbirds

_**A/N: Hey fellas! Sorry it took so long, exams and what not. I'll try to be quicker. This chapter is a little lengthy, so that's good. We meet a familiar face tonight, I think you guys are gonna like him, I know I find him utterly adorable. So after this chapter, I want you guys to know that Felix is hiding things from Terra, and he does know more than she thinks, and I feel like she finally got a little glimpse of that in this chapter. Felix is the one Pan confides in all the time, so of course he knows a lot of stuff. But, aside from that, I have a friend who advises me on my plots, she tells me her opinion and I consider it, and try to think of what you guys would want. She told me that Peter Pan and Terra are not likely to be together, and I think she's right, and she wanted me to bring back Luke, but I don't know if I want him back. My original intention was that Peter Pan kind of... Killed him. Or something. I don't know, he was sort of irrelevant. Sorry. It's a hard truth. But I want to know what you guys want. Are you still on Pan's side for now, like me, or do you want a new love interest? I'm open to new things, so if you want the new character to be a love interest, I think it can be arranged. If you children are lucky, you might get another chapter tonight. So for those of you who don't really know much about Peter Pan, in J.M Barrie's original book, there was a Neverbird on the island that was magical and it saved Peter Pan from drowning on Marooner's rock. I added my own little twist to it, and I figured it was legit. Also, Indians... Hmmm... There's some interesting stuff in that story, I got some ideas from other fics. Tiger Lily, for instance, is gonna be really cool. It's a little tragic though... Anyway, rant over. Enjoy!**_

_**Chapter 6: The Neverbirds**_

"Hey Felix," Terra started, knowing he was listening despite his lack of head movement or words of confirmation. "How long have you been in Neverland?"

Felix grimaced. He hated it when they tried to be motherly with him. He sighed long and annoyed. "Oh I don't know." He did know. He had always known.

Terra frowned. He was making this a very unpleasant conversation, and a very uncomfortable trip. Well, more so than it already was. She cleared her throat and persisted, she did not like to accept failure. "Well, it must be a while considering how well you know the island."

He smiled, big and maliciously, like right out of a horror movie, when he turned to face her. "You _are _just like him."

She flinched, but collected herself, more suspicious than offended. "What do you mean?" He tried to continue walking, to shake it off, like he'd said something he shouldn't have, but she caught his arm and glared at him hard in the face. When he didn't answer, she said it again, with a bit more of a sneer.

"_What. Do. You. Mean?" _

He paused, but the horrendous smile found its way back onto his lips. "Like I said, just like him."

Her nostrils quickly flared. She was a lot of things, and sure, she'd done bad stuff before, but she was no Peter Pan. The very idea made rage swell up in her like a inextinguishable flame. She pushed her forearm into his throat and backed him up into a tree, attempting to cut off his air supply, just enough to scare him, not kill him. She wasn't sure who was stronger, but she didn't care. "Tell me what you mean!" she barked at him.

He smirked, big and toothy, and let his eyes drift beyond her head. They focused on the large black mouth of the echo cave before beginning to speak in a mocking tone, "We're here."

She kept her glare, refusing to break eye contact. She wasn't sure how he got his scar, but if someone had once managed to give it to him, why couldn't she? She dismissed the thought, remembering she was in his debt, and released him, quite reluctantly. "I want to know what you mean. True I am in your debt, but you owe me this piece of information."

"I don't _owe _you anything." He said, hints of anger in his voice.

"It involves me. I deserve to know." She bit out.

He scoffed. "You don't deserve anything. How arrogant of you to assume you do, _chimera." _

She eyed the dagger in his belt and smirked, quickly bringing her eyes back up to his before he could see her. "I just think I should get to know what goes on around here, now that I'm staying here."

He sneered, his lip curling in revulsion. "They usually think incompetent things like that. You got lucky the first time you escaped, but you were always going to stay here."

Successfully distracting his mind, she moved like a leopard and took his dagger. She backed him up against the tree again, pressing the dagger dangerously close to his vein. "Alright _Felix_," she breathed heatedly, "You're going to tell me what I don't know, or I'll show you what happens to people who deny me things."

He barked out an obnoxious, mocking laugh, coming to an abrupt stop and glaring at her. "Yep, you _are _like him"

"What do you mean?" She pressed the dagger threateningly hard, nearly breaking skin.

"Nothing." He spat out.

She figured that was a lost question, seeing as how he'd clearly rather die than tell her. She tried her luck with a new burning question. "Last time I was here there were voices in the cave. Who were they?"

He chuckled scornfully. "Maybe you just went a little 'kooky' from all the excitement _chimera." _

She glared and her face sunk into an irate scrunch, her eyebrows hooding her eyes into small slits. She finally managed to break the first layer of skin on his neck. "Tell me before I end your long, pointless life."

He matched her face, his eyes burning holes into hers. "Fine." He bit out wrathfully. "They're called the _Neverbirds_."

Confusion rushed through her features. She caught herself letting go and hastily returned her grip back to its place. "What are they? They sounded human."

He rolled his eyes and sighed, continuing sarcastically. "I guess you could call them the heart of Neverland. They have no real form, unless they want to. They are the only others with magic besides Pan and the Shadow. They used to run the island."

Terra was once again, confused. She stared at him quizzically. "I thought Pan and the Shadow ran the island."

"They do," he said, "but they didn't before. Before it was the _Neverbirds_. They know everything about the inhabitants."

"If they know everything, then why did they force me to tell them my secrets? I thought that was the magic of the cave!" She yelled frustrated. _Was I lied to?_

"I DON'T KNOW." He yelled, equally frustrated. Her eyes widened. She was going to kill a boy for such silly reasons. Realization clouded her brain as she looked into the scared and tired eyes of Felix. Neverland was turning her into a savage, just like it had him. Impulsively, pursed her lips, and dropping the dagger she pulled him in for a hug. For a small instant, she was sure he almost hugged back, but within the next he was shoving her away roughly, and spitting insults at her.

She rolled her eyes, reaching down to collect the small knife. "Thanks for the weapon. And for the directions. And for the information. I owe you a favor." And before she could hear his sarcastic, snide remark she was walking into the mouth of the dark cave to meet the _Neverbirds_.

* * *

Water dripped slowly from all different directions. It made her remember just how thirsty she was. Her corset was still on, making it incredibly difficult to breathe. She glanced around before turning to unlace it, removing her torn puffed up skirt in the process. A small, armless white slip that fell below her knees remained. When she reached the heart of the cave, different tunnels surrounding her, she began to call for the _Neverbirds._

"Hello?" She called nervously.

Instantly she was thrown back into a rocky wall by a figure just a little bit taller than her. She thrashed, but the figure persisted. It wasn't Pan, that she knew of, and if it were Felix, his hands would be much larger. She recalled when one of them had wrapped around her wrist.

"What are you doing here?" The male voice hissed.

She brought her knee up the stranger's stomach, and he jumped back in pain. She reached for her dagger, only to notice it was gone. "Looking for this?" The voice asked, pointing the tip against her throat. _My, how the tables turn_, she though ironically when he started questioning her. "Who are you?" He said angrily.

She tried to struggle, but he pushed the dagger further into her skin. "If you kick me again, I really will hurt you." He said with a hint of uncertainty.

"Who wants to know?" She retorted, she didn't know if she could trust this boy.

"I'm going to ask you again, who are you? And how did you get here?" He said, untrusting just the same.

"I'm Terra Diggs, the shadow dragged me here. _Again." _She snapped.

The boy looked taken aback, his hazel eyes clouding with doubt. "What do you mean 'again'?"

She sighed long and irritated. This boy couldn't possibly be with Pan and be _this _clueless. "Two years ago I managed to make a deal with the shadow and escape, only to be brought back earlier this evening."

The boy still wasn't convinced. This could be a story to lure him out. "How do I know you're not working with Pan? How do I know you _aren't _Pan?"

She rolled her eyes. "I guess you'll just have to trust me and give me a chance then, won't you?" She said sarcastically.

"That sounds like something _he'd _say." He spat, his anger returning and his uncertainty becoming scarce. If this was Pan, he'd have no problem killing him.

"I'm not a boy, _sir. _Want me to prove it? After all, I am in my undergarments." She sneered.

He scowled. "Pan has all kinds of magic. He could probably be a girl if he wanted to."

"If I were Pan, I wouldn't be running from him. If you're acquainted with Neverland, you'd know he doesn't go in the caves. I came in here to find the _Neverbirds, _not you. You found me. Now let me go." She snapped, her struggle returning just in time for him to release her.

"Fine, but I still do not trust you." He said, tucking the dagger in his belt and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Do what you'd like, but I am not in a good mood right now. I've just been compared to the devil twice. And yes, by the devil I mean Pan." She said, eyeing the dagger he was putting away. _There goes my only weapon. _She had lost her sword on the way there, dropping it as soon as they took flight by the shock that overtook her.

A ghost of a smile graced his features, and for a few moments he looked handsome. He couldn't have been older than fifteen, with shaggy brown hair and hazel eyes that had specks of green and gold. He must've been quite the charmer in his village. "My name's Baelfire." He said, putting out his hand to shake hers.

She took it, and responded to his firm grip. "You've got quite the upper body strength, Baelfire. Good fighting techniques too."

"Thank you. My father once taught me." He said, something crossing in his eyes.

"I would love to stay and chat, but I've got business. Do you know where I can find the _Neverbirds?" _She inquired.

"Nope. Sometimes if you walk that way long enough," he said, pointing to a tunnel ahead, "they're by the water."

"There's water in there?" She asked, a little excited.

"Yeah, how else would I have managed to live in here?" He snorted.

"You live here then?" She inquired.

"Yeah, it's safe. He can't get me here, and not many lost boys would dare step foot in here."

She pursed her lips, wanting to ask him, but feeling like he'd say no. She did it anyway. "Then… Would you.. Would you mind if I did too? Only for a little while."

He hesitated. He supposed he could handle her, if she kept her distance. "I guess you could stay, but don't… You know. I'm a little old for you."

She scoffed loudly. "Old? I'm older than you!"

He shook his head grinning. "No way, if I hadn't been taken to Neverland, I'd be 28."

"Whatever. I wouldn't go for a kid like you anyway." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I wouldn't go for a kid like you either." He retorted playfully.

There was a small silence before he started talking again. "You know, it's a long way to the _Neverbirds, _why don't I take you?"

"Nah," she started, her hand tugging on her hair, "I have to do this by myself."

She felt guilty at his disappointment, and offered atonement when she spoke in a light voice, "But if you're so desperate to help me, you could give me some stuff to take care of myself."

He chuckled and began walking away, calling behind him, "Follow me."

She looked around hesitantly before jogging after him.

Perhaps Neverland wouldn't be terribly awful now that she had Baelfire around.

* * *

"This is a belt, it might be a little big, but if we make some new notches you could probably fit into it." He said, handing her a large brown belt.

She frowned. "Yeah, I've seen belts before, Baelfire, don't worry, I know how they work."

He shook his head with a smirk. He often enjoyed her sarcastic retorts, it'd been a while since he'd found himself in the company of a girl. She cleared her throat at his sudden change in attitude towards her. He had gone from angry and untrusting, to carefree and happy. Perhaps he too knew that joy was rare in Neverland, and wanted to monopolize all of it.

"So where'd you get all this stuff anyway?" She inquired, wandering around his small cave area, placing her hand over the markings on the wall.

"Different places. A few of them I fought for, some of them I made, this and that." He said, concentrating on getting some sort of flame going.

"Well what are all these markings? They can't all be yours, unless you know how to draw really well."

He glanced up quickly, before shrugging and continuing with his handiwork. "Oh, well from what I hear, there used to be Indians."

"'Used to'? What happened to them?" She persisted, small twinges of sympathy washing through her.

"How should I know?" He said, slightly frustrated by his failure to start a flame. He could do it any other day after a couple tries.

She sighed before kneeling down to join him, pulling stray pieces of lint from her clothes and sticking them in the wood. With another try, they had a flame going.

"How did you do that?" He questioned, awe and disbelief in his voice.

She shrugged. "Sometimes it helps if you use dry pocket lint, dried moss of cedar bark. It works as tinder to get it going quicker. Why are lighting a fire right now?"

He was a bit impressed by her knowledge, and then he knew she had to be a little like him. "Good to know." He breathed, before continuing at answer her question. "Because while it's true Pan doesn't really go in the cave, the Shadow can, and the Shadow abhors light. That's why I made a trap." He said, holding up a coconut with a wick in it. The coconut shell had carved shapes in it, little stars and constellations of sorts. "One day, when I can, I'm gonna trap the shadow and use it to get out."

"That's smart. I thought the Shadow only feared daylight." She said, getting up to wrap the belt around her.

"It's a shadow, Terra, it fears all light." He said matter-of-factly.

"So what else have you got lying around these caves? What secrets have you given away to stay here?" She questioned, trying not to openly pry.

"I have all sorts of fun in here. I don't really have secrets, so I basically stay free of charge." He said, hints of nervousness here and there.

"Well, would you mind lending me some kind of shirt or coat or _something?_"

He shrugged and handed her a ratty, beat up green sweater that she happily accepted, throwing it on immediately. It was quite big on her, and hit her mid-thigh.

"And these will probably be way too big, but you can have them." He said, handing her a pair of make boots. She slipped them on easily, an inch of toe space for her feet to move around in them.

She stood up, smoothed her dress and met his eyes. "Well, I should be off then. I can't thank you enough, Baelfire."

"Wait, you're coming back aren't you?" He said, anxious and worried for the thin girl.

She smirked at the sudden creases of worry in his features. "Yeah, I'll be back some time tomorrow. I have some stuff to do." She paused, before adding a witty remark, "Besides, you know I can handle myself. You have the bruise on your stomach to prove it."

He grinned and his faith in her was restored, if only to a minimum. Terra had this air to her that made you want to trust her. Baelfire wanted to trust her, even if she could betray him.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" She said, waving and moving to leave his small cave area.

"Terra," He said, and he waited for her to turn and meet his eyes before continuing. "Be safe, okay? Don't let him get to you, I know you want to trust him, I knew someone else who wanted to trust him too, but he will betray you. Don't let him get in your head."

She nodded, a little bit taken-aback by his sudden outburst, before finally exiting his cave, and moving out into the bigger one. It had to be very early morning now, and she still had a long way to go before she could sleep.

Yes, time certainly was a bastard in Neverland.


	7. Chapter 7 Destiny

_**a/n: I'll keep it brief. Sorry for the slow update, exams are eating me alive. This is a great chapter, but a few things first. I know what you're thinking, that I created Terra to match Pan, but the thing is Terra isn't Peter Pan. I didn't plan to make Terra so similar to Pan, but when I thought about it, they were kindred spirits. So tell me what you think about this whole 'destiny' thing. I thought it was cute, but I'm not sure how I'll plot it out yet. She is still kind of on the fence about Pan. She's at that time where she's trying to go from 'he's a murderer and a terrible person', to 'I feel bad for him, maybe I should talk to him a little more, he's a little like me.' I had a thought while writing this. Terra stole and stuff. Pan was a cheater who 'stole' from people and got hsi reputation by doing so. It made me wonder what would have happened if people knew Terra was the one stealing from them. Just something to think about. If you find any other intriguing things, feel free to let me know. I love reading observations and connections and things, i think it's interesting, so really, don't be shy:) **_

_**Kay, here it is.**_

_**Chapter 7; Destiny**_

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. Terra Diggs had always wondered about destiny, if it existed or not. Terra Diggs often thought she was far too smart to believe in destiny, but then she thought that perhaps there was such a thing, because it seemed like only people in denial believed in pure chance and coincidence. She figured the question that should be asked is does the walker choose the path, or does the path choose the walker? Yet since Neverland, Terra Diggs questioned her logics more than ever, her carefully constructed theories seemed so far off. Neverland made Terra want to believe in destiny, so that she would not have to blame herself for her sufferings. It was curious how Neverland could give you confidence, but also cause you to doubt yourself; could force you to face your problems, yet give you reasons and ways to run from them. It always seemed like different forces were at war in Neverland, equally matched sometimes, but other times one force ruled the other out.

The words of the Neverbirds hurled through her brain, bouncing off the walls of her skull and shattering her disbelief, skepticism, logics and theories about destiny like priceless vases in an antique store. The crashes made her flinch. "I don't believe in that crap." She said, her voice low and shaky. She didn't know what she believed. They knew that. The spirits chuckled softly, their faces sharing looks amongst each other. They were wispy looking creatures, their faces changing whenever they wished. She could tell that they were very powerful.

"I fail to understand. Please, explain your logic." The first voice said, earlier identifying himself as Aelius. He was always intrigued by new information.

"My father didn't die because it was his 'destiny'. He died because he didn't take care of himself." She said sarcastically.

"Your father's passing was sorrowful, but I fear you hide in your ignorance. Why don't you come into the light?" The only female voice, Petronia, asked in a soft motherly voice. She was the true mother of Neverland, and Peter Pan often tried to match her empathetic talents.

"Hide in my ignorance? I'm not buying your story, that's not ignorance, that's disbelief." Terra explained, anger rising in her voice. She had gotten there minutes ago, and already they were telling her of her 'destiny'. She felt a pang of guilt for snapping at the female, but quickly shook it off. She didn't have time for tales of destiny and romance. She needed answers and plans to get off the island.

"Story? Our 'story' holds truth, and the only way to find out where to go next is to truly discover where you are now. You promise the inhabitants of Neverland that you are not lost, but you fool for me a lost girl, Terra Diggs." The other male voice, Horatius, answered with a certain kind of cynicism to his voice. He was the blunt one, the impatient and forceful one. They all completed each other, and it was quite fascinating.

She pursed her lips tightly. She had forgotten they knew her mind like the back of their hands, but clearly not as well as they thought they did. Perhaps they were blinded to one spot, and that one spot that they didn't know was the one she wanted them to know the most, the one she wanted everyone to know. Terra Diggs was not a lost girl. She knew where she was, and lost meant depending on people like Peter Pan, but Terra Diggs could count on herself. She glanced up at the spirits, anew found confidence enlightening her features. She was instantly reminded of who she was, the person Neverland made her forget moments earlier. She was not a savage, or a saddened little girl. She was grown now, and like Peter Pan had so courteously once reminded her, she was a tough lass.

"Tell me everything. I want to know my destiny, and I want to know everything of Neverland." She said conclusively, deciding that arguing about destiny would get her nowhere.

The spirits smiled, exchanging glances between one another as if deciding who would speak first and what they would say. They were happy for the girl, and perhaps it would be a little far to say they knew their words would have this outcome. In the end, Petronia was chosen to speak first, her eyes shifting and focusing on the figure in front of her.

"Peter Pan has only been in love once before." She said, noticing the small flinch in the figure's stance. Terra certainly found it hard to grasp that the demo-, Peter Pan, she corrected herself, could have ever loved. He seemed heartless to her, even more so now that she'd seen him kill a man in cold blood. She found missing pieces of her mental puzzle coming together. She was beginning to understand just how things came to be the way they did.

"She was a permanent inhabitant of the island, we were the ones who saved her tribe from destruction and allowed them to stay." She continued, glancing at the others to see if they approved. They nodded at her and she let more of the story tumble out from her memory, where it had stayed for centuries.

"The Indians." Terra said matter-of-factually, noting the key word 'tribe'.

"Yes, the Indians. They came before Peter Pan did, and Peter knew the princess before he became a permanent resident of the island. As you have noticed, Neverland is typically a dreamland, a place for all children to visit in their dreams. Peter Pan, before Neverland, was born with the name Malcolm. He was one of those children. He came night after night, bonding and falling in love with the Indian Princess, Tiger Lily. He came for years and years, and their love grew with the time that they spent. But Neverland is only for children, and eventually, all children grow up. Malcolm vowed to Tiger Lily that he'd find a way back to her, even if it meant his death."

Petronia paused, letting the large amounts of information sink in. Terra was still yet to understand her emotions. She certainly was not jealous, his past was his past. She pitied him, because of the person it made him to be today. Surely it was horrible if it turned him into that kind of monster. But still, she wanted to hear about it anyway, for some reason she felt like it might help her overcome her very confusing feelings for him. Perhaps shed some light on it, but she couldn't face her feelings just yet. She'd wait until after the story.

"Malcolm tried to fight his way back to Neverland, once, twice, several times. But he soon realized he was too old now, and even if he found his way back to his love, she would not love him the same way she did, for who could ever love a 'wrinkled old man'? Malcolm, in his grief, turned to bad resources, all the wrong emotional outlets. That is how he got his awful reputation."

Terra's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What reputation?"

Petronia sighed. She was more ignorant than they'd originally thought. "Malcolm was known as a cheater, a swindler, a robber, a coward and a heartless man. He was not a boy anymore, and he'd lost his parents from the countless attempts to return to the island. He'd abandoned them, and he'd no clue where they were now. He had nobody anymore."

Terra's eyes widened, first with shock, and then with sympathy. They were similar. If people had known Terra was the one robbing them, the one taking their goods, how would they have treated her? Suddenly what Felix said made sense. But then she realized, Felix knew a lot more than he'd let on. Perhaps Felix knew Pan better than she thought, and perhaps he already knew the majority of what the Neverbirds were telling her. The thought both frightened and intrigued her at the same time. She was awakened from her thoughts when Petronia continued with the story.

"Somewhere in his timeline, Malcolm slept with a woman. He was not sure of her name, she was just meant to be one of those 'outlets', but all his actions caught up with him when months later, the woman arrived beside him, very pregnant and distressed."

"Peter Pan… Is a father?" Terra asked incredulously. She felt disgust pool in her gut, still mixed with a small bit of sympathy. The thought of Peter Pan doing such things with anyone made her feel disgusted, it was increasingly hard to imagine, and she didn't bother to. Then she thought of the child; the spawn of Peter Pan. She couldn't tell if the sympathy was for Pan or for his poor kid.

"Yes, he is a father. The woman, unfortunately, perished through her childbirth, leaving Malcolm with her son, Rumplestiltskin. Malcolm was immediately very distraught, he could barely support himself, much less a boy. In the end, he decided to keep the child, despite his selfishness, he did love Rumplestilskin, his only son and family. But still, thoughts of Neverland were always in his mind, especially when he was cheating for his son. His very presence in the world outside of Neverland was damaging for his son, that's how Malcolm perceived it.

So yet again, after constantly being kicked around and degraded for his actions, Malcolm continued his search for a way to return to Neverland. But still, a part of him belonged to his son, and wanted to wait until Rumple could be happy on his own. So he set out to find a real job, sending his son to two of his oldest friends, wool spinners. But Rumple resented being left alone, and Malcolm resented leaving him, since he knew so well of loneliness. So he gave him a doll, one made of straw, and Rumple had chosen to name it Peter Pan."

"That's why he chose that name." Terra concluded, speaking for the first time in a while. Petronia nodded, and resumed her very long tale of Neverland.

"Despite what he said, Malcolm could not find a job. He still dreamt of Neverland, and he drank himself into a stupor yet again. He concluded that he could still be a boy, that he didn't need to have a job or responsibilities. He could be free if only he let himself be."

Terra found shocking parallels to what he'd said to her when she first arrived in Neverland. So many of the things he'd said to her paralleled with his personality, she had so many direct signs of who he was, yet she'd ignored them, and for what? She knew he was a boy. She knew he was immature. But she didn't know he had such a direct experience with 'grownup things'. She assumed he was just trying to convince her to stay. She scorned herself for all the times she'd so ignorantly told him that she too resented work, the world. She was like Peter Pan.

"Then why do you insist on taking up his work? I don't understand why you trouble yourself with such grown up things."

"You were abandoned, not properly cared for, tossed about from one place to another, and that hurts my heart. I want to help you, but I can't if you won't allow me to. Must we play such boring games when we can play much better ones?"

"Forget them, Terra. Forget them all. Stay with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again."

"What are you holding onto, Terra? Why can't you just let go?"

He knew their similarities, he knew her because he knew himself. Terra hated being similar to Peter Pan, she did, but she couldn't help being herself.

"Around that time, Rumple acquired a magic bean, and it allowed the travel between realms. Malcolm considered it fate, and decided to use it to travel to Neverland. Finally, he could return. Malcolm told his son stories of Neverland, its loving embrace and dreamlike features. Rumple had decided, thanks to the help of his father, that Neverland was the place for them to start over. They soon began their journey there, jumping into the portal and holding onto each other. Soon after arriving on the island, Malcolm was overjoyed by the feel of the sand and the smell of the breeze. Finally he was reunited with the island. His island. But Rumple wanted to start over, he wanted to stay with his father for eternity. But Malcolm couldn't have that. He soon realized that the more time he'd spent with Rumple, the less he felt like a boy. He felt like he had to work, and he didn't have a choice.

He knew it more than ever when he came into contact with pixie dust, and realized it had no effect on him anymore. Pixie dust doesn't work on grown ups.

It was around that time when the Shadow sensed the shadow had become a piece of Neverland in the time spent on the island, but it still was a piece of Malcolm as well. So it sensed Malcolm's wanting, and in turn, Malcolm sensed was when Malcolm knew what he had to do."

Terra felt horror rush into her. She couldn't believe his actions."He gave Rumple to the Shadow." She said, not questioning, just seeking confirmation.

"Yes, he gave his son to the Shadow, and in doing so, regained his youth. It was then that, in his guilt, he took upon the persona Peter Pan. But his story doesn't end there. He dashed to find his love, his only love. Immediately, she knew who he was and that he'd returned for her. Letting her passion overcome her, they embraced. But her father, the Chief, did not approve. His years had taught him much, and he knew that Peter Pan's appearance was unnatural. He knew that Peter Pan had broken the rules, that he'd cheated. So to protect his daughter, they prohibited any contact with the boy, and thus their love had become forbidden. But Peter Pan persisted. They both did, and continuously went to meet each other.

But not soon after they'd been meeting, The Chief had grown suspicious, and sent a guard to follow her. The guard had caught Tiger Lily with the boy, doing the most forbidden act of all. The act that only those married should be doing. Immediately after returning that night, the Chief had a meeting with his council. In the end, for disobeying her tribe and defiling her innocence, Tiger Lily was sentenced to death."

It was quiet for a moment, like a silent requiem for Tiger Lily was passing through the air. Terra was first to speak. "How did she die?" She asked, lumps in her throat.

"She was burned." Aelius said, emotion crossing his face as well.

"Peter Pan sought vengeance for his lost lover. He felt like fate had bested him, tricked him into believing he could be free. The night after Tiger Lily was killed, he and the Shadow wreaked havoc on the tribe, burning it to the ground and killing every last Indian. That was how Peter Pan lost his humanity. But still, after wiping out the Indians, Peter Pan was lonely, and we were angry. Us Neverbirds, we loved the Indians, and Malcolm had been a friend of ours. We felt betrayed."

You used to rule the island, yes?" Terra asked, making sure Felix hadn't lied to her.

"Indeed we did. But when we tried to talk sense into Pan, he grew malicious, got it in his head we were going against him and trying to make him leave the island he'd worked so hard to return to." Horatius said.

"With the help of his shadow, and his newly acquired magic, Pan trapped us in the cave and took complete control of Neverland." Aelius said.

"We would escape," Petronia started, "But we fear the state of Neverland. We fear it is not yet our time to escape."

"And that my dear," Aelius concluded, "Is the history of Neverland."

"What does this have to do with my escape, my destiny? Don't get me wrong, I feel bad and all, but I'd like so know what this has to do with me." Terra said confusedly.

"Oh Terra," Petronia started compassionately, "Don't you see? The similarities? The coincidences?"

"Neither of you 'chose' each other. Your meeting wasn't random, it was designed." Aelius said.

And suddenly, it made sense. The breezes, the deaths, the coincidences.

"Peter Pan is your destiny, Terra Diggs, and you are his. That is why you are here today, and that is why he has done what he has to have you. You think he just 'ran into you' and that he's just using you, that it's all a lie. But even before he knew you, he knew of you. He knew you would be the one for him because years ago, we had this very same conversation with him. He is your half, and you are his. He needs you to complete him."

And then it was all becoming clear. But the clarity surfaced more questions. If Peter Pan knew of her even before they met, then how did he meet her? Just how had he run into her that one day? And why, of all things, did Peter Pan, the immortal demon boy, need love?

Looks like Terra Diggs was wrong. The walker didn't chose the path, and the path didn't choose the walker, the person on the path dragged her that way.

Perhaps destiny was more real than she thought.


	8. Chapter 8 Faith, Trust

**a/n: Hey guys, chapter 8 is here! So here's the deal, Terra is still on the fence, which is rough, I know, but it makes you want to root for her, doesn't it? He has lied to her, and he's done a lot of bad things to her, which I think we all kind of forgot, but after the talk with the Neverbirds, she's kind of rushed back into reality, and she realizes he hasn't been at all truthful with her, and because of what he's done it is really hard for her to believe he actually likes her. I'm finding it hard to believe myself. So recently I've been thinking of putting Emma and her crew in this one, since it would make more sense, so please let me know. I've secretly been fangirling out about the idea of Pan as Henry and 'Henry' talking to Terra… **

**As always, your reviews and such are greatly appreciated! This chapter is kind of long, it took me a few days to write. The song I liked for this chapter is 'Where is My Mind', the piano instrumental version by Maxence Cyrin. **

Chapter 8: Faith, Trust

"…I don't understand. Evaluate," Terra Diggs spoke softly, successfully concealing her uneasiness and growing concerns.

"It is how it is. He is the one you were destined to be with." Horatius said.

She held her head in her hands, tugging at her hair as if to make sure she was not dreaming. It couldn't hurt to try. She left her hands at her face, covering her eyes, repeating the single two lettered word 'no' to herself over and over again, like a litany to the gods above, hoping that somehow they could rearrange destiny, just for her. Her senses knew that it was impossible, and she soon lost the ability to contain herself. "IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I-I never knew him. He was a stranger. How did he know me? Does he know? About me? About our.. Destiny? Has he been lying to me? Why does he need me? Pan doesn't need a soul mate, that's garbage. He's using me. I know it. Don't just sit there, EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!"

She hollered frantically, pacing in circles and throwing her hands around, her eyes wide and panic-stricken, like a small animal having a heart attack. She never wanted to trust Peter Pan. She did at some points, but she was always suspicious of him. He was lying, he was a liar, always had been. He'd lied so many times, but forced her to believe he was an honorable boy. What a joke.

_"__You're a father?"_

_"__No. You might say I'm a friend."_

**One.**

_"__I'd like to think it wasn't me who chose you, but you who chose me."_

**Two. **She especially hated that one. He had made her sound like she was some kind of puppy that he'd found in a pet store, and she'd let him speak about her in that manner.

_"__I didn't force you here, the shadow did."_

**Three.**

So many times he'd lied to her, and the worst part was that she believed him. They built up, like sticks for a fire. But now she was ready to set them to flames, the lies and her old self, the one that made her forget Peter Pan was a monster.

"We don't read minds, Terra. We know what we are allowed to know. While it is true that we've told Peter Pan this same tale of destiny, we have already said far too much. If you are so interested in the mind of Peter Pan, ask him." Aelius responded calmly, in an attempt to coax the girl out of her internal struggle. "Peter Pan may be a liar, but I believe he has motives, and they may not be as bad as you believe them to be."

Immediately, she began walking south to the exit of the cave, her oversized shoes clanking against the stones. "Where is she going now?" Horatius inquired, agitated.

"To find answers." She said sternly, adjusting the sword in her belt.

"Good Luck, Terra Diggs." Aelius called.

"And remember, you are always welcome back here." Petronia said compassionately.

"Yes, and tell us of Peter Pan's words." Horatius hollered at her, just before she stepped out of vision.

Faintly, they heard her say 'I will'.

Terra Diggs was quite anxious. The words the Neverbirds had spoken were yet to sink in, and she unconsciously looked for things to occupy herself with, whether it be the hem of her flimsy white under-dress, the stray yarn loose in her green sweater, or even the ends of her hair. Her belt was still firmly wrapped buckled at her waist, a sword and a leather canteen winded in it. She felt as ready as she'd ever be, but then again, that still was not enough. She doubted she'd ever be ready enough to face the demon boy, destined to be her lover.

She still resented the feelings of love somewhere in her. The majority of her past 'lovers' had been quite older than her, and usually they were the types you'd find hanging around in pubs. She knew they were only messing around, looking for a young stray to fill the gaps in their lives, but she still valued their attentions, if only for a brief little while. That was one thing Terra had soon learned about herself. She enjoyed attention; she had lacked it for much of her life, her father always too busy to spare more than a glance or a couple words most days and her mother disappearing at a young age.

Perhaps that was what drew her to Pan; he was one of the few boys who'd given her full attention. He made her feel valued, safe, the things she'd always looked for. But she didn't need safety anymore; she had safety. She realized that just like her, Pan valued attention, but he was far too selfish. He wanted all of it, he wanted her to _need _him_, _and that was something she just couldn't give him while living with the boys. Terra didn't need the attentions of Peter Pan anymore, no matter how much she still desired them. Pan was dangerous, and she grew tired of the fact that she could always forget who he was.

She stepped out into the musky air of the forest, it was quite foggy that evening. She'd lost track of time in the caves, and neglected to keep the hours. She didn't like it dark; dark meant less vision power, and the less power she had the more power he did. She closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of mud and trees, and listened carefully. Peter Pan was good, but she doubted he got be absolutely silent, not when the forest was deafeningly silent. She knew that he was well aware of where she was; he always did. He knew she went to the caves, if not because he felt it then because Felix informed him, and it wouldn't be long until he arrived.

She heard the telltale rustling and just _knew. _Some would take it as a sign of love, of devotion, but she took it as caution; an assured safety measure. And for once, she spoke first.

"I know you're there; I _hear you." _She said, her voice even and attempting monotone. She _heard _him smile, and move from wherever his position has been before. He approached her, a few steps away, and began to speak. "Well that was quite clever of you _chimera, _did'yaget that from Nibs?" She opened her eyes to a face lit by the moonlight, his face, graced with a proud smirk, his usual one. And for a few moments, she was breathless, like she hadn't seen him in decades, centuries even. But she didn't want to lose it all for a boy who was only lying. She didn't want to get lost anymore, it sickened her.

She fixed herself, her eyes drooping into a hooded anger and her stance falling into one of aggression. "You said you would never lie to me. You said you'd never lied." She sneered, a thick, husky anger accenting her voice and lacing it with venom. She adjusted her breathing, hoping to resist the urge to claw at him.

"Well, lying is a bit of a stretch. I _bended _the truth a bit, but never a lie." He said nonchalantly, with just a hint of his own venom. His eyebrows danced at her, as if figuring her out, taking her in even. She was always interesting to him.

"Liar." She barked, circling him, like for once he was the prey and she was the carnivorous animal. _My, how the tables turn, _she thought arrogantly.

"But haven't you heard, Terra? We're _destined. _I would never lie to my destined one." He said tauntingly, small edges cutting into his words. Suddenly, she felt a whole new rage slip into her. The awful feeling turned her guts and made her feel even sicker than before.

"You don't know me. Don't pretend you know me. You have _never _known me. But don't worry, Pan, because I know you quite well now. I'm sure Felix has informed you about my visit to the Neverbirds, and I have inferred based on the new information that you have been lying to me all along. This makes me entirely certain that your personality is repulsive, even more-so than the way you speak to me." She said vituperatively, taking on a defensive stance, seemingly holding an invisible sword.

His eyes narrowed, and he half chuckled, more malicious than actually amused. "Oh but I do know you. I know you plenty. I think it's you that doesn't know me, but don't you worry about that too much love, we've got eternities here to really get to know each other."

She felt her heart clang angrily. He hadn't even bothered to acknowledge her insults. "You think that I'd forget? That I've forgotten all the horrible, awful things you've done? You were gonna kill Tootles. You did kill Frederick. You took me from my home, _twice_. You once tried to strangle me with your magic. Yes, I remember that too, you know, when I accused you of caring for me and you lifted me in the air by my neck? You take boys away and convince them that they have no hope, that you're the only one who can save them. You take advantage of people, you constantly humiliate me, and you think I'm stupid enough to buy into your lies. And I'll admit Pan, you were quite convincing. I almost believed you, you almost had me. But I caught on. You can't fool me twice. I know you were using me. I know you're a cheater. I know everything now, and I won't trust you anymore. I've been forgetting too often lately, and it won't happen anymore." She said, rationality coming back. She really did want to believe he wasn't as bad as he was, but the better parts of her told her not to.

"But I do care for you, Terra, I was just scared, like you used to be. But you don't have to be scared anymore. We can be together now, a family, me, you and the boys. I only do what I do to survive, you understand that, right?" He said pretentiously, slivers of mock innocence and affection caking his voice.

"That's what I used to think, all the time. I was scared, but you are not scared Peter Pan. You're not at all like me. The difference is, I feel bad for the things I've done. I don't lie to people. I still have humanity, and you've long since lost yours. You openly told me you didn't care about hurting people. I begged you to spare my friends and you told me you didn't care. It's all about you. _You, you, you_, never anyone else. You don't care about me, you just know my weaknesses, and you play them whenever you see fit. But I won't succumb to my desires, not anymore. I'm not a little girl anymore. I've grown, and it's quite clear to me that you haven't. And something tells me you never will, and I won't damn myself to such a fate." She was losing her defensive, her stance fading into a slouched sadness. She wished it didn't have to be this way, but she knew better now. She had always believed that maturity was doing things, even if you didn't want to. And now she was finally acting on it.

"I care so much for you, Terra. You're all I've ever cared about. I would never do those things to you." He said, such thick, fake sweetness strangling all the love out of his words.

"LIAR!" She roared carnivorously, quickly unsheathing her sword and diving toward him. He was gone in the instant she swung it, and for a few moments she damned herself for forgetting her purpose for confronting him. She didn't come to persecute him, she came for answers.

When she heard him behind her, moving to put his arms around her, she remained still, unfazed by his forged love. "But you have done those things, Peter, especially to me. Stop lying for once and answer me straightforwardly. Like you said, I'm stuck here anyway, so it won't matter whether or not I hate you."

The words _I hate you _stung him more than he'd have liked to admit. She was meant for him, the only one who wouldn't think badly of him, that's what _they _told him. He was told she'd without a doubt believe in him, love him. He was supposed to finally have someone, forever, who wouldn't secretly hate him or disregard his words. But he was lying, and he supposed he'd hate it more if she was easy to fool.

"Don't hate me Terra. You and I, we need each other." He said, his voice completely foreign to her. Now she couldn't tell if he was really telling her the truth, so she fully chose to deny it. She chose to believe it was a new way to lie to her.

"Then answer me seriously. When did you first meet me? And don't say it was when we ran into each other that one day, because you and I both know that's not true. You wouldn't just walk right into a stranger, that's not you." She said unsympathetically.

He released her from his one-sided hug and moved to face her, a smirk pushing his dimples into view. His eyebrows danced questioningly. "Are those new clothes, Terra? I wonder just where it is you acquired them from." She stiffened, categorizing this voice as his manipulative kind. He knew exactly where they came from.

"Let's see now, who do we know that hides out in the caves? It couldn't possibly be the Neverbirds, they've no use for such material goods. Ah, I think I know. It couldn't be the little boy Baelfire, could it? Have you made a new friend, Terra?"

She adjusted her shoulders, allowing them to move back into a straight line. She would show him she was not afraid anymore, especially not when Baelfire was safe in the caves.

"You're quite good at that, aren't you? Making friends. Just like me. I make friends too, Terra. People like us, we're easy to trust."

"But not right to trust." She growled. "You can't hurt him, he's safe in there, and I doubt your boys can find him in there, he's got quite the hiding place."  
He put a hand on his chest, imitating hurt. "Who said I was going to hurt him? Why Terra, you're awfully quick to doubt me."

She rolled her eyes. "You've unsuccessfully changed the subject, Pan. Now tell me how you first targeted me."

"Ouch, I've been demoted back to Pan now?"

"Stop it."

"Fine." He said through gritted teeth, "But keep in mind that I don't have to tell you anything, _chimera, _I'm only telling you this because I want to."

"Oh I've been demoted back to chimera now?"

He smirked at her. "The truth is Terra I didn't exactly 'meet you'. See before it was just me and the children who visited in their dreams, but they couldn't stay, and I was getting… Lonely. So I decided to start finding young boys to take with me, ones who needed homes. But that was years ago."

"Stop stalling." She said annoyed, rolling her eyes at his attempt at a big dramatic story. If he wanted sympathy he wouldn't get it from her.

"I'm not," he growled, "This is a piece to the story."

"Then clearly this'll be a long one." She said with a sigh, stepping back to find a rock to sit on.

"Impatient, are we?" He said with a smirk.

"You know better than anyone." She said, reaching down for her water and motioning for him to continue mid-drink.

"My first group of boys seemed well-fitted for the island, the first week they loved it, fighting, chasing pirates, the whole lot of it. But they grew tired of my games, and they rallied against me. Well, all except one, but I get the feeling you're not nearly patient enough for me to ramble into that story."

She stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I had no choice but to return them."

"Wow, you didn't kill them? Shocker." Terra said sarcastically.

He gritted his teeth. "After the first group left, I felt… Betrayed. I thought I was to spend eternity alone."

"What about Felix?"

"Well Felix is loyal, yes, but Felix has his own motivations. So, much like you, I decided to pay a visit to my old friends in the caves. That was when I learned of you. Well, your coming."

Terra felt repulsed. "You knew about me before I was born?"

"Come now _chimera_, wipe that awful look off your face. It can't be that bad. You should feel flattered, after all, I waited for you for decades."

Her lips curled up in disgust. "You hung around me when I was a baby?"

He scoffed. "Of course not love."

She sighed with a relief, but his words were too sonly celebrated.

"I had the shadow watch over you, wait until I could take you back with me."

She jumped to her feet. "YOU WHAT?"

His eyebrows raised at her sudden outburst. "Well I had to make sure you were really the one somehow Terra."

"Y-yeah but not like that! That's…. Weird." She struggled for words. Her whole life she thought she was secretive, kept to herself. But he already knew everything about her.

"Oh it doesn't matter to me love. Your previous life is forgotten now."

"It matters to me. Don't call me love. My name is Terra."

They bickered back and forth, before she found a new burning question.

"You always planned to take me back with you. Why?" She asked skeptically.

"I told you I'm lonely. What's a boy to do without his destined lover around?"

"Stop with the destined lover nonsense. I know that's not true."

His eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that anyone could love you?"

She smirked proudly. She was finally the one getting to him. "It's not, I just don't believe that you do. Why do you need me?"

His enraged face quickly rose to a perky leer. "See that's what I love about you Terra. So much more than a pretty face."

"Tell me." She sneered.

"Or what? You'll kiss me again?" He mused.

"No, I'll tear you limb from limb and bury you in the bottom of the ocean." She growled.

"Is that a threat? You've grown rather audacious. You should know better than to threaten me."

"What? Are you going to hurt your destined one, Peter Pan? I thought you said you'd never hurt me." She said curtly.

"So am I expected to let you 'tear me limb from limb' then?" He said with a smirk.

He was good. Bur since he'd so clearly avoided telling her his plans, it was obvious he had some. He needed her for something.

"If you knew I was meant for you, then why didn't you take me sooner? Wouldn't it have been easier to take me right after my father died, when I was vulnerable?" She inquired suspiciously.

"Would you have preferred I did that?"

"I would have preferred not to go at all."

He laughed, genuinely this time. Terra was always entertaining to him. "I didn't want you vulnerable, Terra. I want you brave, courageous, stubborn as hell. That's my _chimera." _

"Okay what about before my father passed? When I was detached and willing to leave?"

"I doubt you would've left your father, Terra."

"Yes I would have." She argued.

"Perhaps, but you would have been more eager to leave."

She pursed her lips. She hated it when he was always right. He took her silence as an opportunity to change the subject, successfully this time.

"Did you know, Terra, that in Neverland, you can have anything you'd like?" He said authentically. She brought her eyes up to his, curiosity and excitement in them, just like how they were before. She was reverting back, just like he knew she could.

"You can have anything, anything at all, if only you wish hard enough and think lovely thoughts. You didn't have to go to Baelfire for refuge, you didn't have to wear that dress. Your mind is too busy with grown up things when it doesn't need to be." He coaxed her gently, eagerly awaiting her response.

"Would you… Would you teach me?" She said quietly, letting her curiosity get the better of her. It would be useful to know this for later, which was the only reason why she was doing this. The fact that technically it included bonding with Pan on some level was merely coincidence.

He smiled big and devilishly. He knew he could still get her to comply with him, to let go. He loved her like that. "Just think it. Whatever you want, just believe it could happen and it will. I know you can do this, Terra. You've flown before."

She stared at him, trying to find a bluff, a lie in his eyes, or at least a taunting air like usual. But there was nothing. He was speaking genuinely. For once, he was telling her the truth, a useful truth. Her eyes didn't leave his, her head still turned toward his even when her lids feel shut. She felt her heart swell. What she wanted most was an apple cupcake, what she wanted most was the dagger Curly made her, the one with faulty edges and messy initials imprinted in the side. T.D, her initials shakily engraved into the dagger he made her for her birthday. She wanted more than anything to hear the songs Jack would play her, she wanted more than anything to hear Nibs tell her about his new ploy, his new ideas. But she couldn't have those things. She lost track of her thoughts, her mind focusing on the steady breathing of the boy next to her, making sure he wouldn't trap her, that he wouldn't move away from a crowd of boys to kick at her again.

"How do you expect to really believe if your mind is elsewhere?" Peter Pan said into her ear huskily.

"I'm sorry if I'm less than trusting." She hissed sarcastically.

"But you have to trust me this time, or it won't work. Just believe in what I told you."

She sighed at his words, internally rolling her eyes and refocusing her thoughts. She hastily went back in her mind, checking over every detail of what he'd said to reassure herself that he was not lying.

When she finally thought his words made sense, she thought of her boots. The ones back home that actually fit, the ones she buried away in her closet in the mass of heels and matching dresses Frederick bought her. The ones with scuffs and dull bronze buckles, leather and laces that went all the way up to her knee. She missed those boots. They were easy to run in with hardly a heel and heavy rubber at the bottom for a firm grip. She squeezed her eyes at the longing thought, believing that they'd make it to her.

Her eyebrows raised, astonished at the familiar feeling of heavy rubber on her lap. Her eyes shot open and she grinned amazedly at the sight before, the recognizable leather and buckles weighing on her dress. She couldn't help a gasp, and a fit of happy giggles quickly followed. Peter Pan smiled at her, happy to see she could believe just as well as he could. She was one of the special ones.

"Does this work with everything? Can I do this anytime?" She asked, composing herself.

"Yes. Anytime you want, whenever you can find it in yourself to believe." He replied assuredly.

Her grin found its way back onto her face, her cheeks accented with a pink kind of grace. She really did love this new information.

"See? I told you that you could trust me. All you've ever had to do is believe." He said confidently.

She frowned. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

He smiled, attempting a shy grin, but it came off more smirk-ish. "Well I wasn't positive you'd be able to believe in me then. You were always trying to run away from me."

She didn't believe that for a second. It would have been easier to tell her this then than now. She soon realized she was over-staying. She wasn't sure what questions to ask him anymore, seeing as how he proved he wasn't going to answer them straightforwardly. "Speaking of running.." She muttered to herself, just low enough that she thought it would be impossible for him to catch. He did. She began to lace up her boots, putting the others to the side so that she could take them back to Baelfire.

"Going somewhere?" He inquired surreptitiously.

"Actually yes, I'm heading back to the caves." She replied hesitantly at his sudden change in attitude. "Why?"

"I'd be careful in those caves if I were you Terra."

"They're safer than out here." She argued.

She heard rustling and quickly looked behind her, but it was useless. It was just too dark. She did, however, see a nod from Peter Pan, and that was all she needed. He needed to have her back; he liked having her so close to him. He missed those nights where they curled up with each other, just them and the night. He missed her steady breathing next to him, her quiet sleep chatter. He missed having her all to himself, and he would have it again. He recalled her in her room, back with the boys, her nightmares and thoughts of him. He appreciated knowing that even without her knowing he was there, he was always on her mind. On a special few occasions, when he decided to be daring, he crawled in next to her. Even without her being awake, he knew she felt him, because every time he did creep into bed with her, her eyebrows furrowed, like she was scolding him for doing so. He would whisper something to her; usually he'd say something he knew she would somehow hear. Something she would remember, something along the lines of 'I'll have you back, Terra, and we can be together, me and you_, always_.'

But still, soon after he'd started to get comfortable, after she'd moved and relaxed with him, she'd suddenly realize where she was, her brain struggling to wrap around the fact that he was there. He would always hear her internal resistance, sometimes she'd even cry. It did hurt him to see her move away from him, to see her try so desperately to escape him.

He must've had some kind of look in his eyes for her to look so troubled. Instead of cowering away, for once, he looked right back at her, the pain and longing still in his eyes. She felt cold sweats and shivers down her spine, just from that one look. As much as she wanted to deny herself that look, to deny his authentic hurting, it was hard. She wanted to believe he was only lying, that somehow he'd managed to concoct such a look. Her face mirrored his hurt, especially when she felt two figures grasp her arms from behind. She felt betrayed, but she should have expected this. She tore her eyes away from his to look at her captors. Immediately, she began to scream and thrash about.

He flinched at her sudden rage, her sudden eagerness to escape. True, he was heartless, but seeing her so ardent to escape him, to leave him behind, made him hurt in ways he couldn't explain. He often left people, but the thought of her leaving him made him feel worse than he wanted to.

Her head flung back, smashing with one of the boys behind her, making him lose his grip on her arm. She heard him step back a few times, and that was all the time she needed. Ignoring the dizziness and pain in her own head, she hastily reached down for the sword tucked away in her belt with her free limb, only to find it gone. She'd forgotten she'd dropped it earlier while using it to threaten Pan. Why hadn't she thought to pick it up again? Feeling more hands coming at her, she elbowed the other form grasping her left arm in the ribs. He lost his grip enough for her to yank her arm free and thrash herself away from the arms reaching for her.

She lunged forward, falling to the ground and firmly clutching her sword. Elbowing and thrashing away from several new boys howling and calling out savagely, she made her way to her feet. She blindly thrust her sword places, swinging it about in the darkness. In the dim moonlight, she saw groups of boys stepping back from the forceful metal.

"You snake!" She called to the tallest figure in the back, assuming that it was Pan.

"Well that was hurtful." He said smugly, feeling proud of his brave girl for being able to fight off the boys despite her looks.

She dodged a blade coming at her side, moving to slash it away with her own. The two swords collided with a clang. In the moonlight, she slit skin at the side of her foe's upper arm. She wasn't quite sure how deep, but judging by the boy's yowl of pain and blood coated fingers, it must've been fairly deep. Noting the several new figures, she searched for an exit route. She quickly pushed the figures gauging at her arms, begging for a grip on the girl that was Pan's newest game. She sprinted into the trees, eyes wide open, hair flinging behind her in the wind. The crunches under her feet reassured her, egging her on and willing her to move faster. She barreled through the bushes, pushing stray branches out of the way and hoping they'd hit the boys not far behind her in the face.

When the feet tramping behind her lessened and grew fainter, she was reassured she could be free. She felt like she didn't have to be a captor of Peter Pan, she could make her own destiny. She believed she could live out her days in the cave, sure it was bad, but it was better than Peter Pan. That was when she felt it. The sudden and terrible jolt of pain to her upper shoulder.

The new boys were smarter; they weren't as humane. After all, one had just had the nerve to release an arrow through the air and into her shoulder.

She collapsed to the ground, her howls of pain piercing the foggy air. She wanted to continue to run, she was sure she could if this were an ordinary arrow. But something was terribly wrong with this arrow, something not quite right. They'd altered it somehow.

Boys crowded around her, high fiving each other and asking who shot the arrow, who had won the game. A few had the bravado to kick her, but shortly after hearing a yell from Peter Pan, she blacked out, the cold ground below her trying to push her to her feet again.

**Review? What'd you think? Questions, suggestions? I liked the Peter Pan bit, the part where he talked about going to see her when she was back in the Enchanted Forest. Sorry if he seemed a bit OOC, but I thought that was how he would be if he liked a girl. That arrow part hopefully gave you guys a glimpse of these new lost boys. They are ruthless and far less kind than the last ones. It isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows with those lost boys. No more cute little boys, sorry:( I was unhappy too. I miss Curly already. Sorry if you found any typos, I don't have a beta, I never have, but if you're interested, let me know.**


	9. Chapter 9 And a Little Bit of Dreamshade

**Chapter 9: And a Little Bit of the Deadly Poison Dreamshade**

**A/N: _ So for a song, I really liked 'White Blank Page', by Mumford and Sons. You guys should totally check it out, it's the bomb and definitely relevant. If anything doesn't seem right, let me know. Also, your reviews are always welcomed and appreciated, you don't even know how happy I am to get them, so for all you reviewers out there, I love you guys. _**

Several times before passing out, the arm free from crushing weight of her body searched for the arrow around her backside, aching for it to be gone, and her hand ready to pull it out. Her limb bobbed around her back like a fish out of water, but immediately stilled at the feel of crisp wood. She wanted to pull it out, but the fear and the pain numbed her actions. She briefly wondered if it was sleeping powder they dipped the arrow in, but that wouldn't explain the pain spreading to all her appendages. It was then, after the useless attempts to remove the arrow, that she lost consciousness. The last thing she remembered was a cool breeze grazing her face from the ground, cut in places by the legs of lost boys and forcing her eyes shut. She wanted them to stay open, but the winds compelled them shut, coaxing her body to a deep sleep.

He didn't see it all, just the bit where she fell to the floor. He hadn't seen the arrow coming, but he did train the boys to be ruthless, loyal, so he should have seen it coming. He did not approve, true, but not quite in the way that he should have. He disapproved because he had intended to gracefully ensure her stay, not through the deadly poison dreamshade. He wanted her to stay because she loved him, because she loved the island, not because she would die if she didn't. But it was no matter, this would guarantee her stay. But that didn't mean he wasn't angry.

"Who's arrow?" He demanded with a snarl.

The lost boys were silenced; they carefully glanced around at each other, worrying about their own safeties. Peter was practically a fiend when he got like this. They all stepped back, the boy in the middle frozen with fright, his feet held in place by the cold ground who sought revenge for the girl lying unconscious. "Please, Peter." He choked hoarsely, meeting his leader's cold green eyes with his teary brown ones.

"Sorry laddie." He said tauntingly.

The other boys, unlike the last group, did not turn their heads. They didn't cower away from the horrendous act before them, in fact, some snickered mockingly. None were sad to see their lost friend go. The boy was no older than twelve, just looking to win Peter Pan's approval. But sadly, there was a downside to there being no rules in Neverland; nobody had the slightest clue what was safe and what wasn't. What would please the mind of Peter Pan, and what would enrage him.

A raucous and obnoxious crack, similar to the snapping of a tree branch, pierced every ear in range. The telltale thud of a numbed body followed and thickened the already tense atmosphere. The lost boys stood in place, praying that Peter Pan was satisfied with one death tonight.

"Felix." He called out to the sandy blonde emerging from behind and marching toward his leader. Needing no confirmation from his most trusted lost boy, he continued with his order, "Take care of our little friend here."

"The boy?" Felix asked, a little amused and satisfied by the two figures on the ground. He didn't particularly enjoy either of them.

Peter was less than entertained. "Yes the boy." He snapped impatiently, pausing for only a second before adding, "And take the others with you. This game is finished."

Felix insensitively threw the motionless boy over his shoulder and trekked away from the scene, others quickly following, tripping over each other in desperate attempts to leave the area before Peter decided to lash out again.

Peter sighed exasperatedly, going to kneel beside girl. Warily, he turned her on her side to inspect the wound and to eye the poison that was quickly spreading. Luckily, she was still salvageable. The poison traced thick black lines down her back, travelling up her veins, but it would be some time before it reached her heart. There was still time to place her back at camp and talk her into drinking the water. If he could talk her into it, it was almost like her choosing to stay, at least he could convince himself it was.

"Oh _Chimera, _just what have you gotten yourself into?" He mocked with a sigh.

He placed her fragile body in his arms, adjusting her limbs to ensure her unconsciousness for the trip, and disappeared into the dark forest. A frown found its way onto his face at the feeling of her cold skin on his. He recalled when she had been so warm, her body curled up and guarded protectively by his arms and the sun trickling into her hair. He hoped that they could be that way again, forgetting time and its meaningless presence in their lives, the world at their mercy, an undefeatable duo. He missed her playing games with him, lightheartedly throwing arms at him for an apple, hours of hide and chase. She could be a killer, he knew it, and he'd seen it. She kept telling him she wanted real affection, emotions she could sense and know were there, but he had other plans. She didn't need anyone to love her that way, not when the way he loved her now was more than enough. He loved her with a soul-crushing passion. He loved her so much it was edging insanity, and he would kill any man who got too close to her. He wished she would stop insisting he be raw with her and start seeing that he wouldn't. He had no use for such materialistic nonsense. All love is selfish; but his was obsessive.

Whenever he tried to imagine days without her, it just seemed impossible, and imagining her without him was equally complicated. He often tried to remember just how he lived without her; her smile and her ashy hair and her sarcastic wits. He wanted all of it, nobody else deserving of her perfect little giggle, her tears, or even her anger. He remembered her objections for his less than civilized acts against the Duke she almost cursed herself with, but letting the man live would've been an abomination. He'd first intended to let the man escape with a few scars and intolerable fear, but when he saw them together, the man clearly too old for her, he lost track of his intentions. She was not a bird, she had proven to him she would never be such a thing for him, yet still, he couldn't help his uncontrollable desires to lock her in a cage and keep her only for himself, hidden from the world. He could make her be a bird for him, his bird. She could get used to him again, and they could be together forever, just as soon as his eternal life was restored.

He felt her stir in his arms, her eyebrows furrowing as they usually did when she began recognizing him and his smell and the rough feel of his green tunic on her cheek. He would always leave her when she began noticing him, running from her arms knowing that she would never willingly accept him if she knew that he'd constantly watched her the way he did. He liked seeing her relax around him, yet her angelic face as she slept was always so clearly ruined by his presence. He was impatient, and it was especially true when he had to wait for what felt like eons for her to love him back again.

"What…" She slurred, grunting at the stabs of pain in her lower back. Her eyelids still heavy with exhaustion, she tried again. "What's happening to me?"

He stared down at her, his face unreadable. "You got hit with an arrow." He reminded her distantly, slightly pleased that she was yet to thrash around.

"I… Know." She tripped over her words, not fully comprehending much of what she was saying. "I mean…" She continued, but faded out in her confusion. The only thing positively clear to her was the sounds of her voice and the irrefutable pains in her body. His voice the only light left in her dark world, all the lights put out by the same ungodly creature guiding her. She knew it was wrong to let him lead her, but she didn't have much choice when she had lost the ability to lead herself. Still, she couldn't help the irrepressible urge to escape his hold, much to his dismay. She started to toss about in his arms, not sure of the reason, just feeling uncomfortable in them.

"I wouldn't move too much if I were you _chimera, _you might speed up that nasty poison in your system." He said with a taunting, yet gentle tone.

"What... _Poison_?" She murmured. "Is that why… I feel like…" She struggled for a word to describe it, she wanted to say 'like I've been to hell and back', but she had been. Neverland was her hell. She had been to hell, home and back again. But what she was feeling now was far worse.

"Yes, call it a common custom of Neverland to ensure victory; we lace our weapons in a deadly poison only found on the island." He said with a smirk. "But don't fret, I've got a cure for you." He added with a tender kiss to her forehead.

"Am I going to die?" She choked out, grasping her tears firmly, not having the strength to brush away his pretentious kisses.

"Of course not, I'd never allow that." He snorted.

"Why not?" She asked childishly.

The question irritated him. He tried so hard to understand her logic, why she could not, would not find it in her to trust him again. True he'd told small lies here and there, but so had she. She'd pretended just as often as he had, yet he still came back to fetch her repeatedly and to save her from a life of misery. Against all odds, he always found his way back to get her. But still, he was a bit pleased at her sudden interest. She wouldn't be asking if she wasn't beginning to understand, if only a little. His grip on her intensified slightly, his breathing thicker than before.

"Because you're mine, and I won't ever let you leave me, not even in death." He said with a growl. And it was true, simple as the day and the night. She was his, and nothing would ever change that. She was one of the few things that would stay, not just because she had no choice, but because she wanted to. He remembered all the other girls he'd brought back, how quickly they wanted to leave. Always, he'd given them a choice, and always, they chose against him. But she wouldn't. No, she'd love him and belong to him and never escape him and he wouldn't even have to lock her up.

But in her delirious stupor, she said the thing he'd been waiting to hear, since the day he first spoke to her on the street. He saw the realization dawning on her face. This was surely the moment when she was beginning to comprehend that no matter how hard she tried, she would always be a captive, a possession to Peter Pan. Her cheeks sunk ever so slightly, her body losing the will to fight against him. Her eyes reddened from pain and bloodshot from exhaustion, she whispered the word he'd constantly whispered to her, the only one fit for him.

"_Always._"

And then she was pulled back under and into a deep sleep, away from the world in the arms of Peter Pan, the boy she could never escape, no matter how hard she fought.

_***XXX***_

_Nightmares._

That was an awful side effect to dreamshade. The deadly poison made it so that even in your dreams, you were trapped in suffering. All sorts of people haunted the dreams of Terra Diggs.

_She ran to him, her arms shaky and her lips quivering. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. But you're going to be okay, I promise."_

_His limbs were unresponsive, his body stale and the stench repulsive. She thought for sure he was gone, his gems and expensive robes drenched in his blood. She knelt over him, trying to get a heartbeat. Just when she had given up, her tears streaming down his face, his eyes were opened, though they were anything but welcoming. The irises were no longer a light shade of blue; they looked to be eaten by the blackness of the pupils, surrounded by a sea of blood red. She flinched._

_"You did this." The Duke's voice said, slightly demented and a lacking any kind of emotion other than resentment._

_"No no, I'm sorry!" She yelled frantically, the areas surround her fading to black, his body pushing away from her at rapid speed until he was out of sight. She laid there, surrounded by the murky atmosphere. She saw nothing, and she only felt and knew her grief._

_"You've done enough. It's your fault he's going to kill us all now." Slightly said from behind her._

_"You said you'd save us." Curly whimpered._

_"Now look at the mess you've made." Nibs added in a dark voice._

_"No, I can fix this." She said firmly._

_"But Terra, you can't even fix yourself." Jack sounded from behind._

_And in a moment of horror, she looked down to see her own blood, oozing from the hole in her chest and the arrows in her limbs._

She had slept for what felt like eternities. That was only one of them, and not nearly the worst one. She couldn't remember all of them, but she did know that she couldn't wake up for the longest time, the poison spreading everywhere.

Strangely, the darkness was comforting. In the dark, she could pretend it was only her and her tears. No taunting words or Peter Pan, no more fighting for survival, just Terra Diggs and her loneliness. But still, somewhere in that dark cave of her being, she longed for the youth and persuasive words of Peter Pan.

She awoke softly, unlike the other times at home where she'd bolted upright. Her eyes breezed open, her lashes fluttering slightly at the pain. She groaned at the familiar feel of bedding under her, but knowing that it was not her home, she had lost faith that she could ever truly be home again. She knew Pan was there, somewhere in the bleak night and dimly lit room. She wondered how it managed to stay dark, why day had not come yet. She guessed that no matter how long it felt like her night terrors lasted, she could not have been asleep for more than an hour. But there were worse thoughts to consume her fresh mind, like if Baelfire had gone looking for her.

He wouldn't, she concluded, knowing that he was just as careful as she was, maybe more. They were friends, yes, but in Neverland it was hard to have friends and still survive, even more-so than before. Baelfire was a scared boy, one that was used to being alone. He wouldn't look for her, not when he knew she could fend for herself. She wished she could be defending herself right now, she thought, her heart sinking at the thought of herself in Peter Pan's arms, his protection her only salvation.

He saw the thoughts sputter across her face. Her pale, sweat coated face. He smirked, already having some idea of what these thoughts were. Slowly, he approached her, a march in triumph for finally having his private lover back where she belonged.

"Sleep well?" He said smugly.  
She stared warily at him, her eyes flickering to the object in his hand. "What is that?" She inquired guardedly, her arms unconsciously rising to her chest.

"Call it a gift." He proclaimed proudly.

"Beware of Greeks bearing gifts." She remarked.

He shrugged, moving to put the small ceramic jug down. She watched him closely, making sure he really meant no harm. He met and stared back into her deep blue eyes as he made his way to the foot of her bed, and much to her dismay, took a seat. Suddenly feeling naked without her large green sweater, she moved to cover herself up. Such a flimsy white under-dress was not appropriate while in such a close perimeter of anyone, especially not Peter Pan.

"Aw well there's no need to be shy now Terra." He said, his trademark smirk glorifying in her humiliation.

"Oh I'm not shy," she began, attempting nonchalance, "I just don't want you to get used to it."

"Suit yourself." He responded, not shaken by her attempt to rattle him.

"My boots?" She asked, moving to leave.

"Making a run for it again _Chimera? _I would think you'd have learned your lesson."

"So I got hit. Can't win them all." She grumbled, her feet making contact with the cold floor.

"You seem well, I mean, considering the poison and all." He taunted.

She paused a second, thinking of a snarky comeback. She hadn't thought of the poison. He did say he wouldn't let her die, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to be saved either. At least, not by him.

"And whose fault is that?" She snorted.

"What, you think I did this?" He smirked.

"As you've told me before, they're your boys."

"If I were you Terra, I'd sit back down." He said in a low voice, quickly changing from teasing to warning.

"If you were me I wouldn't have gotten hit." She commented snidely.

It was quiet for a moment, both of them too prideful to speak first, contemplating each other's words and carefully picking their next ones.

"How were the nightmares, Terra? Pretty gruesome I'd imagine." He started in a velvety tone. She froze, her eyes narrowing and her arms aching. She damned herself when she forgot that he always knew. He took her silence as an opportunity, speaking up and moving to sit next to her. "See that's the poison moving to your head, and if it's already gotten to your head, it won't be long until it's stopping your heart." He mocked softly, his finger grazing the area on her chest where her heart was under her flesh.

She swallowed hard, her eyes blaring with tears. She couldn't pretend around him anymore, it was just too hard. Her mind was already getting lost in the dreary despair of the dreamshade, she felt herself letting go of humanity. "Why are you telling me this? To mock me?" She spoke thickly.

"Mock you? No Terra, not to mock you. To cure you. That's what the gift is, I brought you a cure." And the hollow affection returned. He was hiding something.

"What's the catch? What do you want in return?" She asked distrustfully, her eyes reading his like a foreign book, desperately trying to understand his words.

"Tell you what _chimera, _because you're so special to me, you can have it, free of charge." He said in a silky, devilish voice.

His tone gave her chills. Something felt… Terribly wrong. Peter Pan was giving her life, free of charge. It felt like the world had somehow flip-flopped in the time she'd been unconscious.

"I don't-" She began, only to be interrupted by a rude, unspeakable image in her brain. She nearly fell forward, the grisly sight of blood and loss overthrowing her brain and numbing her abilities to sit up correctly. She gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth in horror. She looked over to him, a tear spilling from her deep ocean eyes, looking to him of all people for comfort. She wished she could play it off, but it was far too late for that. "What is this?" She asked, aghast and sickened by the hallucinations.

"I told you, Terra, it's the poison going to your head, and judging by the look on your face, I'd say you haven't got much time." He said darkly.

She gulped, her eyes not leaving his. She had never been so scared in her whole life. Death was threatening, yes, but that was not what terrified her. What terrified her was the thought of never reaching home, her boys and Killian and Tootles never hearing from her again. What was more terrifying than death was not having a life, not leaving a mark on the world. What had Terra Diggs contributed to the world? Nothing, she'd accomplished nothing.

But a new thought was overcoming her senses, a far more appalling one.

_She never would_.

Even if she lived, she'd spend her days here, in the cursed terrain of Neverland, at the mercy of Peter Pan. Home was a far off dream now, no matter what she did.

"I don't want it." She confirmed out loud.

He scoffed. "What?"

"I said I don't want it." She snapped.

He moved from his spot next to her and onto his feet, pacing the floor with a smirk. "Someone's got quite the little death wish."

"No, Peter Pan, I've got quite the freedom wish."

"You're cheating." He growled.

"I've no idea what you mean." She said innocently.

"Cheaters never win, Terra."

"Well good because I'm not cheating." She barked.

"You're trying to leave the island, to escape the game." He taunted.

"Ooo, caught me red-handed." She replied, equally mocking.

"Oh come on now _chimera_, just where did your sense of adventure go?"

"Must've gotten lost in the poison."

They glared at each other for what felt like decades, their stubbornness knowing no sense of time. She, unwilling to cave to his desires, and him, refusing her ploys to escape. His burning green eyes tore her apart, ripping down the pretenses and letting her know that he could read her like the very book she was. He knew everything, he knew that even though she denied it, somewhere inside, she was a lost girl, still looking for a place to belong, even though she'd had many. Nothing would ever be good enough for her, and he was convinced him and his fantastical island could be.

"But I told you, Terra, you can never escape me." He said, his hands closing around the small ceramic jug and lifting it into the air. Sensing his plan, she scrambled back into the wall and away from him.  
"No, Peter, I told you I don't want it." She said frantically.

He inched closer, kneeling on the bed and in front of her. He put a finger to her lips and gazed into her eyes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. It quickly faded when she stopped moving, her back against the wall and her hands searching for something to grasp, to protect herself with.

"I really don't care." he said. Her eyes widened with fear and her breathing accelerated, her eyebrows knitting in panic.  
She watched him pull the edge to his lips and fill his mouth with the cure. She thought that she was safe, that maybe he was just messing with her, but when instead of swallowing he met her eyes, her fears were reignited. "P-plea-" She was cut off by his mouth on hers, his lips forcing hers apart and pouring the cool water in her mouth. She tried to protest, her arms shooting up to punch at him and her body trying to pull away. It was all in vain.

"He coaxed her mouth into swallowing the liquid, stray water droplets edging out of the corners of her mouth from the battle of lips they had just gone through. They mingled with her fresh tears.

"There now, that wasn't so bad was it?" He said mockingly, but when instead of answering she cowered away, he smirked bigger.  
"Shhh, don't be afraid," he started, brushing away tears. "Be flattered."

* * *

**_A/N: Hey fellas, so how did I do? I've had some really bad writer's block lately, so this was the best I could do! I'm still not 100% satisfied, but I figured I made you guys wait long enough. When I first uploaded this chapter, some cooky stuff went on (parts missing, random computer jibber jabber) so if you see anything that doesn't make sense, please tell me so I can fix it. I had originally intended to make the Pan/Terra cure scene much cuter and fluffier, like the Klaroline scene from TVD, but I had an epiphany sometime last night. I don't think Terra would've taken that cure, I probably wouldn't have either. But I also don't think Pan would've just let her die, so that's how it turned out. I hope Peter wasn't too OOC, sorry about the love-y love stuff, but you know. So my next thought is, when is he going to tell her she can't ever leave now? Will Terra just give into him now? And what about Baelfire? Just some things to think about. Let me know if you have any suggestions of anything, I am always open to new ideas. Oh, speaking of which, I have decided to put Henry and them in here, so they should be coming along within the next two or three chapters. In case you didn't notice, these last two chapters' titles sort of connected with each other, "Faith, Trust", and this one being titled, "And a little bit of the deadly poison dreamshade." _**


	10. Chapter 10: What Do I Owe?

**_A/N: Good news! I'm not dead. And I'd like to continue living, so if any of you have sharpened pitch forks… Okay, so things have been crazy, conventions and vacations and what not. Unfortunately, my writer's block is still pretty bad. I've been editing this chapter for 3 days and it still doesn't please me as much as I want. So the part in the middle with Pan I got from a post off of Tumblr, I'm a bit hazy on the name right now but if you would really like to know I can find out for you. Thank you all for the reviews, the follows, I'll try to keep up with you from now on! . I'm sorry if I am a terrible person to you guys! I hope you like it, if there's anything you think went too fast, seemed boring, anything, let me know because I am at a loss for these things at the moment. It's shorter than I wanted, but the next part with Baelfire and Terra is gonna be pretty intense, and I think most of you can guess why. I haven't forgotten about the deals from Not a Lost Girl, so for those of you wondering what happened to those, I just have not yet found a good moment to mention them._**

**_Thank you lovely, kind readers for everything!_**

**_Chapter 10: What Do I Owe?_**

Silence can be described as many things. People describe the uncomfortable kind of silence as deafening, awkward or loud. But there are few ways to describe pleasant silence and even fewer to describe the unnoticeable kind. Terra Diggs never considered herself to be a poet for these kinds of things. True, she'd read many books that were enchanting, but was always at a loss for writing her own. The only way she could find to describe her current period of silence was imperceptible, probably due to the cantankerous thoughts knocking in her brain. Internally, she was fighting a war, and it was far louder than any silence could ever be.

Peter Pan could see the battlefield through her deep blue irises, though they revealed nothing of the subject or what two forces were combating. He chose to describe the silence more elegantly, being the one better with words and all. His choice of wording was silent progress, the kind that would bring them closer. Perhaps he did have some ideas as to what kind of war was raging. But despite the struggles and the anger boiling in her, he knew in his bones that she would come around. He just hoped she could get over the price that came with this magic.

"My father was an awful man." She spoke robotically, her eyes finally lifting to his and interrupting his thoughts. His eyebrows raised questioningly, a hint of a smirk beginning to play on his features, but as she usually did when she sensed a teasing line or pretentious affection, she hastily continued. She was in no mood for games. "He was terrible. He pulled me away from my home, and never spoke of my mother, not even when I asked. He barely spoke words to me, and usually I had to force him. I always thought, 'what an awful father he is', but still, I fought to the death for him. I was constantly begging for his approval, his attentions, even when I thought I wasn't, I was."

He nodded silently, probing her words and egging her to continue with his eyes. He always did love a story, and he hadn't heard this one before. Well, at least not quite like this.

"But one night, I ran away. I just took off as my feet could take me, and I left him behind." She said with a shrug, her eyes refocusing on the window and the green of the trees. She already hated telling this story, and this was only the first time she'd told it. She wasn't keen on going into a depth of her feelings, especially not with Pan.

"But somewhere," she began with a sigh, "down my path of freedom, I realized something." She scoffed a laugh, as if mocking herself. She looked down and shook her head with a large, bitter-sweet smile. She hated this part most of all, hated that she wasn't a normal kid that could worry about normal things and have a normal dad who took her out to buy sweets or even took her out at all.  
"I'd forgotten to tell him I'm leaving." She said with a chuckle, but quickly composed herself when she realized how this part may be confusing, especially to a boy like Peter Pan. "And the thought may seem stupid to a normal kid running far away to never return, but I knew he might not even know I'd been gone until several weeks later, or when he needed me to fetch him a tool or buy groceries or make a dinner or god knows what. So, I trekked my way back home with my aching feet to tell him I was leaving and I would never return."

"You're quite the vengeful little thing, aren't you?" He mused.

Disregarding his comment and shooting him a look, she spoke the next part. "I got inside and was thoroughly considering waiting until tomorrow, and then I climbed up the stairs to where I knew he'd be, in his workshop at the top floor. But I didn't see him there. He wasn't there. So I called for him, once, twice, as many times as I thought necessary for him to hear. Him not answering wasn't completely out of the ordinary, sometimes when he got really wrapped up in a project or a book or something he wouldn't. It was then that I decided my feet couldn't handle any more walking, and the exhaustion started hitting me hard, so I just went to my room." She swallowed thickly, the memory still quite vivid. She remembered walking down the narrow hall, peeling off her scarf and her boots and her socks. It smelled the same as it always did back then, like damp wood, hints of lavender from the flowers she would make an effort to place around. She swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill and forced herself to continue. This was the only way to tell him without sounding too easy.

"But when I got to my room… He was there. But the setting was just… It was all wrong, and the panic frozen on his face and the cold, pale hue of his skin, I will never forget. That was the last time I ever saw my father." She finished, her voice steadying. Finally, her deep blue ocean waves tore away from the window and focused on his dark green forest eyes, the two of them creating their own kind of mystical island.

"I never really understood what my father did for me, not until he was gone and I had to do it myself. I like to believe that my father was very much like me, he didn't want to work, he never did, but he did it anyway, because we had to pay for our house somehow. He hated sitting up in that tiny room reading just as much as I did. But we had to buy food somehow. He hated that town just as much as me. And something tells me it hurt him more to leave my mother than it did me. He didn't like trying time after time to get something to work, and I doubt he liked selling his ideas once he couldn't try any longer. But he had to buy the dresses that I cast aside and the hair ribbons I tossed out in a blind rage and the blankets that kept me warm at night and the damn flowers I brought every single day because I wanted the house to feel like a home. Because I wanted to pretend my mother put them there. But I was so focused on what I wanted, I forgot to think of what he did."

She sucked in a deep breath, only to sigh it out again once he opened his mouth.

"But Terra, that's what children are supposed to do. They take and don't ask questions. But you don't ever have to feel guilty about doing that here, you can take all you want, have anything your little heart desires." He said, a kind of edge to his words that she paid no mind to.

"That's not the point. Don't change the subject." She spoke irritably, her voice quickly changing from bitter-sweet to intense and angry.

"I'm telling you this because, just this once, I will let go what you just did because I am choosing to believe that what you've just done was not for you, but for me. Perhaps I was not in my right mind for a moment there, and I have the dreamshade to thank for that I guess." She paused, her voice breaking. Her eyes hardened like concrete thinking of what he'd said to her, what he'd done to her. "And I won't try to kill you, and I won't hold a grudge for _this_, but I need you to never speak of it again or I just might. I will let this go and believe that you saved me to give me hope, not to keep me to yourself. But I will not thank you, because you deliberated ignored me for what feels like the thousandth time. And if there's one thing I hate, it's being ignored, disrespected and looked down on. But I suppose what I'm getting at, is while I don't appreciate what you've done at the moment, I may when I make it home and feel safe again."

"I thought you might see it my way." He said with a pretentious smile that made her question everything she'd just said.

If there was one thing that Terra Diggs had taken from her time on the wretched island, it was when to know and when to catch Peter Pan in a lie. When to go along with his game, and when to strike back. Something about the way he spoke his words made her anxious, but perhaps she should not ruin the moment just yet, especially not when buttering him up seemed like a good technique for survival.

"Well, I suppose I-"she started pleasantly, but was cut off a shrill of her name.

Immediately, she hung her head down. She had originally planned to stay an hour or two, hoping fulfill her debt to Pan by spending time at his camp, but that voice sounded like another debt to be paid.

"Sounds like little Baelfire finally found his way to our camp. Let's not miss out on all the action." He said, quickly planting a kiss to her head and heading for the door.

It took her a moment to come out of her stupor, a shade of pink sticking onto her cheeks but played off by an annoyed eye roll. She was caught off guard when his voice returned in a shout, "Oh, and don't forget your clothing!"

Coming to her feet and feeling quite flustered, she frantically shot her head around for her shoes. When she caught sight of them thrown against the wall, she quickly made for the door and followed him down the ladder, throwing on her blood stained green sweater on the way out. She just needed to explain to the familiar figure below that what he'd said was not what it sounded like.

She rolled her eyes when she heard Pan's voice boom loud and smug, just like it always did when things went his way.

"Ah, well if it isn't our little friend Baelfire. To what do we owe the pleasure?"

The angry boy glanced around, catching several pairs of eyes glancing up the girl's dress as she climbed down. Terra, for one, didn't care too much. It usually happened, especially last time she was here, but she could fight them off, after all, they were only boys. And besides, the leather pants she used to wear were far more revealing than her puffy underwear.

_They're the same boys who shot you with an arrow._

Her thoughts commented darkly.

"Let her go." The boy spat grimly.

Pan glanced back at Felix, exchanging smirks amongst each other. Terra had a theory that most of Pan's teasing remarks secretly came from him.

"I don't think you've heard yet, Baelfire, but Terra isn't our prisoner, she's our… Friend." He said tauntingly, earning a loud and frankly outraged chortle from the girl in question. A soft thump came from behind as her feet came in contact with the ground, her usual jump from the last four steps.

"_Not _your prisoner, you say? I'm sorry, I think your lost boys are a little confused then." She commented bitterly.

He gave her a shady smile before continuing with his triumphant rant. "Confused? Never. They just enjoy a good game, they enjoy winning, just like how I want them to be."

He strutted leniently around the area, enjoying every last bit of the drama unfolding. Terra, for one, was not as patient, and spoke urgently as a means to speed up the process. She already knew he was going to let them both go. What would he gain from keeping them?

"Listen Pan," She started, moving to where he was, "I just need one last favor from you." She said sweetly.

"Yeah that's how it starts!" A lost boy shouted, other following in sounds of agreement.

They stopped the moment their leader raised a hand, like a teacher in a classroom of little kids.

"Let me guess." He started, staring at her with glinting eyes, "You want me to let him go."

Terra straightened her posture, the attention she was receiving suddenly making her feel isolated and small. "That's right." She responded firmly.

He chuckled darkly, moving to parade around the proximity again. "How… Predictable." He said tauntingly. "Always coming to the aid of the less fortunate. And you tried to convince me you'd changed."

"Well Peter,' she started, grinning arrogantly as she glanced around at the lost boys, 'I am _eighteen, _and considered an _adult._" She rather enjoyed their faces, their mouths all dropped like dead fish.

"An adult?"

"Peter brought an adult here?"

"He never told us she was a grown up."

They whispered amongst each other, hushed though still within reach of their leader's ears because they were too frightened to ask him head on, but they still wanted to voice their questions.

Peter raised his hand, sending out cold glares to the voices and effectively stopping a fuming Felix striding towards the scene.

"Do you really believe you're an adult, Terra? You still look young to me, especially with that attire." He taunted.

"Well," she scoffed, "What do you expect? There's not exactly a shop for that kind of thing here."

"I think you and I both know that you don't have to wear that." He mocked.

"I..What?" She barked.

"Where'd you get those boots, Terra? They seem quite easy to move in." He started smugly.

She flinched, realizing just what he was getting at. She hated it when he did this publicly. "I… What does this have to do with my attire?" She muttered irritably.

He narrowed his eyes at her, his attitude quickly switching and sending chills down her spine. He began a quick-paced, looming stalk to her position and her arms instinctively rose and her feet unconsciously stepped back several feet. When he had her cornered, he began to speak in a husky voice.

"That outfit makes me want to pull you back up that ladder and take you."

Her eyes amplified quite noticeably, her brows knitting together and her mouth popping open in outrage. In an instant, her alarm was transformed into white rage, her eyes dropping into hard slits and glaring at him.

"What?" she said sinisterly.

A large, self-satisfied smirk touched his eyes. "I said," he began, purposely raising his voice so that the small crowd before them could hear, "'that outfit makes me want to pull you back up that ladder and take you, right here and right now.'"

Several little boys snickered and she felt her cheeks heat up. She didn't have the courage to look poor Baelfire in the eye, and she didn't think she ever could again.

"It seems like no matter what I wear that's what you're thinking, Pan." She growled cynically, though clear frustration laced all her words. She hoped she was more threatening than she felt.

"But I would think you're quite used to men thinking lusty thoughts about you, aren't you? Especially after all those nights in the taverns." He said derisively.

She swallowed thickly, nervously. She'd forgotten he knew that. She so often neglected to remember such important details. She paused briefly to wonder if he was there for those nights, or if he'd only been informed of them. Deep inside she hoped that he wasn't there, she hoped that nobody was there for those unfortunate and desperate days where she coddled grown men for free drinks, for clothes for stupid knick knacks she found useful at the time. She remembered the worse days where they'd offer money, and regrettably, she'd take it. Prices went up, judging stares on the street got worse, the usual stories. In the stories, children living on their own are softened, when the reality is quite harsh. Living isn't free, no matter what your age, especially not under the reign of the Evil Queen.

She must've stayed silent for too long, because he continued his victory speech before she had a chance to plead her case.

"You like having me fawn over you, don't you Terra? You enjoyed my attentions so much that you would prance around in your undergarments to keep them. Well that's quite desperate if you ask me." He taunted, gesturing to her and exchanging glances with the lost boys.

She breathed long, hard breaths, attempting to compose herself knowing that if she attacked him now she'd be shot at again by one of them.

"Well if I had the-" She started heatedly, only to be rudely interrupted by the conductor of the show. He always liked a good game, and he was still enjoying the win.

"Please Terra, if you wanted me that badly all you had to do is ask."

Forgetting herself with her anger overcoming her all at once, she snarled and roughly pushed him with all her strength. He fumbled back, but still continued his laughing with the boys around all the more.

"Perhaps I would have changed if your _little monsters _hadn't so rudely shot an arrow into my back!" She shouted irately.

The lost boys roared with laughter at the nickname. Peter encouraged it, the deep red of her cheeks motivating him to continue.

"But Terra, didn't you have time just now?" He shouted sardonically.

"And what? Leave you with Baelfire?" She spat sarcastically, "Well sorry that he comes before proper attire does, and if we're talking about proper dressing, then you could learn a thing or two yourself."

The boisterous laughing ceased. Pan's face went shady, a dangerous atmosphere replacing the playful one just seconds earlier.

_Oh here we go again. _She thought, internally rolling her eyes. She was no longer afraid of this kind of thing, especially not when he'd made it very clear she wouldn't die.

"If I didn't know better, Terra, I'd think you two have gotten a little closer than I'd like you to." He spoke darkly.

"Well good thing you know better then." She chimed sarcastically.

"You know, I don't think I like you two living together in those caves." He continued, his eyes hooded as they glared into hers. A new battle was quickly replacing the old, and this time, she'd be the winner.

"I don't care what you think."

"Really? Then how come your cheeks got so red earlier?" He mocked.

"I'm not staying here." She said bluntly, skipping the meaningless banter.

"Oh that's fine." He said simply.

She cocked an eyebrow.

"I'll just keep our little friend Baelfire here for safe keeping then." He said tauntingly.

"Like hell you will." She growled. "We're leaving. _Now." _

"Are you sure you want to do that?" He said with a smirk, "Because my lost boys are still up for a good fight. Aren't you boys?" Loud hollers of excitement piled in the air shortly after he'd asked, not that she was surprised.

"You know what? I don't owe you shit." She said spitefully. "If anything, you owe me. You forced me to do something I told you I didn't want, and I told you I would let it go."

"Doesn't sound like you're 'letting go' to me _chimera._" He said condescendingly.

"I will, once you let us go." She replied plainly.

He watched her every move through an intense stare, and though it was sharp and cutting, she did not falter. She owed herself a win today. Dangerous sparks flew between them, a war being fought through their body language. He surprised everyone, including her, when he averted his eyes and breathed a laugh.

"You're quite obstinate." He said playfully.

She held her head high, feeling a sense of satisfaction and pride at what seemed to be his surrender.

"Game well played then?" She suggested.

"I'd expect nothing less from you." He replied, confirming that he was indeed giving her the win. But not with completely pure intentions. After all, it wouldn't be long until a new game started.

"We'll take our leave then." She commented cautiously, eyeing the boys still gripping a stunned Baelfire. All it took was a nod from Peter and their hands released him, though Baelfire stayed on his knees hesitantly until they were several paces away.

Urgently, Terra clutched his arm and clumsily yanked him to his feet.

"Let's get out of here." She said under her breath, just loud enough so he could hear. She pulled him off past the boys, swiftly approaching the trees to get out of the clearing when, just as she thought he might, Peter stopped her with his voice.

"Oh, and Terra?" He called.  
"What?" She snarled.

"Why don't you swing by tonight, come join our little party?" He recommended smugly, though she knew it was more of a demand than a question. She assumed it was her paying off whatever debts she still owed. She'd confused herself and lost track.

She groaned and reluctantly replied, rather sarcastically, "Sure, why not?"

"And Terra?" He said once more.

"Will you stop it already?" She hissed.

"Don't do anything that I wouldn't do." He threatened, his voice threaded with malice.

She froze a half of a second before carefully answering, "Of course."

And they retreated into the forest, her hand still firmly on his arm as she practically sprinted out of the area. Only her first week back in Neverland and she'd already almost died. How many more times would she face death until home was even attainable?

**_A/N: What'd you think? Good, bad? Let me know, I'll try to be persistent with responses to your reviews from now on! . I kind of really wanted to get something out to you guys since last chapter had such a cliff hanger!  
It took me a long time to determine what Terra's reaction would be, and I figured this was good. She's mad, she's not whatever about it, she just doesn't know the price yet so she's assuming he did it because he actually wants her to live…. Poor Terra :( She just can't catch a break. _**

**_Quick note, Terra didn't sleep with men, she wasn't a prostitute, but she did get close sometimes. She wanted to keep her big house and she had to buy food and it was really hard and often it stressed her out and she's still embarrassed about it, which is why when Pan brings it up like an asshole, she lashes out. I felt like that response was appropriate._**

**_(Terra was awful sassy this chapter. I loved her responses! I was giggling in my head somewhere, she is so fun to write sometimes. )_**

**_Any suggestions, notes, comments, corrections, or just random fangirling or whatever I am always open :)_**


	11. Chapter 11: Second Star to the Right

**_AN: Hey guys, I'm trying my best to be quicker! Still, eight days isn't exactly great. I could do better. Expect an update soon! My writers block is passing, but I'm still experiencing some rough patches. This chapter is a little short, I apologize, but I need somewhere to go with the next one so I split it up. I'm trying out new imagery ideas, I don't know if they're too clichéd, but I'm trying! This chapter is really a Terra/Baelfire bonding chapter, and it was kind of fun to write. Anyway, I hope you guys like it! Thank you so much for keeping up!_**

**_Chapter 11: Second Star to the Right_**

Daylight was finally within reach after the long, agony the darkness had brought. A silvery twilight peaked from the edge of the horizon and lit the trees giving them a soft, white glow illusion. It wouldn't be long until the sun was out, and that was the most comforting thought they'd had all day. The breeze was warm, hot even, and it carried the smell of the deep forest with it. The area was mostly quiet, other than the songs of the birds and the pants and soft trudges of the two, exhausted figures.

Terra remembered the birds. She remembered the day she woke up, confused as ever, still very much in Neverland. But these birds were different. They weren't waking her up to a harsh reality, they were putting her back to sleep. They were coaxing her back down to the ground, away from the air where the constant fear of falling was.

Something about the feel of the soft, warm breezes, the songs of the birds, the breath going in and out of her lungs and the whispers shared amongst the trees made her believe that she was safe now. She closed her eyes, letting herself bask in the blessings that morning had to offer.

"What was all that back there?" Baelfire spoke in a frenzied voice, removing his arm from her grip.

This wasn't the first time he'd attempted to speak, only the first time she'd noticed. He'd tired calling her name several times, but she was just so intent on getting as far away as possible that she'd neglected to respond. He stopped trying after a little while when he became away from the shaking in her arms through the grip on his arm. But he decided that now was as good a time as any since she appeared to have calmed down. And besides, he had important things to discuss.

"I got hit with an arrow, by one of the lost boys. " She said, a hard edge to her voice that could only be taken as anger. She had made it quite clear that she hadn't 'let it go' quite yet.

"So, what? He patched you up?" He asked suspiciously. For a girl who'd been shot with an arrow, she seemed perfectly fine.

"Sort of. I was dying. I don't know if you know this, since you spent so much time in those caves, but the lost boys coat their arrows in poison, so when I got hit, the poison started spreading to my heart." She said a little hesitantly, sensing the distrusting tone in his voice.

"If he saved you then why are you so angry with him?" He inquired.

"Well, see this is the tricky part. He brought saved me, but I told him I didn't want to be saved. I'm angry because he disregarded what I asked." She said, growing a little irritated at his sudden guarded attitude.

He scoffed. "You're mad because he didn't do what you said? You're mad because he didn't let you die?"

She hesitated, taking a moment to fully understand just what he was asking.

"I… Well yeah." She stuttered confusedly.

"I don't believe this." He began, pinching the bridge of his nose in distress and annoyance, "Don't you think that's stupid? He saved your life. Do you know how often Pan does that for someone? More importantly, do you know how often he disregards what people tell him to do? I have seen him kill people who told him what to do, and you're mad because he let you live?"

She swallowed nervously, this unexpected confrontation making her feel vulnerable and silly.

"Don't you think this is all a little stupid? Don't you think it's dramatic of you to hate him for saving you when he kills for the fun of it?" He questioned, his voice growing louder as the realizations dug deeper.

"I don't want to be here anymore!" She yelled in frustration, making him flinch with surprise. She breathed heavily, glaring at him hard. "I am mad because I don't want to be here anymore and he made me stay. I'm mad because I know exactly what kind of person he is but I still find myself forgetting all the time. I know he kills for fun which is why I can't stay here because if I do I'll never forgive myself for these feelings that I have. And I should _hate_ him, god how I should hate him. Being mad about this gives me an excuse to not talk to him, and him a reason to leave me alone."

They stared at each other, her face twisted in frustration and his open with shock. Girls often fell hard for Peter, that he knew. He'd seen them come and go, and he remembered a lovely fair-haired girl who became infatuated with him once, but none like this. Eventually, the spells wore off, and they saw him for the man he really was. That was when they'd leave the island, leave Peter Pan and his lost boys behind because god knows there are better boys out there. But Terra Diggs was a weird case. She knew him, knew he killed, knew exactly who he was and yet, she still felt for him.

Her eyes widened, as if awakening from a dream. She tore her gaze away and groaned exasperatedly.

"What?" He asked, a little scared that a lost boy had caught up to them.

"He probably heard all of that." She said bitter-sweetly.

"He…What?" He said.

"Nevermind. Let's get back to the caves, where he can't hear us." She concluded with a sigh.

And those were the last words they exchanged until the caves. But just like she'd predicted, a smug figure had heard the whole conversation and was feeling quite contented with the exchange.

_**Second Star to the Right**_

The sun was past the horizon when they reached the caves, though still hidden by grey clouds. Neverland was usually cloudy, but it was unlikely to see rain. The scene was peaceful with no lost boys in sight and the distant sound of a waterfall. She paused for a moment to look around before following him into the caves.

If you had nothing to hide, the caves were a welcoming place. It was the only place safe from the terrors that Neverland had to offer. The caves were sanctuaries, and for a small price you could stay forever if you desired to do so, just as long as you stay peaceful with the spirits that inhabited it.

"There's something important I need to tell you." Baelfire said almost immediately after stepping foot into the darkness. "Come with me."

He abruptly took hold of her arm and led her into their space, away from the broadness and into their small area. It wasn't exactly home, but it was better than being with Pan.

While he searched for whatever it was he was searching for, she drifted around the small area. She started taking notice of the things she hadn't before, like the markings all over the walls and the constellations sketched into the ceilings.

When she heard his footsteps approaching, she turned to meet him. The odd object in his hands seemed familiar, though it was challenging to place just where she'd seen it.

"Do you remember when I showed you this?" He asked urgently, holding up the coconut shell so it was easier to see.

"I think so. The shadow trap, right?" She replied.

"Yeah, the shadow trap. It's ready." He said eagerly.

"Ready? I don't see much of a difference from last time you showed me it." She said doubtfully.

"Don't you see the star holes? The constellations? It's a map. A map to home. When we capture the shadow, we have to tell it where to go, and I've spent a long time mapping out these stars so we can do just that." He said readily, waving the object in the air to prove his statements.

"We?" She said smiling.

"Yes, we. What, you think I'd leave you here?" He said playfully.

"Well… I had my doubts considering what happened and everything." She grinned.

"I would never leave anyone here. Never. Nobody deserves that." He answered seriously.

They shared looks, both of them suddenly keen with the thoughts of home and things they'd been deprived of since their arrivals on the cursed island. But a new thought crossed the hazel eyed boy as he rejoiced in the ideas of _home. _Just where was his now?

"I…I don't know where my home is." He said dejectedly.

"What do you mean? I'm sure you must've had somewhere. Everyone has somewhere they miss. Isn't that what home is? A place you miss?" She replied encouragingly. She knew what it was like to feel that way. But Baelfire would always have a home with her and her friends, bothers even.

"I.. I once had a place." He said longingly. "It's why I came."

"Then you do have a home. You miss that place, right?" She heartened.

He hesitated, a smile gracing his boyish features that were usually coated in worry. "Yeah, yeah I do miss that place."

"Then it's your home." She concluded for him confidently.

"We're gonna go home." He said blissfully.

"You bet we are." She replied assertively.

And they truly believed those words to be true. But then again, neither knew the effects of the cure, the price that came with that magic, for that was the one thing that Terra had neglected to mention, a magical cure. But had she brought it up, then maybe the disappointment would not have been to piercing, so heart breaking. Because if there was one thing that Baelfire knew better than anyone, it was that magic always came with a price, and the price for life was unfairly and dreadfully steep.

_**Second Star to the Right**_

**_A/N: How'd I do? Another update is on its way! I'm currently writing it. SPOILER, there's going to be a pretty intense fight scene, probably one of the worst we've seen yet, and considering the intense things I've written so far… _**

**_So I'm doing what they did in the show and splitting up the phrase into two chapters. I think I'm very clever some times. _**

**_Review?:)_**


	12. Chapter 12: And Straight On Til' Morning

**A/N: GUYS I AM SO SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW SORRY I AM. THINGS HAVE BEEN SUPER MESSY, SCHOOL STUFF, WEDDINGS, ETC. ETC. Okay, as promised, things are a little dark in this chapter towards the end. Just skim over it if you're not into that stuff. It's not too bloody or anything but it is a little iffy. OKAY SO THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME GUYS. I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH WHAT IT MEANS TO ME. I WROTE THE MAJORITY OF THIS OUT MANNUALLY FIRST BECAUSE MY COMPUTER WAS BEING WEIRD. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter, thanks for all the new follows, reviews and things, it means a lot and inspires me to write better and quicker. LOVE YOU GUYS, THANKS FOR WAITING! Please let me know if anything seems wrong to you, OOC, whatever it is I'm open to new ideas and suggestions and things. I love to talk and meet new people, so if anything is on your mind you can talk to me. **

**OKAY, HERE IT IS (finally):**

**Chapter 12: And Straight On Til' Morning**

Up or down. Left or right. Live or die. Our lives are composed of choices, some easier than others. But it's not the choices that scare us; it's what the choices represent. Our choices are a test of our abilities, our morals, our lives. Our choices ultimately become us. That's why the consequences are there. They ground us; scare us into staying true to ourselves. A world free of consequence is a world full of evil, a world that sounds magical, but truly is a dark place. For what kind of people do we become when we are not afraid to steal, to run, to kill?

Terra sat in the caves, away from Baelfire and in a hidden area so she could do what Peter Pan had 'suggested' earlier. She imagined a pair of black pants, stretchy ones that were simple and easy to move in. She imagined a beige, long-sleeved, soft fabric shirt. She waited until she felt the feel of them in her hands before removing her flimsy under dress and boots. She threw on a fine tailored vest and pushed her hair back with her hands forcefully.

_Maybe next I'll imagine a hair tie…._

She thought irritably, her hair itching her upper back and shoulders. She wished she had cut it long ago, but she kept it as a sign that she was no longer in Neverland. It's what she felt when she woke up from the dreams to ensure that she truly was home. But now that she was back, she wished she hadn't been so foolish.

She sighed and re-tied her boots before heading back to Baelfire to enact their plan. Peter wasn't expecting her at his camp until later that night, so perhaps if she and Baelfire left earlier in the evening… She wasn't one hundred percent sure how they were to catch this shadow, especially not when Peter was never too far behind it.

Water dripped around her, a symphony for her bitter end that she was yet to know. But even so, somewhere in her heart, she knew that she would never be leaving this island. That maybe this very night, she'd end up back in a stuffy cage, away and hidden from the world never to be found again. But maybe that was what she wanted. Maybe she wanted to never see that wretched world again where people constantly made the wrong decisions and constantly yanked her down from her dreams and shaped her like clay into exactly what they wanted to see. Maybe she'd rather be in a cage, prisoner to her 'destined one' than be with _those_ people. She often cast those thoughts away. She had family to take care of.

"What's the plan?" She called to the boy not far in front of her, his brows furrowed in concentration as he struggled to find a quick alternative to make fire. They would need it when they came face to face with the shadow. He glanced back swiftly before returning to his project.

"That I am not so sure of it the moment." He replied distantly.

She raised an eyebrow at his response. They'd been in the caves for hours and he still didn't have a plan?

She wasn't entirely surprised; after all, they'd been busy for the majority of the day. They slept a couple hours, and when they woke she attempted to teach Baelfire what Peter had taught her. He had more difficulty with it than she did. They'd just eaten dinner less than an hour ago.

"Well when will you know?" She asked with an air of displeasure.

"I don't know Terra, these things aren't that easy." He said aggravated. She figured it was directed more at his unsuccessful attempts at a fast fire than her.

"Why don't we bring a torch?" She inquired confusedly.

He sighed and dropped his utensils. "I don't know. Doesn't it seem too obvious?"

"I don't know… How else would we see?" She replied perplexedly.

He rubbed his temples in frustration. "You mean to tell me all that work was for nothing?"

She smiled amusedly. "I wouldn't say ' for nothing', it might come in handy some day. Besides, by the looks of it you didn't get too far."

_New idea for an invention when I get back. _She thought excitedly.

He shot her a glare and she held back a laugh.

He walked past her to sit by their fire and carve a stick, something he'd started earlier to pass the time when he'd woken up before her. She followed him, hoping to redeem herself to teasing him.

After a few moments of silence, she started again.

"So what's _really_ our plan?" She asked light-heartedly.

He scowled at her question. "I told you, I don't know yet."

"Well, then why don't you put down your stick and help me think of one?" She asked bluntly.

He sighed long and hard, pausing for a moment. He glanced at her, a smile creeping onto his face as put down what was in his hands to the cave floor with a clunk.

"Alright," he said, and quickly continued when he saw the anticipation bubble up in her, "But this is a team effort. I know Neverland better than you do."

She nodded firmly and a proud grin thinned his lips as they began devising a plan to escape the wretched island, hopefully for good.

12: **And Straight On Til' Morning**

It was foolproof.

From what they were told from the Neverbirds, apparently there was a place on the island that the shadows claimed. But from what they'd been told, it was anything but an easy task.

_"__It's not just Peter's shadow that occupies that land," Horatius began sternly, "It's all the shadows that were ripped of their bodies, cursed to spend forever on this terrain."_

_"__They're mindless now," Aelius continued, "their only desire is darkness, they want to cause pain."_

_"__It is very likely that Peter Pan's companion is there." Petronia concluded._

The map in her pocket felt heavy. Maybe Peter's shadow wouldn't harm them, but what of the others?

It was evening. The sun was beginning to go back to sleep, when it felt to her like it had only just woke up. The area around them seemed dark, in fact, the closer they got to their destination, the darker it seemed to get. No longer were the woods deep browns and greens, but instead deep grays, blacks and barely noticeable dark greens.

Baelfire paused, motioning for the girl to pass him their torch.

"I think it's about time we light this up. The sun is almost completely gone." He said.

She glanced around, biting her lower lip in an effort to force out the cold that was growing in the air. "This area sure is quite eerie."

"It is home of the shadows." He responded a little bit shaky.

He handed her their candle to hold, preferring to hold the torch with both hands, one to shield it from the winds that might pick up.

She gripped it in her hands tightly, a small anxiousness in her heart growing with the knowledge that they were visible to Pan now. She hugged it close, knowing that if something were to come up, it would be very difficult to rip it from her hold.

"I think we should double-check the map." Baelfire said, glancing around at their surroundings.

_So he noticed it too. _

It was uncharacteristically dark, which was expected since they were traveling to the home of the shadows, but from what the Neverbirds had told them, it should've been taking hours to get there.

She reached into her pocket, slightly pleased that she'd be free of the weight of it. When she felt the crinkle of the paper against her fingers, she carefully slid it out and put it in his hand. Her eyes gave away her concern.

His eyes skimmed over the old paper, making mental checks of where they'd already passed. They halted at a certain point quizzically.

"That's… Not possible." He muttered.

"What?" She questioned uneasily.

"It says… It says we're already here." He said, passing it to her knowing that she'd want to see for herself.

"That's not possible." Her eyebrows creased as she retraced their steps on the map. Once, twice, four times. "This isn't possible," she breathed, folding up the old paper and putting it back in place. "We couldn't have been walking more than an hour and a half. It was supposed to take three!" She said frantically, throwing her arms about the air.

"I know, but it should be just-"He started, doing his very best to calm her down.

"Up those hills and a few paces into the trees." She concluded.

There was a pause. They exchanged glances like conversation.

"Do you think it's a trap?" He asked firmly.

"I-I don't know. Can he even do that? Can he rearrange things like that? Speed time up like that?" She asked nervously.

"It is his island." He concluded.

Her body went rigid. She swallowed thickly and suddenly, everything felt like a threat. The cold wind through the trees no longer sounded so mundane. Instead, it sounded like lost boys hiding away with more poisoned weapons, waiting to pounce with thick, creepy grins on their faces because they'd planned it all along. Every little crack of wood or crunch under their shoes sounded like danger. She clutched the coconut closer, nearly forgetting of its existence in all the terror.

"Maybe… Maybe we just lost track of time." She said shakily, like a child trying to reassure herself that the darkness holds no peril. Had she become such a weak person yet again, after all the talk that she wouldn't be?

"How could we lose track of time when you count every second?" He replied, just as afraid as she. It was a miserable attempt to lighten the mood, he concluded in his head.

Terra let her hand drift into her pocket once more, a weak attempt to see if the map had somehow been hexed.

But she couldn't run back to those caves and risk that it wasn't a trap.

_Now or never._

They exchanged an affirmative gaze like a handshake, because both had lost control of their hands now that death was an alternative.

"Let's go." She said harshly, thrusting herself in front of him because she just wasn't sure who to be angry with anymore.

He shoved the urge to retaliate away and turned to follow.

12: **And Straight On Til' Morning**

She was taken aback.

She knew it would be dark, but not like this.

This was a different kind of darkness. This was the kind of darkness children fear at night, the kind where you can be sure there are monsters lurking even if your eyes can't spot them. This was not the darkness Terra Diggs loved; it was a threatening, consuming darkness where not even the moon had a place.

Gangly, sharp trees surrounded them with shapes similar to thick, stain glass. They marched through them like warriors into battle, carefully treading aside them or removing them from their paths.

They paused when they reached a small clearing, looking around to assure that they'd come to the right place. The wind howled around them, but there was no scratchy response from the leaves in the trees. There were no leaves to converse with.

Without warning, a black fiend flew past them, a piercing wind threatening to put out the torch.

"Bae…" She growled gutturally.

"I got it." He replied in a taut voice.

More figures swiftly appeared, flying past them like a pack of sharks.

"Bae!" She shouted in a panic, her hands shaking as they uncovered the top of their candle.

"I'm right here!" His voice reassured as his arm grazed hers.

Ominous shrills came from the shadows, inviting more to the scene. She shot her eyes around, desperately seeking out the familiar glow that they required.

A new callous wind pushed around them, nearly putting out their torch had it not been for the hand that cradled it.

The shadows screeched in displeasure as the flame lit the trees.

"There!" He called hurriedly, pointing out the recognizable figure.

Baelfire batted the torch at the others, attempting to get the one they needed alone.

They dashed toward the shadow, ducking under the swarm of others surrounding them. But something felt… _Off, _to Terra Diggs.

Nevertheless, she thrust the coconut in front of Baelfire, making instructional nods to him and the wick.

He received the message, pouring the flames onto the dark gold rope. She motioned with her arms for him to speed up, to which he eyed her irritably.

When it was lit, she flung her hand in the air, squeezing her eyes shut tight because she worried it wouldn't work and that it was all indeed a trap. She peaked through her eyelids to see if it was effective.

And, like magic, within a matter of seconds the figure was sucked into the fire like dust into a vacuum.

Peter's shadow must've held dominion over the others, because once it was caught, the others quickly scattered. They laughed breathlessly, glancing between each other and the closed coconut shell that was taking them home.

But still, something felt terribly wrong.

"That seemed-" Terra began, her eyebrows rising confusedly.

"Way too easy." He finished, staring at her like she knew the answers.

They eyed the trees surrounding them cautiously.

"We should.." She started, glancing around once more before moving in to the side of his face, "If we get back to the caves fast enough it won't matter if it was a trap or not." She whispered almost inaudibly in his ear.

He stared at her somberly, swallowing down clumps of fear the side of tennis balls, because if they were indeed being watched, this scenario would seem entirely out of context.

And as if on cue, as soon as she protectively grasped his wrist to take off sprinting, a recognizable tone sliced through them. She'd rather the poison than that tone. That tone meant he was happy, and if he was happy they were attempting to escape, something was gravely wrong.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you." The voice that they feared echoed from the trees.

He glared at the boy, and as if burned, Baelfire immediately ripped his hand away.

She exhaled irritably. _She knew it_.

She could see this conversation going two ways. The first was the way it always went, the sardonic, argumentative way that most likely wouldn't get her very far. But then again, it did entertain him to quite an extent and she already had come up with a snippy response.

_Pan, how many times must I tell you that you're not me?_

Part of her enjoyed their little wars, looked forward to it even.

The second was the pleasant, illusory way that may just earn her an escape route. She chose the ladder. She could be snippy and illusory.

"Peter, to what do I owe the pleasure?" She replied, her voice tight and dripping with sarcasm.

_Too much, _she scolded herself.

It was amusing to him all the same.

He approached her with a smug expression, a smirk mocking her more than his attitude.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to leave me again." He said with an exaggerated pout.

"Me? Never." She said thickly, turning as he did, like a personal showdown of who would crack and tell the truth first.

"Then would you mind telling me in that ridiculous coconut over there?" He inquired, though they both knew that it was only a game. He already knew.

"Nothing yet." She said edgily, "And maybe if you leave now, nothing ever."

"Was that an order?" He chortled.

Her jaw clenched as she stared at his eyes hard. "You saved my life, Peter, and I'm grateful for that, but I'm not staying here anymore and neither is Baelfire."

He _tsked_ softly as he paraded around the area, and she noted that still, none of the shadows were even daring to make an appearance. Even the shadows, whose only desire was to cause pain, were petrified of Peter Pan.

"But I've told you. Nobody gets off this island without my permission, and you…" He paused, glancing up and down at her suggestively, "I'm afraid I just can't let you leave."

She forced herself not to blush, because _god _how inappropriate that would be. Instead, she let loose the argument stirring inside her. _So much for illusory and somewhat pleasant.._

"Well I don't need your permission. And besides, I don't think you really control this island. The shadow does. And he's taking us home."

"Does he?" He replied quickly, teasingly.

She wavered.

"Tell me, Terra, do you really think my shadow would go down without fighting like that?"

She stuttered, trying to find words but there were none. He was right. She should've known better.

"I mean, it didn't even try to fly away, surely you noticed that." He chaffed derisively.

"So what? It helped me last time!" She barked.

"Did it? I wouldn't call it help. Seems to me it got the better end of the bargain. What's he getting this time?" He scolded mockingly.

That was true. This time she wasn't bargaining anything, she was stealing. Since it was clear he knew what was going on, she found new questions to ask. She needed to know just what purpose this conversation held.

"Why not just stop us earlier? Why wait until now?" She questioned guardedly.

He sighed in mock contemplation. "Well, I guess it was all for the fun of the game really."

"So what? You cured me to keep me here forever?" She snarled, nearly lunging forward to grasp his throat.

He chuckled irreverently. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I haven't gotten to that part yet."

She watched him suspiciously, inching towards him in a questioning manner, though he seemed especially thrilled.

"What do you mean?" She said skeptically.

"Come on Terra, surely you must have some idea." He teased.

"What?" She growled.

He paraded around, their ignorance building his stage. Truthfully, he hadn't intended for her to find out this way. But she dug her own grave.

"You received a magical cure that allowed you to escape death, and you aren't the least bit doubtful?" He mocked.

"Magic?" Baelfire shouts, outraged, "He gave you magic?"

"Yes but I don't-" She started in a troubled voice.

"Don't you see? All magic comes with a price! You cheated death with some kind of cure and you just decided to skip over that detail?" He hollered at her.

"So what? I should've died? I wanted to, I didn't want that cure, and I was forced into it! Don't you dare try to put this on me." She said in a low, ominous voice. She knew she shouldn't be mad at Baelfire. It wasn't his fault. She turned to channel all her anger onto the smug figure that couldn't be more pleased with himself over the show.

"You tricked me?" She said, sounding a lot more quiet and hurt than she'd intended. It sounded far more intimidating in her head, but she couldn't help it.

"I wouldn't say that," he snorted, "Think of it as a safety precaution."

"A safety precaution?" She echoed, her voice yet again betraying her and coming out a little shakier than she planned. She almost wished she didn't have a voice again.

"See it's not the cure that ensures the safety… It's the price." He said, still holding up his pleased attitude despite her crumbling one.

"I.. Explain yourself!" She screamed, pulling out a sword to hide her hurt. She put her head down, but only for a moment so that the hair behind her ears would come loose and block away her tears.

_No. You are strong now, Terra Diggs, you don't deteriorate for him like this anymore!_

But still, despite the heartening words she told herself, she still hid away behind her curtain of ashy hair. It would be much harder to look him in the eyes than to give up.

Baelfire couldn't believe his eyes. Until now, he'd only seen certain kinds of faces from Terra Diggs. He'd seen her as a laughing, teasing girl that almost seemed normal were it not so quickly changed to a strong, motivating woman who could reignite fire in hearts long fallen cold.

But in rare cases, he would see a small girl, so scared and unprepared for the future, a girl that only Peter Pan could bring out.

But now, he was seeing her as a girl who would hide away and cry because god knows she couldn't face anything yet. Not by herself. This girl felt alone and for a lack of a better word, _lost. _

Perhaps now he understood just how she got here in the first place, why she belonged here and drew people close to her so quickly.

"That cure was filled with magic from the very heart of Neverland, and that same magic," he paused, invading her person space until he could feel her breath on his lips, "is what's keeping that pretty little heart of yours beating."

"Which means that-" She started, simply horrified, but he couldn't let her have all the fun. This was his win, not hers.

"The magic is connected to Neverland, meaning that if you so much as step foot off of Neverland, that nasty poison will travel straight to your heart and kill you faster than you can say pixie dust." He said in a low, baleful voice.

Her face dropped, but she couldn't cry in front of him, so she just stood there, her head hung and her hair shading her face. She understood now. And she regretted it. How foolish of her to believe he'd actually do something for her.

A rustle in the trees made her freeze and her body go stiff. She now had probable cause to believe it wasn't her imagination, but lost boys waiting to attack. The look on Pan's face backed up that theory.

"BAELFIRE RUN!" She screamed, pushing him back with all her strength and lunging into Pan.

They clashed painfully, falling onto the ground with her head in his chest and his knee colliding with her thy. She quickly adjusted herself on the ground, both her hands gripping his wrists above his head and straddling his upper waist.

She knew he could have the upper hand with his magic, but all she needed was to stagger the lost boys long enough and get them to refocus on her.

"And here I thought you'd be running full pace away." He smirked.

"Oh save it Pan!" She snarled.

"Poor, naïve little Terra. Always playing the martyr." He tsked softly.

Before she could growl or give a hateful response, she was ripper from him, boys gathering around like the shadows earlier.

But god forbid she wasn't going back in that cage.

She wrenched herself from their grips, kicking and gauging herself until half her body was free. She picked up her sword at a rapid momentum, clutching it tightly and beginning to sprint away.

But it was no longer enough.

There were far more lost boys than she was used to. Her arm was yanked back and hands quickly dove and grabbed at her legs. Her ears were now clogged with horrid sounds that seemed much louder than they were. The yells in the air were distorted, beastly yowls and shrills of excitement. She was unable to pinpoint the sources of the noise, the ear piercing shrieks that just never stopped.

Once more she attempted to pry herself from their iron grasps, but only managed to release a few hands. The noises grew louder; the lost boys' creepy grins grew larger.

She took a step, swiftly looking around for the hands before readjusting her eyes ahead. She felt no hands and took three more speedy paces. But when she felt another hand, she could just no longer take the noise, the bruises forming on her arms. So she did what instinct told her to.

She drew her sword back, and rammed it right into the boy's stomach. Time seemed to slow for the next few moments. The look on his face stopped the screams. The very same look that said it all. It was horror and shock, and that was to be expected, but in his glassy eyes, she watched as a small, very dim glimmer of hope snuff out like a flame smothered by wax.

It was then that she realized it, and time sped up to its normal velocity again. The world fell onto her like crushing weights on her soul. The screams, the shrieks, all the noise, they were hers.

She pulled the silver blade out slowly, horrified like it was she that had been stabbed.

And, just like she'd longed for, it was all silence except for the small thud of the nameless boy's body.

**_OKAY I'M SO SORRY IT'S SO LATE. I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON YOU ALL HAVE PERMISSION TO HARM ME. I HAVE NO MORE WRITER'S BLOCK. I AM COMPLETELY CURED._**

**I'm super happy with how this chapter turned out. Everything that wasn't answered should be cleared up next chapter WHICH I PROMISE WILL BE SOON.**


	13. Chapter 13: Icarus

**_A/N: Hey guys! This chapter is a little short. If you plan on skipping this author's note, go right ahead, I often do the same, but please skim over it because I'm sure some of you are confused and this might clear up your questions._**

**_Firstly_****_, NOTE THE CHANGE IN THE SUMMARY. _****THIS IS A SEQUEL****_. _**

**_Sorry if that came out a little rude, but I just wanted to get my point across._**

**Secondly****_, I understand some of you are busy people and just don't have the time to read a whole 21 chapters. _****If you'd like more information on a certain part or something like that, I can send that specific part to you or I can just explain it properly. Please let me know.********_I am not an intimidating person, and I'm actually pretty friendly about this sort of thing._**

**_Okay, so on a different note, (this part you can skip if you really want) today when I was re-watching OUAT, I realized Bae was in Neverland far longer than I put in here. I apologize. I fixed that in this chapter. _**

**_One more thing:_********_I originally intended for this chapter to be split up different, but last night I had a thought that I could just mix it up. It's a change for me, but I thought it was creative. I'm sorry if it was hard to understand for you, _****I italicized Terra's thoughts****_. _****I also made it pretty clear which parts were tampered with in her dream. Obviously Pan didn't grab her, or she would not have made it to the caves.**

**_OKAY, done._**

**_As always, I appreciate reviews; they help me navigate my writing and I can clear things up for you, like today._**

**_Thanks for the new follows!_**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Icarus**

_Her breath came out in shallow puffs into the chilled night as her feet pounded against the dirt. She didn't look back, it was far too risky and would only slow her down. She swore she heard feet tromping after her, but she couldn't be sure if it was only her mind playing tricks on her. Either way, it kept her feet moving at full speed._

"We're trying." Felix all but growled. This was the tenth time he'd been scolded for failing to capture the girl.

_She cut through trees, violently throwing them out of her way and hoping they'd hit whoever she was positive was trailing behind her._

"Clearly not hard enough." Pan said forebodingly_. _

"Our windows of opportunity are short." Felix countered. He was growing frustrated with this chase he had them on. He knew Peter Pan never failed, but that didn't mean they weren't losing right now.

_Just as soon as she'd spotted her safe haven, a familiar arm wrapped around her neck and yanked her back. Her destined lover breathed on her neck in a threatening manner._

"They may be short, but they're there." He replied, his hooded eyes glinting with the reflection of the flames present. Lost boys jumped around it, hooting and throwing their arms up under the stars.

"I'm aware. But as always, she's being especially difficult, and with those Neverbirds aiding her it's impossible to seek her out in the caves, which means our only chance is the short periods where she comes out for air."Felix said, his words choked with aggravation.

_"__There's my little killer." He whispered into her ear._

_"__I'm not a killer. It was self defense!" She argued, fiercely digging her elbows into his sides though it did nothing._

_"__You belong here, Terra. You're a killer… Just like me." He breathed, placing a kiss under her jaw._

"Then be there, Felix. She's been in there far too long and the lost boys are beginning to doubt me, and the last thing I need is to lose another one." He said darkly.

"Pan." A lost boy called to him a little anxiously since he had just interrupted what appeared to be a heavy conversation. When he was sure the coast was clear, he continued more confidently, "It's ready."

"Excellent." He grinned deviously. "I knew I could count on you."

_Lost boys poured in like a flood, their dark eyes luminous with ugly intentions._

_The sky swirled above her in hues of purple; it swallowed up all the stars and the moon like a black hole. She was sure it would not be long until it was sucking her in and carrying her off into oblivion. _

_She glanced around, shuddering at the ravenous grins on their faces, their teeth caked in what appeared to be a pasty red blood. _

_She attempted to scream, to call for an invisible force to save her, but she found that her voice was missing yet again, and she was completely helpless with not even a sword to protect herself._

When the lost boy had gone, feeling quite proud of himself, Pan and Felix exchanged glances.

"You'll be there, Felix, and when she does make an appearance, we'll be ready for her."

**(A/N: The italics were a dream sequence. I'm sorry if any of you got confused. The regular writing is Pan at his camp last night talking to Felix. Anyway, back to Terra!)**

Terra shot up out of her lumpy makeshift bed, her hair sticking to her forehead. Her heart thrummed in her chest and she worried that she couldn't breathe.

_Stop._

_Breathe._

_Look around._

_It was only a dream._

That had become her routine every time she awoke from a nightmare. Often her flashbacks were distorted these days. She assumed Neverland took pride in driving her completely mad.

She pulled herself out of her scratchy green blanket and put her feet on the cold cave floor. The stick in the ground that served as a clock told her it was nearly half passed five in the morning. It was earlier than she'd have liked but she knew she was not going to be able to fall back asleep. She'd tried it several other times before but it never worked. Once she was up, she was up.

5 hours and 12 minutes of sleep.

312 minutes of sleep.

18720 seconds of sleep.

She returned to her counting habits. They gave her something to do and, in a land that was timeless, she felt like she was rebelling. She changed into a new pair of clothes and walked down to where she knew there would be water to wash her face.

Her leather pants and rubber boots squeaked with the movements, creating sound in a silent atmosphere.

The trick that Pet—Pan, she corrected herself, had come in very handy in her life inside of the caves. She had no need to go outside anymore.

But that didn't stop her from doing it anyway.

She felt like if she stayed in the dark, silent caves all day it would increase her chances of becoming completely insane, so occasionally, when she thought the time was right, she'd step out into the musky forest air and sit on the grass for a few minutes.

She splashed cool water on her face, flinching just a little at the chill. She was most definitely awake now.

She frequently thought of the tale of Icarus these past few days. She was always paranoid outside of the caves and keeping the said iconic tale in mind.

She worried that she, like Icarus, was flying far too close to the sun. Going out nearly every morning and night, and sometimes even sitting in the grass to gaze at the stars. She was beginning to cut it quite close, and if she wasn't careful her fate would be worse than falling to her death.

But at the same time she couldn't help it. The stars reminded were beautiful, and they often reminded her of Baelfire. She tried to navigate them the same as he had, but she hadn't had much experience with the stars. The books she read on them were quite foggy, since it'd been half a year since she even picked up a book.

Baelfire was gone now. The Neverbirds told her that they felt him go. But she didn't mind. She was just happy that he finally escaped. She also learned that he had lied to her.

He was there far longer than a decade or two. He was there for at least a century.

Sometimes she'd stare up at the night sky and wonder if he made it to the place that he called home. She prayed that he did. He deserved a happy ending after all the torturous years he'd spent here.

Ignoring the paranoia, she hastily walked to the mouth of the cave. It was early morning, she convinced herself, there would be no lost boys out right now.

She carefully stepped out into the orange sunrise, the warm air flowing through her hair and pushing a graceful smile onto her face. No, she didn't need to come out, but the feel of the air and the smell of the morning made her feel beautiful, and more human than any cave could.

Birds chirped above her, peacefully luring the sun into the sky. Time was frozen in a perfect moment.

She was always a morning person, but Neverland robbed her of that, night being its pride and joy.

The tranquility and exquisiteness that comes with the sun first touching the land at the start of the day was something that the night had no chance of imitating.

Still, she worried she was becoming much like Icarus. One month, two weeks, 36 hours and 3 minutes she'd been living in the caves and the brief trips outside were becoming more and more frequent.

_Today is the last day_, she vowed, though speculating if perhaps Icarus had said 'just a little closer' before his wings melted and he plummeted to the earth.

She sighed and threw her arms out like she herself had grown wings.

_If only…_

She thought wistfully, closing her eyes and feeling the sun on her skin.

_Snap._

She froze. Last time she heard a noise it was only just a forest animal. She wondered if her paranoia was getting the better of her again.

She began to fall back into the cave, just to be safe, but not before a pricking feeling claimed her neck.

She moved her hand to the spot, but instead of skin, her fingers came into contact with an offending dart-like structure.

Before she could hope to pull it out, she was falling to the ground rapidly.

_I guess I flew too close to the sun._

* * *

_Review? ;)_

_Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine except for Terra, who is sometimes a very stupid girl. _


	14. Chapter 14 Trapped by Reality

**Good evening, children. I MISS MY REVIEWERS! Guys, I don't wanna beg but, it'll definitely inspire me to write faster if I get some more feedback. So this chapter came out pretty well, I kind of like it, I know it's a little quick-paced, but we have things to get to. I feel so bad for Terra, she's such a poor confused little girl. But Felix is like an older brother in this chapter, and call him OOC if you will, but I think since we don't know his back story, he can sympathize. Felix doesn't seem like the boy who would just willingly submit to Pan the second he meets him. **

Chapter 14; Trapped by Reality, Freed by Imagination

Howls of excitement pierced through the warm morning air, disturbing the calm that had been moments before. Even in an unconscious state she was thoroughly disappointed; after all, it was rarely sunny in Neverland.

"Bring the cage." Felix ordered robotically, though a proud smirk was quite clear in his features.

Hearing their command, three lost boys carried over the said cage with triumph, like winners a trophy. Quite unceremoniously, they plopped it to the ground, eager to get a hold of the prize.

Felix approached her unconscious body with caution. Since she'd done serious damage to him once or twice, he was taking no chances. Still, he couldn't help but feel a small twinge of sympathy for the ashen-haired girl. She only desired freedom, much like he had once. He took time to notice features on her that he hadn't before, now that it was safe to.

Even closed, he still had a very clear image of her eyes. He recalled them looking similar to blue fire, burning his own and intimidating him more than any other girl he ever would dream to know. But he also had seen them deep and stormy, like a vast and bleak ocean that you wouldn't dare draw near without feeling hopeless yourself.

She'd grown thinner since he'd last seen her, but he knew better than to buy into her scrawny appearance. If it had taught him nothing else, Neverland had taught him that.

Her hair was longer, longer than when she first got back. If he dared to look close enough, he could've sworn he'd seen remnants of her colorful dyes. It was approaching her chest in length, but it still parted to the side to cover her eyes and shield her opponents from her emotions.

Ignoring strange stares from the boys, he called an order.

"Put her in it. Pan is waiting for us."

They grinned surreptitiously, rudely yanked the girl to her feet and threw her into the cage, like garbage into a can.

They quickly earned themselves a shove from Felix.

"You heard Pan, no harm is to come to her." He hissed disapprovingly.

One of them smirked, raising his eyebrows questioningly at his behavior. "Hey, accidents happen."  
Felix stalked towards the boy, his heavy club over his shoulder suddenly looking all the more threatening. "Well that _accident _just might cost you your life if Pan happens to hear of it. I'd watch myself if I were you, boy." He said darkly, his emerald eyes hooded and sinister.

The boy gulped and fell back into place as they marched back to Pan.

The rest of the trip was silent, some praying that their mistake would not be noticed, others guilty, and one desperately trying to remain neutral.

* * *

It was quiet all through the camp as the boys carried in their long desired captive. Nobody said a word, sensing the tense atmosphere. One had to pick up on these things after centuries of seeing people die for not.

"Is that her?" One whispered.

"Who else would it be?" Whispered another.

And as usual, their leader emerged right on time.

"I knew you'd get her." He said smugly.

"Peter Pan never fails." Felix replied.

They carried her over to him, placing her down in front of him. They stepped back as Peter grew close, but Felix stayed in place to answer any questions.

"We drugged her." Felix said, satisfaction returning to his attitude and lighting a smirk onto his face. If Peter Pan was proud, then he too would be proud.

"Excellent. Stunning job as usual Felix." Pan replied, clapping a hand onto his faithful lost boy's shoulder.

"Should we put her with the other one?" Felix inquired.

"No. Why don't you put her near the edge of the forest, I wouldn't want her mingling with our other guest too soon." He replied devilishly. He liked action, and there would be plenty of it tonight.

Felix read him like some kind of book, and mirrored his grin. He motioned to the boys and began to saunter off, his shoulders squared up and lost boys trailing behind him with the girl.

He was relieved, to say the least, that she wouldn't be where the other boys could harm her. Him and Pan both knew they'd try it, especially after she drove a sword through one of their own. But Felix knew better than to buy into that false loyalty. He could see it on their features. They weren't mourning the loss of a team mate, nor avenging a fallen brother, they just wanted someone to be angry at, someone to blame, and it was far easier to blame her than Peter Pan.

He did wish that she didn't have to be hidden, stored away and caged like some kind of animal. To be honest, she never really did anything too offensive. She only did what everyone else did, look out for herself. He could sympathize with that, and he wanted her to get used to Neverland like he had, because small parts of him wanted her to be happy like he had been shortly after he met Peter Pan. Still, his loyalty was with Pan, and it was Pan's order that she be put behind bars, not his. So he didn't care whenever she started tossing and turning through her oblivion, he didn't care when she quietly begged for freedom.

He didn't.

Not one bit.

_**-XXX-**_

_The sun melted down to the earth, pooling a sticky deep red substance around her and dying everything in contact the same color._

_She tried to get up and run, but she couldn't; she was stuck in place and she couldn't figure out why._

_Figures loomed above her, jagged knives laced in a black, tar-like dreamshade that oozed off their weapons and onto her skin. _

She screamed herself awake, her lungs hoarse and dry like sandpaper as she bolted upright.

She took in gasps of air and her hand hugged her chest in a lame attempt to stop the quick paced beating. She sat like that for what felt like eternities, waiting for the immediate feeling of danger to pass, to protect her heart from whatever foe could still be lurking in her terror, to forget the dream.

She moved to fall back onto her lumpy makeshift bed, reaching for invisible blankets upon feeling a chill. She groaned when her head hit the cold, hard floor. And where was that damn blanket?

There was a pause.

She froze halfway through a motion, her body sitting at an awkward angle and her too tense to move.

Her eyes flew open as memories from that morning came crashing back. She held her head in her hands, trying to get her breathing back in control. Unconsciously her hand shot down to feel at her neck, though she was not quite sure why, perhaps she was looking for some kind of evidence, but there was none.

Her eyes glared daggers at the lanky branch-like bars restricting pieces of her vision, as if she could blame them for her problems, for how stupid she'd been.

"No." She whispered, though it was strained with her dried throat.

She pulled at the bars, yanking on them as if she could pull them apart somehow. Her arms flew back and forth in a rocking motion, and she looked totally and completely insane. It was useless.

_At least you're on the ground this time, a_ weak voice in her head offered when she noticed that all the jolting around didn't make a sound in the trees.

She had been reckless, foolish, and simply naïve. She was safe in those caves, she was okay, and she could've lived there peacefully. But it wasn't enough for her. Nothing ever was. She was always wanting more, rather than being happy with what she had. _How very ungrateful._

But somewhere inside her, she knew why she went outside of those caves so often. She knew why she left her safe haven, why she had acted so dense. It was all for him. And yes, it was dumb, it was beyond idiotic, but she couldn't help missing those beautiful green eyes and that infuriating little smirk that only his lips could wear so well. She missed his mocking attitude and the games they'd play. And she _hated _herself for it. Especially because, all that time in those caves left her to think, just like Baelfire told her he often did, and all she thought about was _him. _She wondered if it wasn't him, but her who was so irritating. It was her who kept pushing him away all the time, never giving him a chance.

_He killed your husband._

But he wasn't her husband, not yet anyway, and maybe he was saving her in some, sick twisted way. She didn't love him. She would've been bored to death, and eventually, like she had in the caves, she would've wanted more.

_He lied to you so many times._

But what was he supposed to do? Tell her his life story?

_He locks you up, all the time._

But it's her that locks herself up, she picks the fights with him.

_He lets the lost boys beat on you._

But she could handle herself. He knew that, didn't he?

_You're delusional. What about what he does to other people? Can you forget that too?_

Her back ached against the cold, metal bars and she felt so weak, so completely stupid and _confused._ She wanted to have fun, she did, but she wanted it to be real fun, not the kind of fun Peter Pan liked. She wanted to be free and have fun but forgetting the horrible things he did was not the way to do it. Was it?

She wanted to cry. Everything had been so clear, so peaceful in the caves and now she was back to being a weak, confused little girl. She almost wept until her eyes burned, but she'd grown acute to intuition in the cages, at least, that's what she did last time. She could feel the eyes on her, just like she could before. But she didn't want to look. Not when she already knew whose eyes they were.

_Of course he'd be here._

Not this time. She didn't want to see his face when she'd so desperately tried to forget it. She didn't want those feelings she repressed and threw away to come hurtling back with just a single look into those forest green eyes that she knew so well. The same ones that haunted her dreams when she went to sleep at night. She didn't want to be even more reckless and stupid, she wanted everything to go back to the way it was.

He moved to her, crouching down next to her cage and peering into it. She heard him come, though made no effort to meet him, or even look at him for that matter.

She wiped whatever water may have been in her eyes on her sleeve, playing off her sniffling as a cough or a sigh.

"Come to gloat?" She said gruffly, praying to the heavens above that he didn't ask her if she'd been crying or something along those lines.

"Gloat? Me? Never." He said, a teasing sarcasm to his tone.

She snorted, keeping her head on her knees and her hands firmly on her ankles. The last thing she needed was to see his eyes, glinting with that child-like amusement.

He let go of the bars he'd been holding onto, pacing around her cage like he always did when he'd won something. "You know, I really must hand it to you Terra, you played this game remarkably well. I almost thought you'd win there for a second."

Her nails dug into the flesh at her feet as she struggled to stay in her current ball-like position. She wanted to look at him, to say something cheeky, to play their usual taunting games that she'd missed.

"But, it's like I always say, Peter Pan never fails." He grinned.

She flinched when he suddenly slammed down on the bars, staring at her intensely, waiting for an answer. She gave him none.

"What's wrong, Terra? Are you not happy to see me?"He said, an icy kind of edge to his voice. He continued to gaze at her, his eyes traveling around her form and tracing the shape of her face. He sighed dramatically when she continued to ignore him.

"I brought you a present." He said, the conversation feeling one-sided and hoping to finally get her attention.

"I don't want it." She said without hesitation. She learned her lesson last time, and she would never take a gift from Peter Pan again.

"Surely you don't mean that, after all, I got this especially for you." He continued, a smile forming because she'd finally said something to him.

"Whatever you have I can get myself." She answered nonchalantly, closing her eyes and dreaming of a tall, cool glass of water. She wanted to show him that she could do what he did. But not to impress him, no, that'd be preposterous. When she felt precipitation materialize in her hand, she held back a smile lifting the corners of her mouth and immediately pulled the chilled glass to her lips and started guzzling it down.

He was oddly proud of her adaptation to Neverland, and chuckled a bit as she self-righteously topped the whole drink off.

"Oh I doubt you'll be able to acquire this gift without my help." He whispered in her direction, the item firmly wrapped in his fingers where she couldn't see.

"If I don't take it," she began tauntingly, "Are you going to force it down my throat?"

"Oh I doubt you'll be able to swallow this, unless by some miracle you were a member of the circus." He replied with a smirk, pleased that they were falling back into their old habits quite quickly.

"I didn't say I'd swallow it willingly," She began, "I asked you if you were going to force it down my throat." She finished with a little more spite than she'd intended.

He heaved a large mocking sigh, "Fine, if you don't want it, then I guess I'll just keep it for myself. Such a pity," He said holding up the crooked knife, "It even has your name on it."

Her eyes unconsciously flew to the item, swiftly passing over his face. Her breath hitched.

"See I thought you might feel that way." He mocked.

"Where… Where did you get that?" She demanded, her eyes never leaving the familiar hand-crafted knife from a familiar blacksmith. _Curly, _she choked on emotion clogging in her throat.

"I think you already know the answer to that, Terra, it is an original piece." He taunted.

She flinched, realization pulling her out of her wistful thoughts of home. If he had that, then he'd had to have gone to the house, _their _house. And if he was at their house, she doubted it was anything good.

"Where are they?" She demanded, finally feeling no confusion in meeting his eyes. It still didn't stop them from widening a bit.

"They're fine…." He began casually, waiting for her to visibly relax before he continued, "For now."

She quickly jumped at those words, lunging at the bars in his direction.

"And they'll stay fine, if you cooperate." He finished seriously, vague hints of false compassion.

"I want to see them." She barked.

"There's the _chimera _I know." He answered condescendingly.

"I WANT TO SEE THEM!" She screamed, her hands shaking slightly.

"Why the attitude Terra? Have those nightmares still got you wound up? You should be nicer to me, after all, I've got your precious little crew of lost boys." He said haughtily, smirking at the way her shoulders tensed when he mentioned the nightmares.

"Just. Let. Me. _See_ .Them." She spoke through gritted teeth.

"Now why would I do that when I've got them just where I want them?" He said sullenly, his eyes cloudy with malice. It was her own fault this happened; she was the one who ran away from him. She was the one who tried to leave _again. _

"I don't think you have them at all. It's not that hard to break into houses, Peter, I know that better than anyone, and I'm sure it's especially easy for someone who has an evil shadow to do their bidding." She said disdainfully, her knuckles white from clutching the iron bars so tightly.

"Are you sure you wanna take that risk?" He inquired in a low voice.

She shrank back. She didn't want to take that risk, but she also didn't want him to win. Not again. But she couldn't find her way out of this, this time there wasn't a loophole, an escape route. She was caged, quite literally, and her only option was to comply this time.

"What do you want?" She inquired in a murmur, wondering how she could ever think Peter Pan was not as bad as she thought. How could she possibly have confused herself? It must've been those caves, driving her completely mad.

"Well right now, I'd like you to come back to camp with me." He said softly, shifting to unlock her cage, "And I think this time you'll know better not to make a run for it."

The lock came undone with a click, but she stayed in place, guarded and less than eager to face the demons.

He held out his hand, a gentlemanly offer to make up for the horrors that'd just escaped his mouth. It still made her breath catch in her throat and her heart beat a little faster. Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his with a heavy heart.

Her limbs felt tired, and her back ached for reasons she couldn't quite recall. She assumed from the fall. The sky was dark, but lit with heavenly stars like it usually was. The glow of the full moon illuminated the clouds, and she looked over the edge of cliff they placed her near to see it's reflection in the water.

She vaguely heard him say something, but she went back to ignoring him and motioned for him to walk through the treacherous woods first.

When she was sure he wasn't looking back, she soundlessly let the despair she felt fall past her eyes and drip down her cheek.

She was in love with a monster.

_**-XXX-**_

"They're blue!" A boy roared in amusement.

Boisterous laughter yanking Terra out of her head and made her hastily rub away her tears.

"Blue?" A boy shrieked.

"Not pink?" One asked, a little boy by the sound of it.

"But she's a girl!" Another one shouted.

"No! Please!" A female voice screamed.

Terra and Pan trudged through the thick forest, over-hearing the exchange upon approaching.

Terra gaped at the sight.

A soft, feminine figure twisted frantically, desperately trying to escape the circle of boys pulling at her dress. Her hair was beautiful, a vibrant shade of caramel. Everything about her was lovely, and Terra pushed away a pang of jealousy as her jaw clenched at the barbaric behavior.

The sight enraged her.

Without hesitation, she reached her hand down and pulled the crooked knife in Pan's belt loose before marching towards them, irritation flaring up more and more by the second and crinkling her nose.

She pushed to the middle and planted a hard slap to the ringleader's face, the sound cutting through the air and silencing the bystanders. She stood in front of the girl, pointing the blunt, poorly constructed knife around and successfully driving the crowd of boys away.

"How _dare _you treat a lady in such a disgusting manner." She snarled at their dumbfounded faces.

The instigator of the crime strode toward her menacingly, but she met him for every step, pressing the knife to his throat. He was about to snicker, but when his eyes made contact with her face it got stuck in his throat. Without averting her piercing gaze, she spat ominously, "The next one of you that goes near her ends up just like the last one that dared to pick a fight with me." She released the boy's shirt, throwing him to the ground.

"Understand?" She barked to the rest of them, shooting glares around her.

She took their terrified silence as agreement and walked over to the poor girl. Terra leaned down to dust off the sweet girl's nightdress before pushing stray curls out of her tear-stricken face.

"Are you alright?" She inquired gently.

"Quite," she sniffled, "Thanks to you."

"My name's Terra." She said, putting a hand out to shake hers.

"Wendy, Wendy Darling." She confirmed, meeting her friendly gesture in kind.

"Well, I'm sorry that happened to you Wendy." She said sympathetically.

"It's alright." She replied with a shaky shrug, "But do you happen to have a tissue?"

"I-" She began, but Pan stepped in, a phony concern plastered on his face like a silicone mask as he engulfed Wendy in a tight hug.

"Wendy," He breathed like a worried parent, making Terra raise an eyebrow at his performance, "I sincerely apologize for the boys' behavior, please, let me know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you."

Terra was too caught up to decide if his emotions were fake.

* * *

**Heyyy, you guys should totes ****review for me.**

**Or I'll find you.**

**LOL jk.**

**Or am i?**


	15. Chapter 15 Wendy Bird

**A/N: Hey friends! Welcome to another exciting episode of There is No Escaping Neverland!**

**Felix is too cute in this chapter. They have this weird relationship where he can relate to her, but she never knows what he's thinking. Felix is very loyal to Pan, and I doubt I'll ever get to go into detail because it's hardly my story to tell and I kind of like the element of mystery to it. I wonder if it was too rushed though. I wonder if all my plot is too rushed... **

**Anyway, ONTO THE STORY!  
P.S, Pan is a shit.**

* * *

Practically flabbergasted, she stared at the pair with wide eyes until her senses made a reappearance. Unfortunately for her, Peter had skillfully managed to hide the confusion on Wendy's features.

"Is there a reason I'm here?" She said, surprising herself with the bite in her voice. She was emotionally exhausted already. She just wanted to go home, to see her boys.

_To stop loving Peter Pan._

"Of course." Felix drawled as Pan released Wendy from his strong hold on her. "We're having a party."

Terra scowled. "I was dragged here for a party?"

"Oh this isn't just any party," Pan began, a devilish glint in his eyes, "It's a celebration, for your official enjoinment of our family."

"I'd rather be in that cage." She growled, unconsciously raising the basically useless metal with her name on it.

He smirked, closing in her quickly and leaving Wendy behind, who flinched at his tone. She knew it well, and she'd grown to fear it.

"Are you sure about that?" He inquired with dark mirth.

She stared at him for a moment, refusing to back down, but her eyes betrayed her as they left his and watered ever-so-slightly.

"Let's speed this up. I'm tired and my back hurts." She said in a low voice, not making eye contact.

Felix glanced around at the lost boys who quickly put their heads down.

"You're beginning to sound quite old." Pan taunted.

She glared at him, gingerly placing a hand on her back to rub at it. "I feel old."

"You won't after tonight." Felix countered, strolling up to join the action.

"Shouldn't you be off hunting boars or something?" Terra snapped, glancing briefly at the scar on his face.

He chuckled, twirling the straw in his mouth. Skipping the small talk, he asked, "Should I gather the boys?"

"That doesn't seem necessary," Pan sighed, "It looks like they're all here."

"Then I'll gather wood." He said affirmatively, looking at Pan's face for the confirmation.

"I'll go with you." Terra said quickly, practically begging for something to do, away from Pan's prying eyes.

"That didn't sound like a question." Pan snorted.

Terra clenched her jaw, hating that he was making her feel powerless. But still, she supposed she understood his reasoning. She couldn't be trusted anymore. He'd once given her freedom on the island, and she took advantage of it. Her pride kept her silent.

"What? Did you think I'd just let you run free on the island? After all the trouble you caused?" He said mockingly, his eyes glinting in obvious amusement.

She clenched her fists, her knuckles beginning to turn white. She knew it wasn't fair to be angry with him, he was only doing what was safe. But he was the reason she ran to those caves in the first place. And besides, it was far easier to blame him than herself.

"Let me go with him," She began in a hushed voice, suppressing indignation, "I can help."

"So what, I'm supposed to just trust you now?" He questioned derisively. "If you want my trust, Terra, you'll have to earn it."

"Then let me earn it." She said pleadingly, "And besides, it's not like I'm going anywhere, I can't leave the island. And Felix could stop me."

Felix, finally speaking up for the first time, looked slightly insulted. "Yes, Pan with all due respect-"

He was cut off with Pan's hand in his face. Peter stepped forward, invading Terra's personal space until she could feel his breath. "I'm only going to say this once, _chimera, _so you'd better listen closely. If I don't see you back here tonight, a cage will be the least of your problems."

She nodded mutely, fully aware that saying anything back would simply end in fire, and she already had spread oil everywhere.

He turned away, seemingly heading back towards the rest of the boys. "I expect to see you soon then, and Felix," He paused, staring at him with hard, demanding green eyes. "Don't let her out of your sight."

Felix nodded, and with his hood up he stalked off.

"Come on girl."

Terra stumbled after him.

* * *

"Are you always this pleasant?" She inquired sarcastically at his silent and dreary attitude. She reached down and picked up a larger piece of fallen tree to add to her collection heavy in her arms.

He smirked, but she didn't see it.

"Only for you _chimera._" He replied, equally sardonic.

She scoffed lightheartedly. "And here I thought this would be a bonding experience."

He rolled his eyes playfully, not bothering to give any more to the conversation. Unfortunately for him, she was quite stubborn.

"I can't help but feel like I'm doing most of the work here." She said, a little breathless from the wood she was keeping in place with her chin. She made a point to eye the lack of sticks he carried. He held a few under his arms, but she figured the heavy club was influencing his ability to carry firewood.

"Babysitting you is equal to the weight you carry, possibly more." He drawled, slightly amused. She felt a little satisfied at the hint of emotion she evoked from him.

It was quiet for a bit, the only noise present the crunching of leaves under their boots.

She furrowed her brow at the awkwardness. How ever did he manage to ignore it?

"I'm sorry I broke your nose." She grumbled, sensing left over tension from that particular day.

He stopped abruptly, making her crash right into his back and drop the heavy load of sticks. She froze a moment, her eyes wide in shock as she stared forward. She sighed exasperatedly and threw her arms in the air.

"Great now-" She began, but she stopped when he turned, and she was pretty sure she was about to get hit.

"What did you say?" He commanded.

She unconsciously stepped back. "I-I said I'm sorry I broke your nose, I just thought, well you seemed upset over it still, so I wanted to tell you. I owed you for the caves… I don't know I just felt like it okay?! So stop looking at him like I've grown bunny ears or something."

He looked, dare she say, _touched_, for a moment or two, staring into her eyes as if trying to figure something out. But before she could figure out why, or even ask him, it was gone as he looked away and his hood shaded his eyes.

"Lost boys don't say sorry." He said, lacking whatever venom he'd planned to have.

"I never claimed to be lost, or a boy, so that rule doesn't apply to me." She grinned, sensing that she'd somehow gotten to him.

He smiled, he didn't let her see it.

He couldn't let her see that he liked her, even as a friend.

Because if she thought they were friends, he'd have to betray her if she ever thought he'd pick her over Pan. And heaven knows she would.

He couldn't be one of her little friends who would come home with her.

Pan was his home, _Neverland_ was his home.

He tromped away, ignoring her yells to wait up as she struggled to put all the sticks back into her arms and run after him.

But somehow, he knew she would.

She always followed when he led her somewhere.

* * *

She scuffled after him as they approached the camp.

She dropped a stick or two as they came closer, hearing the hoots of the boys and the clashes of wooden swords.

Boys gathered in a place, and she assumed it to be a fight and paid no mind. She had no energy left to break up fights, and what they did to themselves was their own fault. They caused her enough trouble already.

She watched Felix drop what little wood he carried on the ground and stride over to Pan, who looked quite pleased to see nothing had happened.

Still, a full report was expected.

She knew he would tell Pan about her apology, that it would somehow become a joke to tell amongst each other, but a small part of her believed that he accepted it, that they'd somehow bonded in that moment. The look on his face in the woods did not seem to that of an unforgiving boy.

She would know for sure, since Pan was making his way to her.

She briefly lost her balance from the weight of the fallen tree bits she'd collect, nearly toppling over. With a flushed face, she composed herself and dropped the sticks she collected to the ground near Felix's.

"I see you made it back." Pan said smugly.

She sighed, dusting off her shirt and wherever else she felt necessary. "Did you doubt I would?"

"Remind me never to doubt you again." He replied with a smirk.

She could tell he thought that she came back for him. She could tell that he had somehow concocted this theory that she wanted to prove herself to him because she wanted to be with him, to stay with him. She quickly dismissed whatever hopes of that there were.

"There is a chance you have my family, and I'm not taking any risks." She replied, a little skeptic.

"Oh I think there's more to it than that." He replied condescendingly.

_How did she know?_

She rolled her eyes, not wanting any part of this conversation. "My legs are killing me. I'm going to go have a seat now."

She made her way to log near the trees, plopping down onto it to wait for whatever the night had in store when she had a thought.

_Perhaps Felix hadn't told Pan about what happened in the woods. _

If he did, wouldn't there have been some taunting confrontation? A parade of humiliation? She turned to stare at the dirty blonde haired boy, a confused yet astonished look on her face.

He looked up to meet her gaze, shrugging slightly as if sensing her thoughts.

_Perhaps he had forgiven her._

* * *

The remainder of the evening was fairly rowdy, to say the least. Boys beat on sticks in the air, howling and jumping about like crazed nocturnal animals just shortly after Peter lit the fire up. But she was used to the boys, it wasn't them that bothered her. '_Bothered' _was a strong term, she decided, she just felt like she was wasting her time being there, watching him completely forget about her. She started to feel like he'd only brought her to annoy her, to drive her absolutely crazy with the noise and the stares.

A laugh erupted from the soft, fair-skinned girl dancing about with feathers in her hair. Peter was the one who put them there, and for some reason the thought of him running his hands through her beautiful caramel hair made Terra feel slightly self conscious. She absent-mindedly reached up to feel at her straight, split ends.

Pan held Wendy's hands, spinning with her in a hopping motion. He twirled and danced with her and completely forgot Terra's presence by the looks of it.

She was just about ready to get up and head off into the trees, not necessarily out of camp, but far away enough to not see any of the action, when Pan called for the noise and the dancing to cease.

And like magic, within seconds it was absolutely silent.

Everyone watched him expectantly as he pulled out a familiar set of pipes.

While the boys rejoiced at the sight, Terra shrank back down to her seat. Those pipes brought out the animal in everyone… Well, everyone who was _lost. _

She was anything but ready to hear those pipes, because if she did, it would prove that Pan had been right all along. She was lost, just like she was before.

She squinted her eyes shut, focusing on thoughts of Slightly, Nibs, Curly and Jack… But she supposed it wasn't people that mattered, it was moments. So she dismissed the faces, and instead thought of the times, the music, the birthdays, the love. She was very much loved. She was loved.

She chanted it in her head like a mantra. Over and over again, _I am loved, I am loved…_

She broke into pieces when she heard the first, eery note pass through the evening air. She was confused, _lost _even. Why was she hearing the music? She was loved. SHE WAS LOVED. She felt like tearing out her hair in frustration.

It continued, and soon, words joined in, a simple lovely voice adding to the tune. She recognized the song, but she was too upset to pin-point the name.

She glanced up to see eyes on her, _his _eyes on her, staring at her, smirking at her, _mocking _her. She couldn't tell, but to him she looked torn apart, her hair tousled about and her eyes wide and crazy. She continued to stare right back, refocusing and hardening her eyes, but nevertheless his playing stayed strong and constant. A small part of her frowned at him, wishing that she'd somehow affected him.

She looked away awkwardly, and moving her head to the right where she caught a familiar stocky build leaning against a tree. Without a second glance she began to move towards him, because he seemed to be a nice distraction, maybe even a friend.

Pan's eyes followed her, and she felt them on her, but she ignored him. She'd had enough of him tonight.

"Hey Felix." She said once she was close enough.

He responded with a questioning glance, and she gave him a somewhat sheepish shrug as she moved to stand next to him.

"What do you want, girl?" He drawled, gazing straight ahead at the flames.

"Just thought we could chat." She said simply, mirroring his stoic and carefree aura.

When he didn't answer after several moments passed, she added, "Or I could chat…"

He chuckled almost inaudibly. She grinned, barely catching it but still appreciating the sound of it.

"Why the sudden urge to be friends?" He inquired with a small curve of his lips.

"What can I say, I'm a forgiving person." She replied jokingly.

It was quiet between them for a while, but not uncomfortable. Now that they'd passed the tense, arguing stage they'd been through, there was an unspoken agreement, one that said that despite their discords, they were similar beings.

"The pipes don't bother you?" She asked, noticing his relaxed attitude. She was struggling to stand still, and her hands were clenched tightly behind her back.

"You assume I can hear them." He said, less of a question and more of a confirmation.

She was taken aback for a second or two, finally staring up at his eyes over his jaw. "Can't you? Isn't that why you're 'a lost boy'?"

"I've heard them enough times that I can control myself." He responded, lacking real emotion and seeming somewhat distant.

"You'll have to teach me sometime." She said, a small break in her voice at the end.

He looked down, catching her staring at a pair of dancers that he knew all too well. "You seem to be handling it well. I doubt there'd be much to teach."

She sighed, nodding slightly and forgetting herself as she stuttered, "H-how long has she been here? I didn't see her… Last time."

Felix looked sympathetic for an instant, but he corrected himself and cleared his throat mutely. He already knew this was going to happen, it shouldn't bother him. "She came shortly after Baelfire."

She swallowed thickly. "I never saw her before."

"That's because Pan keeps her…" He stopped himself before he could say something stupid. His loyalty was to Pan, and what Terra felt was irrelevant to him. "In a special area, where the boys can't harass her."

He looked down, feeling regretful as he saw the tears in her eyes. He couldn't quite understand how she could always say she hated Pan, but still feel so hurt about something as stupid as this.

"She's a beautiful singer." Terra said quietly, hoping that she successfully hid the choke of emotion in her voice.

"We call her 'Wendy Bird'." He added carelessly, ignorant to what it meant for her.

'_I am many things, Peter Pan, but I will never be your little bird, no matter how hard you try to make me.'_

She remembered that conversation. Angry tears threatened to spill, though she was not entirely sure who she was angry with. Him, for taking some kind of pleasure in the irony of the situation, or herself, for letting him get to her like this.

Felix wondered if that was going too far, if she'd realize that Wendy was usually caged up and hidden away until found useful. He wondered if the look on her face meant that she had caught onto their game, if he'd somehow betrayed Pan.

"Does she do this often?" Terra inquired, her anger seeping through.

Felix picked his words carefully. One wrong move, and she'd explode. "Not really."

"How long do these things last?" She asked abruptly, the words spilling out quicker than she intended.

"I don't know. Long enough for the boys to forget." He said with a sigh, wondering if this was overstepping some kind of boundary.

_That's right_, she thought, _they miss home too._

The quick beat of the music began to slow, and sensing it's end, she squeezed in whatever last things she could.

"I'm going to be going back to my cage?"

He responded without hesitation. "Yes."

She seemed a little hurt for reasons he couldn't begin to understand, but he thought it might be because she had no clue that Wendy would also be spending the night in a cage.

"Can I… Can we chat more often? You're very helpful sometimes." She said in a hushed whisper as the music grew quiet.

He furrowed his brows. After much thought, he decided to go with, "I don't know. It depends on if I can tolerate you that day."

She smiled faintly, appreciating the small hope he offered.

* * *

GUYS YOU SHOULD REALLY REVIEW.

I SPEAK TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHEN I SAY EVEN A SMALL NOTE HELPS ME WORK.

IT'S REALLY GREAT TO GET FEEDBACK.

Anyway, hope you guys liked this chapter! I hope the Felix/Terra stuff isn't too rushed.


	16. Chapter 16: Before

**A/N: GUYSSSS! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FEEDBACK! I love it! I tried to update real quick for you, but this week was a little busy, but I suppose 6 days is still pretty good. I hope you don't hate me. This chapter things get... Well, a little steamy. I don't think it's quite enough to be M, but that's why I need you guys to tell me if something is triggering or inappropriate or something. TERRA X PAN! I swear Pan is such a bastard. But Felix is adorable in this chapter. **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 16: Before**

As the noise died down, so did the raging flames. She supposed it could've been re-lit, but she judged by the tired faces and yawns it was doing what it was supposed to. As Pan officially sent the boys off to bed, Terra left her corner and sat down by the slowly burning out fire. The warm embers soothed the ache in her limbs, but did nothing for her aching heart.

She was not surprised when she heard someone sit beside her.

"Is it over now?" She inquired in a small voice.

"Yes." Felix responded in a quiet half-grunt.

The sound of their conversations were pleasant to her that evening. A peace even in the chaos of their surroundings.

She muttered a distant 'good' before picking up a nearby stick to poke absent-mindedly at the small fire.

Felix stared at her, and she felt his eyes. She was upset, and it was quite obvious. He could see it the whole night, even if she hadn't said anything. Despite his loyalty screaming 'no', he began in a comforting tone, "Tonight was just to see how well you could handle herself around the boys again."

"So what? It was a test?" She snorted, though it was lacking the sassiness or anger she'd intended.

She felt him shrug in reply, which she assumed to mean he couldn't tell her for sure, but a simple gesture like that would let her know.

"How did I do?" She grumbled, drawing shapes in the dirt.

"You did fine around me." He said, and then added, "And that part at the very beginning was… Interesting."

She smiled softly, and it was the first real one he'd seen all night. The orange hues of the fire reflected in her eyes as she stared forward, and despite how awful she felt, her looks could very well rival Wendy Darling's, especially in that moment.

"Yeah… Well, I can't say I have never been in her position. I only did what I wished someone would've done for me." She replied, a far-off sadness in her voice.

He gazed at her, seeing the way her shoulders tensed up the moment she said it. He could tell that she too thought that they were sharing far too much for people on completely different sides. Still, he couldn't help but feel a sense of family for this girl. She'd be here forever, and she was, unlike the other lost ones, a smart, strong team member.

He wasn't one for strong unnecessary emotions, but he felt such sadness at the thought of boys, or even men, chasing her skirt like the lost boys did Wendy's.

"Stop that." She said lightly, pushing on his shoulder attempting to change the mood.

He was less amused. "What?"

She laughed, but like many others that night, it didn't at all resemble a real one. "I can see the pity all over your face. Don't pity me."

"I don't pity you," He began, "I wonder what you were like before."

She questioningly raised an eyebrow. "Before?"

He tried his best to hide any emotions, and lucky for him he had gotten so good at it that he'd succeeded. "Before the world ruined you and turned you into someone who doesn't fear violence."

She looked away, a little bit astonished that he could be so observing, but also a little bit crestfallen. She nearly forgot what her life was like before. Before she was strong. Before she could turn off what needed to be turned off and shut out what needed to be shut out. Before she could defend herself when she was alone on the streets well into the night when most were in bed at home with their loved ones and perfect families.

"I will always fear violence. I will always fear things. I learned that shortly after I got here."

As much as she wanted to tell them, to get them off her chest, those stories were her own. Yes, there were always consequences that came with being a young girl all alone all the time. Yes, there were threats. And yes, she grew from them. But like Felix did, she often wondered what her life would have been had she not dyed her hair, had she not learned to fight, had she not read so many books or kept weapons on her daily or robbed people's houses or even left her father that night in the first place.

She often wondered what her life would have been had she not come to Neverland in the first place.

But most of all she wondered how somewhere down the line she'd lost the belief that someone could love her without some kind of ulterior motive.

"It's okay to fear." Felix replied, and the words brought a glimmer of hope.

It was quiet then, the crackle of the fire in the air as it burned it's last few minutes. The noises that filled the night she loved far more than the savage voices that blocked it out earlier. Sometimes, if she listened closely enough, she swore she could hear the tinkling of tiny fairies in the night skies above them. She hoped they'd not all been poisoned by the island and the tinkling was not simply her imagination.

After some time, she glanced over at the sound of chatter. It was too far away to hear, but it was them.

"Is he… Is he staying with her tonight?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Not tonight," Felix began, emotionlessly though his words were careless, "He's probably just saying goodnight."

'_Not tonight'._

The word so seemingly simple echoed in her ears and started a storm in her head.

'_Not tonight' _bothered her.

'_Not tonight' _meant that maybe he would not stay with her this night, but he has before and may do it again. It implied what she feared.

"Oh." She said awkwardly. "Should I-"

"I don't think that would be wise. He wants to take you back for the night. You'd better just wait here." He said, cutting her off and finishing off what questions still lingered. But having all the questions answered meant silence, and this time it would not be comfortable.

"Why?" He asked in an amused tone, "Are you eager to get away from me?"

"No, not at all." She said plainly. "I just am feeling tired and it appears to be late in the evening."

They watched as what was left of the flames burned out into ash. She poked at what was left behind, pushing it around and lifting the woods as a means of entertainment.

"Can't you take me, Felix?" She asked with a hint of a whine.

"It's not my place." He said without hesitation.

She sighed, straightening her back after she'd been hunched for quite a while.

She turned her head at the sound of laughing. Peter's laughing, and it sounded genuine. Wendy looked shy, and an emotion that she was too far away to see, as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him for a hug.

Something felt… Strange, about their exchanges.

He watched her stalk off into the trees with a smirk.

Terra managed to turn away a nano-second before he turned around. Her heart rate increased as she heard him approach. It was be unwise to look at Felix for any kind of solace, especially since she'd seen what he did to boys that had any connection to her. She just gazed into the ashes, despite how wrong the picture looked what with her and Felix alone and fairly close together.

"Well, you two look tuckered out." He remarked.

She offered no counter for him. She hoped Felix had words to say, even though he usually didn't.

"Felix, isn't it time you got some sleep?" Pan asked, though she could tell it was more of a formality. He wasn't asking.

"Indeed it is." Felix agreed, and he saw the panic on her face as he stood up. Instead of a simple good night, he went for a more reassuring phrase. "See you in the morning, _chimera._"

And he hoped she got the messages.

Calling her Terra would only end badly for both of them. It was too familiar, especially when he'd called her _Chimera _for so long.

"Likewise Felix." She said politely, inexpressively, not bothering to look up or even glance his way.

She was screaming in protest internally as he sauntered off into the woods.

"Shall we?" Pan asked devilishly as he held out a hand to help her up.

She eyed it and effectively ignored it.

She began to stomp off into the trees, not bothering to look back but not really looking forward either. If she had been, she would've noticed him before she crashed right into his chest.

She lingered a moment, the smell of his rough tunic somewhat welcoming, before snapping her head up and glaring fiercely.

The pleased and entertained look on his face only angered her further.

"For someone who's been here for a while, you seem to know nothing about direction." He teased.

She huffed and turned sharply, leaving him and his humor behind. She was quite irritated by him, he'd not bothered to even look her direction all night and now he wanted to play it off like nothing?

"Are you planning on leaving me behind?" He said, appearing in front of her once more.

"I could say the same thing." She remarked snidely, surprising herself. It was not okay to say that. It wasn't okay to be angry because of something like this. This wasn't okay.

"Are you angry with me?" He inquired amusedly.

She really shouldn't have said anything. She shouldn't have been angry. She shouldn't have felt so angry that he… That he…

_That he showed affection for some other girl._

She wasn't angry. She was jealous. It was never about abandonment. It was about possessiveness.

She shouldn't have said anything. She really should've just walked past him and to her cage. But she never could hide from him.

"Yes." She breathed, glaring at him with hard eyes. He stood proudly, even as she advanced on him like a panther of a sorts. "Yes, I am angry with you."

"Well I can't help but feel like that's unreasonable of you." He replied in a low voice.

"Unreasonable?" She repeated, lazily sauntering to where he stood. "You completely ignored me the whole night, you brought me to flaunt Wendy in front of me and now you're telling me I'm unreasonable?"

He smiled darkly, his eyes gazing right into hers with a gleam of triumph. Their noses were nearly touching, his breath fanning her lips as he said, "If I didn't know better I'd say you're beginning to sound quite possessive."

She faltered, and in a single moment, with his eyes on her and the rugged smell of the forest lingering in the air, she glanced at his lips. She imagined it being harmless, just glancing at them moving as the words danced off his tongue. But thinking about his lips made her want them on her own. She wondered if he kissed Wendy. If he wanted a prettier girl and had grown tired of her. She didn't want him to get tired of her. Everyone got tired of her eventually.

Feeling vulnerable and scared, she yanked him down to her lips roughly, pulling on his hair and sucking on his lips. She tugged on them with her teeth in a desperate attempt to open them enough to slip her tongue inside. He responded, but not the way she'd wanted. He eagerly mirrored her movements, but he teased with, sliding his tongue along hers before pulling it away.

She nibbled lightly on his bottom lip as he gripped her hips and pushed her up against the nearest tree. A short, breathy moan was heard from him, and it encouraged her. She took it as an opportunity and forcibly pushed her tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss, sliding it around to rub and mingle with his.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, tugging at the hair by his neck as his hands rubbed her thighs and up her hips sensually.

When he began pulling away, she unconsciously followed, making him smirk. They gazed into each others eyes, both clouded with lust, their faces millimeters away. As she moved in to continue kissing him, he mumbled against her lips, "What do you say we take this somewhere a little more… Private."

His hands squeezed her, urging her for the answer they both had been waiting for. And before she could even think of stopping herself, it tumbled out.

"Yes."

Review? ;) What'd ya think?


	17. Chapter 17: Never Let Me Go

**A/N: I am beyond proud of this chapter. Things are little bipolar here, Terra is having emotional breakdown after emotional breakdown, but it's part of her character development, I promise. So much shit goes down. I hope you can keep up. I'm sorry if things went too fast, but you know me. **

**BUT OMG GUYS, I GOT 7 OR 8 REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER. THAT'S FANTASTIC! So as a thank you, this chapter is 5,543 words. And it's only 6 days after the last chapter. **

**So I usually don't put songs in my chapters, unless they're really REALLY related, so I thought this Florence + the Machine song was perfect.**

**Enjoy!**

**Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine**

**Chapter 17**

Last night, was both regrettably and unregrettably, a whirlwind of emotion. She wasn't quite sure what possessed her to comply to his desires, to her own desires, but perhaps it was his insistent hands and lips on hers, or the feel of his skin, so familiar and welcoming. He drew such honest and animalistic reactions from her, and for a moment or two she thought herself a perfect lost boy with her savage movements and cries into the night. But the horrifying part was not that she had turned into a lost boy that night, the horrifying part was that she _loved it. _She didn't mind being one if it meant being this close to him, this comfortable, this _free. _

She could recall every single detail, and just thinking of it made her face go hot. She could say with utmost confidence that never, in her whole life, had a boy, or even a _man, _ treated her with such lust, such passion in any number of nights the way he'd made her feel in just one. He was dominating, passionate, and full of affection.

She often thought him soulless, but last night's experience had effectively proved her wrong.

She awoke to warm sunlight on her face, a cushiony mattress below her, and the soft feel of skin against hers almost everywhere. She snuggled against the figure behind her, pulling the covers around her body and burying her face in his chest. Her legs tangled with his and his arms laced around her tightly. She knew exactly where she was, who she was with-how could she forget?-but she just didn't care. The feel of him she already knew quite well, and she was too addicted to let go.

Her eyes peeled open and gazed at his sleeping face above her. He looked… Innocent. No sinister glares or threatening glints in his eyes, no mocking smirks or eyebrow dances. He just looked like your average teenage boy, sleeping in well past noon. Rightfully so too, they'd had quite a workout last night. His breathing was evenly paced, which meant to her that his sleep was restful, just like hers. No nightmares. No dreams that she could remember at all, actually, and that was calming to her. She'd rather have no dreams than terrible dreams.

She was tempted to kiss his lips, but resisted, already feeling the awkward that would come with her leave.

Instead, she traced lazy patterns on his chest with her fingertip, smiling to herself that they could be like this. She liked this. This was better than the threats, the fights, the killing. She snuggled deeper into him at the thought, winding herself deeper into the blankets.

"You're quite the blanket hog." He said, his eyes open and squinted slightly in a smirk. She was taken off guard, but the warmth in his eyes made her heart flutter. In a teasing manner, she smirked back and yanked the covers around herself, leaving him bare.

"So eager to see me naked again?" He countered, raising an eyebrow and almost laughing at the way her face went blood red in seconds.

She scoffed, and surrendered the heap of blanket she'd stolen. "I think I've seen enough, thank you."

"Really?" He continued, "You seemed pretty intrigued five minutes ago."

Her face contorted in outraged shock. "You scoundrel! You were awake!" She raised her hand to slap at him.

And in a moment of perfect bliss, one that hadn't happened in quite a while, she giggled.

It sounded weird from her, her voice was nearly unrecognizable to herself in the light, jittery tone. He was ever pleased, him not hearing it for quite a while either. His smirk held traces of a real, loving smile that took her breath away.

And just like that, he was kissing her again.

His mouth was soft, crashing against hers slowly, passionately, and she curled her hands into his hair. The feelings that they'd repressed time and time again was poured into their lips, and he felt like with her, maybe, just maybe he could be saved. Maybe with her, he didn't need to threaten, or push, or kill, with her, he could do things right, no matter how many times he'd messed up before. That was what was predicted, wasn't it? She could love him. She had to.

Putting his thoughts into actions, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her further into him. The motions and the feel of it all made her stomach tingle in delight.

Reluctantly, they pulled away together, because as tempting as all of this felt, something was coming and they both felt it. He still had her family, still had her, and she still didn't trust him. She gazed into his eyes for the final time of the day, for the week, passion and everything in her eyes. And despite what he wanted, he knew things were still the same. He wanted to be different for her. But he couldn't change who he was, he was a coward, someone who chose freedom over his son, consistently chose youth and immortality over love.

But he was always a selfish boy, so instead of letting her leave, he pulled her in closer, if that was even possible, and trailed kisses on her skin.

He'd heard sob stories of people trying to return to good, to return to their innocent lives before they became villains, but never thought he'd ever be one. He wasn't one, he confirmed sternly. But he wanted to be. But to staying alive required power, required strength, and returning to the village coward would not keep him alive. But for her, maybe he could be more than a villain. Isn't that what true love was supposed to do? Besides, she was quite useful to him. In more ways than one.

She awkwardly began pulling away. With more time, it'd just be harder to leave. She softly ran her hand along his cheek, an action that she normally would have thought cliche and impossible, but this morning was making her believe in miracles. The biggest miracle was when instead of pulling away, instead of saying something condescending, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The simple reaction made her heart shatter a billion times over again, because no matter how destined, how affectionate, they could never be together. Not like this. He was him, and she was herself.

"Goodbye, Peter Pan." She whispered, and for once, she was willing to lose. She was okay with surrender, because surrender was easier than fighting sometimes, and it took a lot more bravery to give in.

His eyes shot open in a mix of shock and sadness, because he sensed this emotion. He'd used it before. It was one he'd used years ago. She was not choosing love, not choosing him.

"You don't need to go." He nearly growled, firmly grasping her arm as if silently begging for her to listen.

"Don't you see?" She said, distressed, "This isn't how it is."

"And why not? Because you're afraid of me?" He replied coolly, though twinges of hopelessness caught in his voice.

She blinked away tears, staring him right in the eyes. Was she afraid of him?

"Yes." She confirmed out loud, tears gathering even in her words.

"Don't be." He breathed, gazing at her lips in such a way that made her very soul quiver with want. When he began to move in, to distract her, she spoke again.

"You do horrible, awful things." She said, wishing it to not be true, though it was.

His eyes flashed with hurt when he looked up at her, but he looked away quickly and collected himself. For a man who usually had tons of touching words, for this moment he had none. He did do awful things.

"Even to me." She murmured, pain in her voice that made his eyes widen.

"Forget those things," He responded a little too quickly, "You don't have to think about them anymore."

She smiled bitter-sweetly. "How can I forget? This island never lets me forget."

"No Terra," He breathed, "Why can't you understand? You _can _forget. Just let yourself forget."

She didn't like it when he said things like that. It was implying that it was her own fault, that she should be blamed for… She should be blamed for holding onto her memories. She didn't like thinking about these things at all, so without thinking, she said what came to her mind first.

"No," she replied, quickly, scared like a child, "I don't want to."

She froze. _She didn't want to._

Why didn't she want to? Why couldn't she just forget the things that plagued her mind at night?

"Just let them go. You can let them go now." He coaxed assertively.

"No," She said louder, growing more frightened, "I can't." She attempted to push away, to run, to hide. She was good at those things. She was good at fighting.

He held her tighter. He was getting somewhere. "You can, Terra. You can beat this."

She didn't like this. He was getting _too _affectionate. She didn't know a Peter who was soft, gentle, loving. She hated it when things were unpredictable, when she didn't know things.

She tried to make herself believe that ignorance was the best, the most blissful, but she couldn't anymore. Not anymore. Ignorance was vulnerability.

She pushed far away from him, avoiding his arms and breaking past his grip. Why couldn't he have just let her say goodbye? Goodbye was easier than this.

"Terra where are you going?" He sighed, sitting up and watching clothes appear in her arms.

"Away from here." She said coldly, putting her feet through her boots.

"Really? Well then you won't get too far." He said, his voice laced in annoyance.

"I don't care." She said, turning away to head out the door. Peter Pan was not gentle. He was manipulative. He was using her. She just knew it.

"Stop." He said low and threatening, a small hint of a growl edging his tone. And she wasn't sure why she listened. She just did.

"This has gone on far enough."

Anger burned through her veins. _She _had gone far enough?

"You're right about that. It's gone on way too far." She said spitefully. She was going to show him everything. She would show him exactly what she thought of him.

"I've grown tired of these games with you Terra." He said in a dangerous voice, a puff of green smoke clouding him as he walked towards her. She assumed it to be his fancy, magical way of 'getting dressed'.

"_You're _tired of _my _games?" She repeated, anger vibrating her brain and controlling her words. "WHAT ABOUT ME?!" She began to scream, turning and pushing him away.

"Oh yes, because it's always about you isn't it? Poor little _chimera _all alone and by herself." He said menacingly, standing up and getting right in her face.

"BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT ABOUT ME!" She bellowed, the thought of lost boys below them slipping her mind. "YOU MADE ME ALL ALONE! YOU DID THIS!"

He leered at her, his eyes growing dark. "It's far easier to blame me than yourself, isn't it Terra? Always blaming me, but never yourself. Well I've got news for you… This is _my _island, and you can't play the victim here for much longer."

Things were going his way. He knew that as soon as she started pushing him.

"I _AM_ THE VICTIM!" She screeched, her eyes flowing with tears, and for an instant her emotions ran high, as they usually did around Peter Pan. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE?!" She breathed heavy, puffs of air, her lungs tired from all the yelling.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SCARED ALL THE TIME?"

He kept up his act, because this step was necessary. He straightened his posture, challenging her to continue. She happily obliged.

"ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES! THAT'S ALL I HAVE NOW! YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME, AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE AND MY WHOLE LIFE IS FAR AWAY!" She took a breather before she continued, her voice still a heavy bellow, "ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES AND THESE!" She unceremoniously yanked her shirt over her head, revealing patches of bruises and scars running along her body.

He glanced at each and every one of them, the tiny finger prints running up and down her arms, the scar on her back from the arrow, the slashes on her arms from the swords, the nasty bruise on her lower back. He didn't know how he missed them last night.

She surprised herself, but she stayed firm, her eyes glaring holes into his as she watched the reactions pitter across his face. When he looked up again, she couldn't help herself. She fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

He was the only person who could ever turn her into this. A crying, dangerous, uncontrollable little girl.

She heard him kneel next her arm, and felt his arms wrap around her. He crooned gentle apologies, kissing the scars and bruises within his reach. There was that word again. 'Gentle'. She wanted so badly to rip herself away, but she just no longer felt the energy to.

He pulled away for her.

His eyes were unreadable, but he looked concentrated.

"Wha-" She began, sniffling, but he answered her question with a calm hand on her arm. He ran his fingertips along her skin, and for a moment she thought he was going to do something horrible. But he surprised her as the purple and green spots washed away with the touch of his hands. He kissed her scars, and they melted away as if they were never there in the first place.

He brushed his fingers along her ribs, her back, everywhere, and just like that, the marks were gone, leaving behind the feeling of him on her skin.

It was quiet for a couple beats as she stared at him in awe, watching him work his magic in admiration. When he was finished, he took her hand in his, and his lips caressed her knuckles.

"See?" He began in a soft whisper, "You can forget. All you need to do is ask."

She looked away, not quite sure if she was upset or not. The atmosphere was fooling. "Just because the marks are gone, doesn't mean the memories are."

"Look Terra," He began, "You don't have to forget anything, not if you don't want to. You can hate me for your whole life and I wouldn't blame you. But you're going to be here for quite some time, and holding onto those, those nightmares, those memories, they'll only make it harder on you."

She considered his words. Foolishly, she considered them. This whole conversation sounded very familiar somewhere inside of her head.

"If I let them go…" She began, not particularly looking at him, her eyes distant and far away, "Then the island wins. Then everything will have always been in my head."

His face questioned her, compelling her to evaluate. She didn't see it, but when he didn't speak, she continued anyway.

"If I don't hold onto these memories, I'll forget. I'll… I'll be like _them_. The lost boys. If I forget then who's going to remember? If I forget, what do I become? If I forget then everything I did to remember just becomes useless. If I forget, I'll have to blame myself, but it was never my fault. But the worst part is, if I forget, then you and the hell that you've created will have finally taken everything from me. I'll really have nothing."

He looked serious, and for once, she got the feeling that he wasn't looking down on her. She felt like he on some level really understood. That feeling was welcomed. After all, it was rare to feel understood.

"For a person who claims to remember, you sure are quick to forget." He said, amusement in the tone of his low voice, but along side his empathetic, lecturing one. "You're not a lost girl, remember? Forgetting does not translate to _lost_. Who said that all your memories have to be wiped away by some invisible force on the island? The lengths you went to, just to preserve all those terrible memories, they're causing you stress to the point where you can't sleep at night."

She looked down, her cheeks hot with mixes of leftover anger and deep embarrassment. He made good points. All those nights of recalling all the words, the fights, it was stressful. It was hard. But forgetting would let him off easy. Forgetting would let him win, wouldn't it?

"If what happened on Neverland has caused you this much pain, then I've already lost." He added thoughtfully, lifting her chin up between his thumb and index finger as if reading her very mind. He stared deep into her blue ocean eyes, dark flecks of navy holding her very soul. "Sometimes, in order to gain something worthwhile, you have to give something in return. It's how the world works. It's how magic works. And having nothing means that you can only get more."

Finally, after breaking her very last wall, one lone and final tear fell from her left eye, choking the next words to come out of her mouth. "I'm scared."

And she was. She always was. Scared to give in, scared to let someone in, scared to run, scared to stay, scared to forget, scared to get lost and not know where she was or where she was going. But maybe, maybe with him by her side, she didn't have to be scared anymore. Maybe, after all the pain and the scars and the bruises, she could finally be happy on this island. And maybe, just maybe, all the suffering would've been worth it.

"I know, but you don't have to be anymore. There's nothing to be afraid of here. I promise, no harm will ever come to you with me by your side." He murmured, stroking her cheek tenderly.

"So you'll let my family go?" She whispered, not being able to resist the opportunity to ask.

His eyebrows drooped as he let out a small snort, as if the question were absurd. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you just promised me I'd be safe here." She countered, her voice growing with anger. She stood up abruptly.

"And what about my safety? I can't just let you go wild." He replied.

"AND SO WHAT? KEEPING MY FAMILY IS AN INCENTIVE TO GO TO BED WITH YOU?!" She shouted, not caring one bit about the people below her, now up and moving about.

"No, keeping your family is a safety precaution. Whether or not you go to bed with me… Well that's completely up to you." He said suggestively.

"HAVEN'T I PROVED MYSELF?!" She screamed. Now she just wanted a reason to be angry.

"Oh you've more than proved yourself. But if I let you go free, I'm not quite sure how you'll react." He responded simply.

"Just tell me. Are they at home?" She asked quietly, wondering if their life was still simple and easy.

"No. But they're somewhere safe. Somewhere I can find them later." He said, a little darkly.

She gave him one last bitter look before she was officially through with conversing with him. Sensing an interrogation on her destination, she saved him the trouble. "I'm going to eat breakfast."

And he stared at her retreating form.

**-XxX-**

* * *

She ignored the strange looks she was receiving, and her stormy atmosphere kept questions and jibes away. She plopped down onto a log with a bowl of oatmeal, listening to the hustle and bustle the morning brought. Boys left, boys came. It was a fast routine that they'd memorized, though it was unspoken.

She was relieved, yet annoyed, when Felix sat beside her.

"If this is going to be a questionnaire I'm in no mood." She growled.

He shrugged and took bites of his banana, his hair looking like he'd just rolled out of bed and his scuzzy brown hood missing. With just his dark grey shirt on, he almost looked like a completely ordinary teen, if not for the scar across his face. "I'm not in the mood to ask."

"Good." She said, her mouth full with food and her eyes glaring daggers at Peter as he walked through the camp.

He shot her a puzzled glance. "Are you alright?"

"I thought this wouldn't be a questionnaire." She responded sarcastically, playing with what was left of her food with her spoon.

"It isn't." He countered. "You just seem.. Well I'll just put it this way, this morning Fox saw you, and instead of picking a fight like he always does, he turned and went the other way."

She scoffed with a light smile. "Well that's a first."

"So's that." He replied with a grin.

"What?"

"That's the first smile I've seen from you today."

She was touched. So when she felt her smile begin to grow, she didn't stop it. "I smiled this morning. I smiled a lot this morning."

He earned an explanation.

"All I heard this morning was you screaming." He argued, silently asking for more information.

"How much did you hear?" She asked sheepishly. She should've paid attention to her volume.

"All of it."

"All of it?"

"All of it."

She gulped with nervousness. Now she _had _to explain. "So you know..?"

"Yep." He replied without hesitation, not needing any gruesome details. "And even if I didn't hear, I saw you go back with him last night."

"Oh." She said tensely.

"But I would think after that, you'd feel relieved, or happy or something." He continued, standing up with a grunt.

He offered her a hand up, and she took it instantly.

"I was. I am." She said simply.

"Then why-"

"Because he provoked me. I explode sometimes. But usually, afterwards, I feel lighter, and I can let go. And I was relieved, but he still has my family. He still doesn't trust me. And I can't help feeling like I've done something wrong when I haven't really. Am I supposed to _want _to be trapped for eternity?" She poured her heart out to him, and she was surprised that she regretted none of it. Felix was trustworthy. Felix wouldn't tell anyone.

He walked with her to get rid of her bowl. "It helps if you don't think of it as a trap. Be a little more optimistic, _chimera_. On the dark side, yes, you will not get to see your family, and I don't doubt that it sucks. But on the brightside, you're free. You don't have to pay taxes, you don't have to listen to authority figures anymore. Here you're your own boss. The only rule here is to not make Pan angry, but you've broken it several times."

She was getting a lot of opinions today, but his made the most sense. Perhaps she was not looking at the brighter side of things. She was always a pessimist. "But what do I have if not my family?"

"See that's the thing about Neverland," He began, tossing out his banana peel, "You have to find the good things. Pick them out, and you can have the time of your life here."

"I don't have any good things." She mumbled.

"You have me." He assured her, lowering his voice with all the figures around.

"I know. But I didn't always."

"But now you do. And I can make this easier for you. You just have to stop walking straight into trouble. Keep that up and you'll turn into Fox." He gave her a goofy lopsided smile, and it made her _believe. _Maybe this was how Neverland was supposed to be.

"Thanks Felix.." She muttered.

"Any time _chimera." _He replied, glancing back at Pan, who watched them like a hawk. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd heard that whole conversation.

**-XxX-**

* * *

"Where do you think you two are going?" Pan questioned the two figures retreating into the woods.

They paused, turning around like children who'd been caught stealing from the cookie jar. He knew they should've asked first. She talked him out of it, her pride too plentiful to work up the spine to even approach Pan.

"Hunting." Felix said simply, tromping over to his leader through the plants.

They exchanged glances, Peter raised his eyebrows pointedly at Terra. Felix responded with a shrug.

"I thought I told you no wandering off." He said to the girl with a hint of mirth.

"No, you told me no running wild." She countered, "Which I won't not with Felix watching me."

He grew closer to her, brushing past Felix on the way and stopping in between them. Felix could already see this would not go well.

_They should've just asked._

"You two are growing rather… Close." Pan said, his voice low as he eyed the two of them.

"So I'm not allowed to have friends now?" Terra said irritably, stopping Felix from whatever he was going to say. He internally face-palmed. Hadn't he told her this morning that getting Pan angry was breaking the rules?

Lucky for her, Pan thought it amusing. "Now, let's not get hasty. I said no such thing. You can have as many friends as your little heart desires."

"Well, then we'll just be on our way." She replied, a sarcastic glint in her eye.

"Not so fast." He replied, stopping her with his magic. She hated when he did that.

"I don't like all this sneaking around. You two are keeping things from me, I can feel it. Just what do you talk about all the time?"

"Pan, I can assure you-" Felix began, trying to plead their case, but Pan was having none of it.

"Felix, I expected better from you. I thought you'd at least tell me where you were going." He looked disappointed, thought mockingly. Felix knew this was dangerous waters, but there wasn't much to do at this point. Sometimes it was better to let him talk first.

He released Terra from his hold, and she immediately stomped back, just as he expected.

"It wasn't his idea," she muttered, "It was mine. I didn't want to 'ask' you to leave the camp."

"And why not?" He challenged.

"Why? Because it's humiliating. Felix was just going to teach me how to hunt. I didn't think it was necessary." She was still angry from this morning, and now he wanted to pick another fight? Didn't he understand women at all?

"Didn't think it was necessary?" He echoed with a snort. "I told you that you had to earn my trust, and this is how you do it? By going behind my back like this?"

"I wasn't going behind your back." She growled. "You see everything on this island anyway. Nothing is a secret."

"Pan, I can promise you-" Felix tried again, but Pan cut him off. This was between Terra and him anyway.

"If you know that to be true, then why the effort to avoid me?" He inquired.

"It's not you we're avoiding. It's the lost boys." She replied. "I don't care that you know. I just don't want the lost boys on our trail."

"And why not?" He questioned.

"Because I'd rather not tell the lost boys the things I tell Felix." She responded, irked that he was asking so many questions.

"What about me? Would you tell me things?" He asked darkly.

"I don't need to. You already know everything." She said suspiciously, wondering where all of this was coming from.

"But not because you were so willing to tell me." He argued.

She groaned, throwing her hands in the air frustratedly. Felix resisted the urge to chuckle, seeing how insanely inappropriate it'd be. But he'd seen her do it before, and it was always somewhat amusing to him.

"For gods' sake Pan, there's no need to be jealous. We're just hanging out." She said, sounding a lot like a teenager.

"Jealous?" He repeated amusedly.

"Yes." She said exasperatedly. "I'm not some common whore."

"I'm not sure what you mean." He said, though he knew exactly what she meant. He just wanted to hear it.

"I don't just go around loving all the boys. I don't just kiss anyone. Gods, who do you think I am?" She replied, vexed by his clear pleasure in her anger.

"Prove it." He replied, smirking at her in such a suggestive way she nearly melted.

She reached him in three, long stalks. She waited until she was close enough for them to exchange breaths. She wasn't bothered by the fact that Felix was present. Yes, it was indecent, but he already knew everything. She got just a millimeter from his lips before saying, "I will."

She smirked at him like a kid, and he mirrored her face. "See you later Pan."

"I should hope so, Terra, or they'll be consequences."

She swiftly took a hold of a dumbfounded Felix's arm and led him away.

**-XxX-**

* * *

They returned later that night, much to Pan's dismay. But she didn't care. They certainly took their time, but they didn't want to go spend time with the lost boys. As was expected, there was already a fire going, roaring against the night air and releasing clouds of smoke. Wendy was already there, but lucky for them, Pan was not going to play his pipes tonight.

She dropped her hunting tools and an arm full of firewood. She wanted to keep that fire going tonight.

"Ah, there's the hunters now." Pan announced, leaving Wendy's side to ask Felix for a play by play.

Terra rolled her eyes and immediately went for a corner, still moderately close to the warmth, but not so much so that she was surrounded by boys.

Much to her surprise, Wendy took a seat next to her.

After several moments, she decided to speak first since it was clear Terra would not.

"He's got mine too, you know." She said simply, compassionately.

Terra turned and gave her a perplexed face. "What?"

"I heard. This morning." Wendy explained, placing a hand on Terra's shoulder.

The blonde let out a heavy sigh. "I'm beginning to think the whole camp did."

Wendy laughed briefly, girlishly, before saying a very sincere, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright, I mean I guess I was louder than I thought." Terra replied with a wave of her hand.

"I just want you to know, Terra, I understand." Wendy said sympathetically, looking at her right in the eyes warmly. Wendy was a lovely girl, quite motherly. It was new to Terra.

But the words she was saying quickly hit home. "What do you mean?" Terra inquired skeptically.

"Well this morning, you were yelling about him having you family. He has mine too." Wendy responded, suddenly feeling a little skeptic herself. They both knew something was not quite right. Wendy knew there was a reason for Peter's sudden change in attitude.

"He… What?" Terra spaced out, her eyes far away as they gazed straight ahead. Things were just not making sense.

"But I mean you've got it good. He let you sleep in a bed last night." She said absent-mindedly, picking at the hem of her night gown.

Terra's head shot up at that. "I thought he was keeping you somewhere special. Away from the lost boys."

Did Felix lie to her? No. Felix wouldn't lie to her.

Wendy snorted softly. "I suppose you could say that. If by special you mean in a cage high in the trees."

Terra froze, shooting a shocked and betrayed look at Felix, who turned just at the right time to catch it.

"He lied to me." She breathed, hurt lacing her words.

Wendy felt guilt weigh in her heart. Perhaps she'd said too much. But then again, it was better to know these things on Neverland. "I'm so sorry, Terra. I didn't know, but I should've. I-I thought that maybe he'd changed," She began, sadly but frantically. She was not thinking of the right _he _when she continued. "I knew there had to be a reason, he wouldn't just be so nice to me for no reason. He never lets me out of the cage, not unless he needs something. I thought that maybe-"

"What?" Terra hissed, glaring indirectly at Wendy.

"He- I" She stuttered, feeling intimidated by the look in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Terra. I didn't know this was his plan. I thought that if I played along I'd be able to see my brothers again, to get out of the cage, I didn't mean to-"

Terra couldn't take one more second. She stood up and stalked over to the two boys in question, leaving Wendy frantic and staggered on the log behind.

With no hesitation in her step, she marched right over to Peter Pan. He looked pleased for a moment, his eyes catching the reflection of the fire at just the right time. He looked down and began to say something, but obviously wasn't quick enough. His smirk faded as her hand slapped him right across the face.

_A/N: Dat slap doe. _

_How'd I do? Good? Bad?_

_Review? ;)_


	18. Chapter 18 Slow it Down

_**A/N: GUYS YOUR REVIEWS ARE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU ALL!~ I'm humbled by the amount of feedback I've been getting, so although it's late, here's chapter 18! It looks like we've got a long way to go with this fic. I think we're looking at 30 chapters here. BUT TERRA THO D: I'm so sad for her. Also, if you've noticed, the title is a Lumineers song. I think I might make a habit out of naming my chapters after songs.**_

_**Slow it down**_

Everything seemed to still.

Time took a momentary pause from it's perpetual repeat.

The earth, all the universes, they stopped spinning.

Well, at least for them it did. As soon as her hand touched his face, it was all darkness for them, and the irony was heartbreaking. The same thing had happened earlier that morning, but the context was completely different. Her hand had been to loving, so soft this morning, and now it was cold and striking, a complete opposite to what he'd wanted.

The hurt on her face was evident, so vivid, to both Felix and Pan, and it stopped Pan from immediate retaliation and Felix from carting her away as fast as he possibly could. He turned his face as the blow hit him hard, and scoffed heavily. He turned back to eye her with a malicious smirk that meant trouble, but it dissipated slightly when he saw the look in her eyes. That look meant that all the action, all the progress, had disappeared and dropped them back at stage one.

She should've known better.

She should've known better than to trust anyone on Neverland.

She should've known better than to let her impulses rule her life.

She shouldn't have gone with him that night.

She shouldn't have listened to Felix.

She should've caught their lies, and could've had she not been so wrapped up in her emotions.

And just like that, she cried. In front of all of them. Because to her, it was only them and the heart that she felt had broken for the last time.

The pieces were too small now, and she couldn't put it back together. She was positive.

Felix looked choked up, practically horrified, because he knew from the second she looked at him when she was over by the fire with Wendy that she'd caught his lie. Their lies. And it shouldn't have bothered him. He told himself this would happen from day one. His loyalties were with Pan, and Terra got her heart broken because she didn't understand that and it was her own fault.

He should've known better.

He should've never even bothered to talk to her at all.

Still, he promised her that she had him now. He _promised. _But he couldn't help her now. And that was worst of all.

"Take me to the cage." She muttered, dangerously edging a whimper.

"I don'-" Pan began, but she was not having it. She was making the demands now.

"I SAID TAKE ME TO THE CAGE!" She screamed, making several of the lost boys flinch.

Nobody made any moves. It was all silence as they stood like statues, Pan with his head high and his arms crossed.

"Fine," She said, her voice venomous enough to kill a man, "I'll take myself."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" He inquired darkly, like she was the one who'd wronged him.

She couldn't take it anymore. Every bone in her body wanted to tear out her hair and fall to the dirt, to ball herself up and forget the world like she used to do at home. Nobody could ever love someone so weak, so stupid, so _lost. _

She faltered, breathing shallowly, but still head her shoulders high. "I don't care."

He chuckled tauntingly. "Your precious lost boys might."

Her eyes grew wide. He was actually going this far. While the statement confused the boys around them, it held meaning to those who knew what _her boys _meant. He was threatening to hurt her family, her friends. Slightly, Nibs, Jack and Curly.

"I thought you'd change your mind." He said with a smug smile as her posture fell along with her piercing glare. "Now why don't you go sit back down and relax?"

She looked up at him, vulnerability and simple _pain _reflected in her ocean irises, surprised that he could ever be as cruel as this to her after all that he'd said, after all that he'd done.

Her pride cracked as she found the furthest tree, and slumped against it, sliding to the floor and pulling her knees to her chest.

If he felt any remorse, he didn't show it.

* * *

She didn't know how long she laid there, because all the sounds had been blocked out. This was how she used to do it back home, before home was a home. It was harder now, because she hadn't done it for years. She didn't have to do it for years, and she considered that an accomplishment. It had been _years _since she felt this broken up.

She was learning to trust him again. Learning to trust both of them.

She nearly forgot everything.

He almost had her.

He almost fooled her.

At least before she could tell herself she did it because he _cared. _Before she could tell herself that he did the things he did because he was like her. Because despite how he acted, he loved her. That's what she used to say.

But there was no love in what he did.

He only did it to help himself, because he would always be the same, selfish, heartless boy because Neverland made him a constant, irreversible version of himself.

But it was easier this way.

It would be easier to feel nothing for him.

She'd forget alright; just not the way he'd wanted.

Once she let the pieces stay broken, once she forgot about them, she could move on and survive here.

She'd heard stories of great magicians who studied the heart and often read their books. She'd read about how to disconnect her mind and her heart, completely neglecting the emotional parts of her that she so despised. It didn't really require magic, just lots of thought and meditation.

But she wasn't going to become unfeeling. Not yet. Doing that now would mean he'd win, he would get her down. And like she always did, she would fight him.

So she sat there, and did what Pan demanded, but as always, she did it with her own twist, her own kind of rebellion.

She drifted into her surroundings once, though she wasn't sure how long ago it was.

Felix had tried to walk towards her, to comfort her, but Pan called him away and dismissed him. She stared at his retreating figure, waiting for him to turn and give her some kind of reassurance, any kind of sentiment. But Felix wasn't exactly known for sentiment, and he was always loyal to Pan, so he didn't so much as glance back at her.

She just sat there, barely aware of the tree bark stabbing her in the back, until it all faded into nothing. She just let everyone drift into nothing, because that was better than something like this. She willed it to fall to the back of her mind, where she could keep it safely when she needed it. And then it all was swept away. It faded like blood in a sea, and it was all deep, cold, dark waters.

His hand on her shoulder frightened her, because she was just starting to let it all go.

She gripped it tightly, twisting it far away from her.

The shock on his face was almost satisfying. _Almost._

But it was the wrong _him._

The boys had gone, the small flicker of what was left of the fire burned on, but unlike the other night, it did nothing for her. Nothing did anything now.

It was all darkness.

She released his wrist absent-mindedly, and turned to observe the scene she'd neglected for what was probably hours.

He didn't say anything.

And unlike before, neither did she.

She felt no obligation to converse, because anything resembling those feelings were forbidden, a betrayal against herself. Instead, she thought his presence annoying, and opted for it to get far away.

"Pan won't be happy if he catches you near me." She said coldly.

Felix studied her features, looking for something, _anything _that he could use to help her. It was blank, and if she felt anything, she wasn't giving it away. "You don't care about what Pan thinks."

He was hoping for a chuckle, a scoff, something to prove she was still in there. He got nothing, absolutely nothing.

"You do." She said robotically, and my, how the tables had turned. Now it was him trying to get an emotion out of her and failing.

And then, he couldn't say anything back. Because she was right. He did care.

Tuning out his very existence, she dwindled back into herself, working at those nerves that begged her to cry and ask him why he would do this to her.

* * *

When Pan returned, he beckoned Felix away and stood directly in front of Terra, just gazing at her vacant figure.

When Felix was gone, he offered out his hand to her, but she ignored it and got to her feet on her own, like she always should've been doing.

She didn't need him to lead her, comfort her, or anything of the sort, so she just stalked forward into the direction she'd memorized. When she was far enough away, walking fast enough, he was quite uncomfortable and effectively stopped her by grabbing her arm.

She didn't react.

"You're in quite the hurry." He said, like nothing had happened at all. He wished nothing had happened at all, because as soon as her eyes met his he could tell something was horribly wrong inside of her soul. The lights had been blown out, all the mirth and youth pushed so far down it was basically nonexistent. This was not what he wanted at all.

The hollowness that she looked at him with was irritating him, in more ways than one. He wasn't supposed to feel guilty. He was winning. He was supposed to feel satisfied, like he usually did when he won something. But that look, that terrible, vacant look just doused all his joy. He wanted her back to the way she was. He wanted the girl he woke up with this morning. This other girl was boring. He quickly thought of ten different ways to get a rise out of her, ones that usually worked before.

He decided on the one that was most enjoyable.

Impulsively, he yanked on her arm and she fell into him, her lips crashing onto his. He probed her lips, trying desperately to break in, but she did nothing. She just stood like a statue, no response, not even an angry push.

His tongue ran against hers, and he expected a moan, something, but nothing.

Still, he persisted, his arms squeezing her waist almost painfully as his teeth scraped across her bottom lip. It was desperate, on the brink of violence, but he just wanted to see her _try _again.

Angrily, he pushed her away roughly.

She stumbled backwards, like a doll.

"Well you're no fun." He breathed cruelly.

But even that was futile, because where he expected sarcasm, a hint of the old girl he'd loved, he'd gotten a void gaze that was not even directed at him. She looked at him, but didn't _really _look at him.

And while most would think now was a good time for embracing and cooing apologies, he pulled her along into the woods, threw her on the ground, and then left her in a cold, small, empty cell.

She wasn't even sad.

She wasn't angry.

She was just hopeless.

"Before you go thinking you can do whatever it is you please again," He began, gazing at her through the crooked bars, "I've enchanted this cage. Whatever you get will come from me. You should remember that next time you decide to strike me so directly like that."

He ran his fingers against her cheek, and was both pleased and displeased when she flinched at his touch. Pleased because it was one of the only reactions he'd gotten out of her in hours, but displeased because she was _afraid _of him. After all the work he did to make it so that she wasn't, she feared him.

But perhaps that was the way it should be.

She listened to his retreating steps before slumping down and curling her body to meet the shape of the boxed cage.

She laid there, no pillows anymore, and her face pressed against the hard floor. When sleep finally claimed her, she panicked at the feel of it.

Sleeping meant letting her guard down.

Sleeping likely meant nightmares.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

He stayed nearby, sitting in the grass and studying the rise and fall of her chest closely. His limbs ached to crawl in next to her, to soothe the gasps and terrified half sobs like he used to. Like he'd done this morning.

His temper had gotten the better of him. He'd done terrible things to her tonight, and he'd said things just as bad. He pushed her so far away it was likely she wouldn't come back for _years, _decades even.

But what he said to Wendy was worse.

He decided blaming Wendy for spoiling his plans was easier than pinpointing the faults in his foolproof manipulations.

But the second he saw how hurt she was, he didn't know how to take it. The second he _felt _how deeply upset she was, he was gone too. His anger was misdirected. But he couldn't help it, the way she treated him. The way he treated her. It was supposed to be different. She wasn't supposed to look like that, to feel like that. She was supposed to feel an epiphany of sorts, but as usual, he'd underestimated her.

"Please…" She whimpered in her sleep, making his very soul pause in anticipation. Anticipation, because in a sick kind of way, he'd hoped that she felt just as bad as he did.

His black, evil heart broke a little when he walked over to her place.

She was awkwardly positioned, her legs bent around and her arms placed funnily, one under her head as a makeshift pillow and the other crooked.

But that was not what made him pause.

Her face was contorted into one of utter sorrow, her eyes closed yet spilling countless tears. She used to talk like this in her sleep before too, but before it was mindless, now it was deliberate, an outlet of sorts. Her heart and her mind were conflicting, and as they usually did in dreamland, the heart was winning.

"I don't want to be alone." She mumbled, as if trying hard to contain herself but failing.

He brushed hair out of her face, wishing that he could help her but the better part of him knowing that it had to be this way. She had to learn.

"Don't leave me alone." She sobbed, reaching for something that was invisible.

"Shhh," He whispered, running his fingers against her arm, "Nobody is leaving you."

It looked like a pretty nasty nightmare by the way her limbs banged against the bars as she thrashed about. She began yelling frantic half sentences that he barely could make out with her dreamy slur. He could make out some sentences, a clear one was 'not lost'.

The way she slept sounded like hell, like her mind was engulfed in pain and she was swimming in it.

And for the first time in years, centuries even, Peter Pan felt tears in his eyes.

She began to scream, praying for home, someone to want her, someone for her to trust. It was all mushed together as she struggled to regain control of herself. Her mind was trying to convince what her heart refused to accept, what her heart knew was right. And he could no longer take it.

With the flick of his index finger, the cage was opened and he tried to hold her down, because the last thing she needed was more bruises, especially from him. He saw one forming on her arm from when she'd knocked into the bars and cursed under his breath.

"Terra!" He called to her, once, twice, several times, luring her out of whatever dark place she was in. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to realize that she loved him, that she could trust him. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She was supposed to be the only light in his life because he'd put out all the other ones. But just as he did the others, he smothered the light in her and filled it with the darkness he made.

She gripped his hand tightly, both her hand and his turning white from all the force she was using.

Her eyes opened blearily, her mind awake but her body still in dreamland.

He was like a lion tamer in that instance, moving slowly as if she was some wild, unpredictable beast. He carefully placed his other hand on top of hers, prying away the grip she had on him.

"Relax Terra, It's only me." he whispered gently to her, stroking her knuckles.

She was ever tense, those words bringing no sense of comfort to her. They usually didn't, but they did once before. He thought maybe, just maybe, a small ounce of her still believed in him. He was sadly mistaken.

Her eyes looked so scared, so terribly ready to bolt and hide, and it frightened him almost as much as he frightened her.

"I'm not going to hurt you ever again." He said solemnly to her, part of him hoping she'd remember this conversation and the other praying that she wouldn't.

She eyed him judgingly, trying to make something out of his words. Her thought process was quite vague to him now. He couldn't understand how she could just let go of herself like this, how she could turn herself into what seemed like a plastic toy.

Her eyelids grew heavy, and he could tell he was losing her again as her tense limbs started to fall.

"That's what they told me last time." She said, heavy fatigue hindering her tone and making it all the more harder to hear. "You said that…. They all say it."

He couldn't quite understand what she meant, and he assumed she was still halfway in her dreams. But what she said last was the one that hurt. It tore through him like an arrow, and he doubted he could ever forget it.

"You're a liar."

And it hung in the air even as she fell into him, her breathing back to normal and her tears returning.

And when he was sure she was sleeping, when he was sure she wouldn't know, one, barely noticeable tear slipped down his cheek.

Was this his punishment for all the pain he caused?

**A/N: I nearly felt bad for Pan in this chapter, but then I remembered he's a shit and dug his own grave. But Terra D: My baby is so sad rn omg! I hope Pan gets eaten by a mermaid. I hope they eat him for supper. I hope he gets his dick stuck in a toaster.**

**Pardon my French. Anyway, review? Please? Maybe? Yes? No? Good? Bad?**


	19. Chapter 19: Seven Devils

_**A/N: Hey kids! THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! 9 last chapter! A WHOLE 9! *cries tears of joy* This pleases me immensely, so I updated quicker than usual for you guys. THIS CHAPTER I SWEAR TO GOD! You'll find out, but I was crying this chapter. I'm so excited for the next one! The Florence + the Machine I listened to during this chapter did not help lessen the intensity. It's so intense.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Chapter 19: Seven Devils**_

She woke up differently that morning.

That morning, she woke up feeling oddly refreshed, like weights had been lifted off her shoulders. She wasn't sure what it was, but she quickly found out when she registered her surroundings.

He was smiling in his sleep, she could feel it in his lips pressed against her shoulder. His hands were tightly bound around her waist and their feet tangled under the covers. Judging by the way he wound himself around her body, he was not letting go. He knew that she didn't want to stay with him like this, it was too personal, especially after the fight they had. This was too personal for them. And he knew that this was how she felt, so he made sure it would be no easy task leaving.

Still, she supposed she wouldn't mind terribly if she had to stay, because sleeping with him always made her feel _calm. _He knew that too, which must be why he carried her to his treehouse with him, why he stuck around after she fell asleep. It was sweet of him, uncharacteristically sweet, and she supposed he was trying to make amends. It wouldn't be that easy, just like untangling her body from his wouldn't be easy.

She wondered briefly why he stuck around. Perhaps he heard her nightmares. Perhaps he soothed them for her. Maybe that was why they went away. The exchange was hazy, but she could almost be certain there was one.

But then she thought of how he'd act when he woke up. He would most definitely be as charming as before, and she didn't know if she could still resist him. She was supposed to stop feeling these things, and that was easier when he acted like a monster.

With a quiet exhale, she began to slither out of his arms. He monetarily tightened his grip, and she froze like a statue. He breathed her in dreamily before loosening up. She prayed he was still asleep and not pretending like he'd done before. But she was ignorant to his methods of persuasion, which failed miserably when she continued to maneuver her way out of his hold.

She slid underneath his arms, making sure his head didn't fall forward in the process. Slowly, ever so slowly, she ducked her head underneath his arms and put her feet on the floor.

The dull, emotionless feeling came back as her body shivered from losing the warmth of the bed. She glanced around for her boots, laced them up and walked to the door.

She spared him one last glance before she left, but regretted it the instant she did.

The smile on his face had fallen, leaving an empty frown and a wrinkle in between his eyebrows. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he looked sad. But he'd proven to her that he didn't feel things like sadness. He'd already shown her the real him.

With a shake of her head, she was out the door and climbing down the ladder.

She just barely missed his watery forest green eyes open watch her go.

* * *

Lost boys eyed her both enviously and sympathetically as she marched through the camp, plopping down on a log and starting a fire to ward off the cold in her bones. She could feel Felix staring at her, but made no effort to acknowledge him.

She understood his loyalty to Pan, but he still lied to her. He didn't have to lie to her. She would have played along for him. She would've played it smarter than that, especially if he had just asked her to.

She wondered if this whole thing with Felix was slightly unreasonable.

He couldn't reveal everything, and telling her Wendy was kept in a cage in the trees wouldn't have really helped. Was this all a stupid waste of time?

_No, _she practically growled to herself, _You don't care about Felix. You don't care about Pan, you only care about survival. This is all meaningless. Caring will get you into trouble._

But saying was easier than doing, so instead she cut a few more ties that made her feel so incredibly sad when she thought of everything that had happened, how they both acted. She wondered how many she would have to turn off before not feeling anything, because she'd already promised that she'd never make herself like that again. No, she wasn't turning herself into a robot, she was just getting rid of the pesky things, the stupid feelings she didn't need. She wondered if that book she read was really helpful, if removing all these feelings would cost something. This wasn't really magic, was it? She knew that the heart held magic, even for the most dull beings. The heart was a powerful source, and that was why it was commonly used for black magic.

These feelings would grow back eventually, just like they did before. She could keep some of them. This wasn't a big deal.

A sharp stick poked her in the side, quite roughly. She jumped up abruptly, like the log she was sitting on had been set on fire. She glowered at the dirty brown haired lost boy that leered at her. He glanced at what looked like a buddy of his and traded out his wooden play sword for a real, shiny metal one. She hid her slight intimidation quite well, putting on a piercingly cold glare.

She dodged his side slash, though it skimmed her. She looked shocked. Angry, but shocked, her eyes wide and her mouth popped open. She breathed thickly as the adrenaline kicked in and a sword appeared in her hand.

She didn't have time to notice the impressed and astonished faces of the lost boys as the sword materialized in her fist.

He was quite entertained by her face, and hardly noticed the sword in her hand. He learned of it as it nearly cut his face.

Their swords collided together with a clang, charging at each other with force and making the bystanders shy away from the scene. She blocked his attempt to slash at her neck, and threw down on her return enough to make him fall back, but regrettably, not enough for him to drop his weapon.

He came back quickly, the sharp point of his blade driving right for her stomach. She kicked his upper thigh just in time for him to falter and her to push away his sword from it's dangerous position. He swore at the impact of it all, losing his grip but again, not dropping his blade. Clearly, this fight would be exhausting, and she was already starting to feel it in her arms.

She felt her shoulders sag, but willed them to stay up. Judging by his villainous eyes, he was not quitting, and she still had a long way to go.

She stepped forward, just in time for him to slash down her chest.

She heard the sound of her shirt ripping, and knew he could see the fear in her eyes. Had the blade gone any deeper, she'd be bleeding out. Lucky for her, it was not deep enough to kill her.

Still, her shirt was torn, revealing a white bra to all the bystanders.

The boy stood for a minute, appreciating the view.

Terra could tell that there was only one way to win this fight now, and she'd have to do something she never wanted to do. But this boy was equally as skilled, and letting the other boys know that it was possible to beat her meant that there was bound to be more trouble.

With a tremor in her body, she tore the fabric off and threw it.

His momentary pause made her thankful. Her arms were tired. Her legs felt like jelly from the stares she could _feel _the boys giving her, those lusty, unclean eyes _staring _at her form.

She felt naked, but she would have to be strong.

She hastily sauntered to him. She knocked his long sword from his unsuspecting hand, and kicked him to the ground. He shouted in protest, yelling a profanity as he hit the dirt.

Before he could move for his sword again, she stepped on his arm and put her knee on his chest. She leaned down to glare right in his eyes.

He chuckled right in her face.

"I guess I _can _ see why Pan likes you so much." He said suggestively, his eyes shifting from her chest back to her face.

She clenched her jaw tight, the urge to beat the living shit out of this kid bubbling up so fast.

"Can't wait to take your clothes off for everyone, huh _lost girl?" _He said with a sneer.

She was _livid. _Her eyes filled with angry tears and embarrassment as the other boys howled with laughter and agreement.

"Why don't you take off your pants next?" One of the older ones chimed in.

"No no, the bra!" Another countered.

She couldn't stop her fists from balling when she looked back down to see the boy's face in a long, wicked grin. With white knuckles, her fist came crashing down to the boy's cheek bone. Still feeling no satisfaction, she went for his nose.

She was running on pure adrenaline, fury.

Her fists pounded at him relentlessly, his eyes beginning to swell from her attack.

She was breathing quickly, shouting and growling at the boy.

A hand pulled at her arm, and she tried so hard to kick it away.

But the pair of hands pulled her away from the boy, her feet dragging as she screamed in protest.

"Be quiet now." The familiar voice commanded, she recognized it as Felix.

"NO!" She shrieked, trying to kick him away, "GET OFF OF ME!"

"_Chimera." _Felix urged, tugging on her arm.

She began to pull away, to go back for the boy, but a new voice cut her off.

"Who started this?" Pan demanded demonically, making her freeze.

The boy sat up, his face beaten and fearful.

Lost boys shuffled their feet, looking at the ground and _waiting. _

"Talk!" He barked, eyeing the surroundings, the two swords on the ground… Terra's torn up shirt.

The boy wiped away a trail of blood from his nose, just in time for Pan to rip him up by his shirt.

"Pan!" Terra called, getting to her feet much to Felix's dismay. He grabbed a hold of her wrist to ensure that she wouldn't do anything stupid.

Pan was fiendish, glaring at the boy with hard and unforgiving eyes.

The boy's face was puffy and swollen, and he could not be brave against Pan. Instead, he turned away with tears in his eyes.

Terra fought against Felix's grip. "Pan, he's had enough."

"Don't tell me how to manage _my _lost boys!" He snarled at her.

He could already imagine the scenarios, exactly how it went. He could already _see _their eyes on her, her face as they cut her up after he'd healed her.

"I can handle myself!" She snarled back, wrenching her arm free. She strode toward him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I hurt him more than he hurt me!"

"I gave them an order, he didn't listen! He has to learn!" Pan argued, wrapping his hands around the boy's throat.

Terra moved her grip to his forearm, staring at the side of his face. "He did learn, don't you see his face?" She said convincingly, tightening her fingers around his arm.

"Oh I don't think a couple hits to the face is enough." He breathed venomously.

"You don't even know what happened." She said as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't need to, he injured what's _mine._" Pan countered, momentarily meeting her eyes before leering at the boy again, squeezing his neck harder.

"I'm not that fragile! I injured him back! If you hurt him then it won't be fair, and cheaters never win!" She yelled at him frantically, watching the boy's lungs struggle for air more and more.

Sensing his hesitation, she continued, the adrenaline wearing off.

"Please Peter," She mumbled, "I just want the fighting to _end. _It's still morning. I'm tired, my arms hurt, and I don't want to do this anymore. Can't we just settle down for today?"

He battled with himself, the very same battle he'd fought for centuries. Love, or power.

He couldn't let this boy live, not after the trouble he caused.

But he thought of the consequences. God forbid, he finally thought of the _consequences. _He looked over to her panicked face, her eyes wide, exhausted and full of unshed tears. He was hurting her. If this boy died today, then she would never sleep with him again. She would never let him love her the way he did before if he choked the life out of this stupid, bratty lost boy. He wouldn't get to hold her, or have her tell him about her feelings. They wouldn't have their teasing exchanges and worst of all, she'd most likely go back to that _horrendous _empty body that no longer cared about the things they lost.

She relaxed significantly when he released the boy, who fell to the floor gasping for the air he'd been missing.

"Thank y-" She started, but couldn't find the ability to continue as his dark and stormy atmosphere turned to her. He threw her into his arms, as if she was weightless, before she had the chance to react.

"Wha-?" She tried again, but his persistent lips on hers ordered silence.

He exhaled dangerously, his deep green eyes gazing into hers as he took to the sky.

She hated it when dramatic things forced them into circumstances like this. She was supposed to be angry with him, and here she was, so incredibly and irretrievably in love with him. She was star-struck and simply enchanted by what he'd done for her, yesterday and today.

Maybe he wasn't unfeeling.

Maybe they were finally getting somewhere.

* * *

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER OMFG I WAS ON EDGE WRITING THIS!**

**I hope the fighting scene was okay for everyone, I wish it was better, I'm not sure if I'm good at writing them. I swear I had a mini-panic attack!**

**PETER PAN! *swoons***

**It's breaking my heart because I know everything that happens from this point. **

**So what'd you guys think?**

**Review?**


	20. Chapter 20: With an Unexpected Bonus

_**A/N: Heyy guys! Sorry for the slow update, I realize you must hate me after the cliffy last time! But hey, this chapter has plenty of PanxTerra in it! But don't get your hopes up yet. Maybe Pan did these things right, but he still lied, and he still has her family, and maybe (as usual) she's temporarily forgotten about that, but knowing Terra she'll probably remember it again sooner or later. **_

_**Thanks for the reviews and follows and such! You guys are great!**_

* * *

**Chapter 20: With an Unexpected Bonus**

_The streets were dark, resigned for the nocturnal beings at this time of the night. Or rather, very early morning. It was approximately one and a half hours past midnight, and a rather irked Terra Diggs yanked her uncomfortable corset up. A red wine skirting fell from her mars black corset, an outfit suiting this pitch black night lit only by the dull yellow lanterns on the sides of the road. Her boots were, as usual, quite lacking in the feminine department, and they clunked against the cobblestone as she walked hastily._

_She was fast approaching her destination, but paused briefly when she was close to the door. She shut her eyes so that she wouldn't cry. She breathed deeply, needing the fresh air before she walked into the musky pub. It usually took a tremendous amount of effort to step foot in that dirty old place, no matter how many times she had before in the past two weeks. She already knew what this night would bring, how much she would be demeaned and her pride destroyed. _

_But things were different now, and she didn't have much of a choice. Now that Queen Regina ruled, it was harder to sell things, to invent things, to steal, and taxes went up. So did prices. Desperate times called for desperate measures. _

_She exhaled, squaring up her shoulders as if preparing for a battle. She hiked her skirt up higher, and gripped the bronze handle of the door. She pulled open the light brown wooden door, which creaked and groaned in a twisted welcome. The sound was like some kind of funeral tune to bid her a fine evening. It alerted several familiar faces at the bar of her presence. Their heads shot up, expecting her at this time. _

"_Terra!" A boisterous nobleman bellowed._

"_Mistress Diggs!" Another followed._

_She caught an especially generous donor, Sir Richards, who usually wouldn't be caught dead in this kind of place, especially with his pestering wife at home. She wondered if his wife even knew he was out right now. She assumed not, since he was clearly here for her. But anyway, it was as he usually said. It was hard to resist such a pretty face like Terra's._

_Shouts of greeting were spread, all directed at her, whom they'd come to know these dark days fairly well. She may have felt admired, bashful even, with her growing popularity among the pub-goers, but their lusty eyes tracing her figure made her sick to her stomach instead. _

_She swallowed down bile and stepped towards the group of men with a big, fake grin plastered on her face. It wasn't like they could tell she hated them all, especially not with a smile like that._

_The pushed and shoved amongst each other for their turn to wrap their thick muscular arms around her thin frame. She nearly vomited when a few got too friendly, particularly below the waist._

_But she needed this money, or she'd lose her house, the few pieces she had left of a family._

_So instead of screaming 'no' and giving them a good hit to the jugular, like her instincts begged, she politely pushed away and made a flirty joke. They responded with hearty laughs. _

_Judging by the smell on their breaths, they were mostly drunk at this point already, and it'd be easier to get money from them. _

"_Wench!" Mr. Berly yelled, "A round for these gents and the pretty lady!" _

_Terra scowled playfully. "Now Mr. Berly, you know that's not how I work."_

"_Right, right," he muttered under his breath, slipping her money she was sure he'd brought for her. "Always with the demands, eh Mistress Diggs?" _

_And thank god for her acting, she managed to giggle. "Sorry, but you know how things are these days." She wrestled down the desire to slap away his hand snaking around her waist. _

"_If you keep this up," Sir Richards began, handing her a pouch of coins, "You'll steal all my money."_

_She smiled bittersweetly, because if only she was able to do such things. She was quite sure Sir Richards had more than enough money to donate. _

"_I'd never!" She gasped, flirtatiously smacking him on the arm, "Not when you've got such a lovely wife at home to take care of!"_

_And despite her prayers that he wouldn't, that he'd remember his lovely wife, he pulled her into his lap with a throaty chuckle. "My wife doesn't have to know." He whispered wetly into her ear. _

_She shuddered, and as she usually did, politely pulled away, adding a giggle a flirt. _

_She hated these nights._

_She hated how she knew she could never get rid of the feeling of his lips on her ear, the smell of his breath, so thick with alcohol, out of her nose. _

_And she knew, that this would probably not be the last time she'd have to cater to such beasts to get by. _

* * *

She clung to his tunic as he flew her to wherever it was they were going. She wasn't sure if he was going to be angry, or if he'd surprise her yet again. Still, she was a bit shocked that he hadn't killed that boy. He could remember the look in his eyes, so murderous, she knew it well, and she was quite sure he was irretrievable, but he held up a conversation about it. He resisted. He was… Somewhat manageable.

She wasn't sure how to act around this Peter Pan. This was new territory, and she didn't like things she didn't know.

They landed near the cliff, where her cage was. He gently placed her onto her feet, waiting patiently for just a moment while she adapted to the new surroundings. He was hoping for her to see what he'd done for her. He wanted to surprise her more.

That was also something she wasn't used to. Pan being patient. He was showing her quite the different side of him, and she wondered if it had something to do with whatever happened last night. Perhaps he was trying to redeem himself for the pain he'd caused her, for lying the way he did just to get her into bed.

But then something extraordinary happened.

She stopped thinking, and started looking.

And low and behold, in front of her eyes, where her cage used to be, was a small hut. She struggled with the desire to cry, to take him into her arms. He'd built her a hut, a home on the island. He was sorry, but more than that, he was trying to tell her that he didn't see her as a prisoner. She wasn't Wendy, or the Lost Boys, she was _more. _He cared for her, more than he did for a prisoner, and he respected her.

"Are we just going to stand here staring at it, or go inside?" He inquired, a bit smug.

She nodded, knowing the answer but not finding the right words. She wanted to scream 'thank you's at him and kiss him hard, but her better judgment just told her to nod. Nodding was simple, perhaps the only simple thing so far today.

He took her hand and pulled her through the door, pushing on her shoulders to sit her down on the bed. _Her _bed. Her very own bed.

He rummaged through a drawer, yanking out a deep red, velvety long-sleeved shirt. He threw it at her face.

"Don't put it on yet. We've got to do something about those nasty injuries." He ordered.

She nodded, internally scolding herself for her lack of words. But she couldn't help it. The way he was acting was.. Unfamiliar, to say the least.

He kneeled in front of her, looking gentlemanly and kind, staring into her eyes intensely. She hesitated a moment before deciding to lean towards him, putting her forehead on his and feeling his warmth. She closed her eyes and just breathed, because she felt safe with him, as she usually did. He tucked the hair in her eyes behind her ear with care, keeping his hand there for a second to stroke the side of her face.

He gently dragged his fingers down her arm, and the ticklish yet tender feeling made her eyes open in curiousity. She blushed deeply as he placed hot kisses on the bruises there. She wondered if they were from the terrors the nightmares in the cage brought.

He continued to kiss up her arm, carefully rubbing his fingers against the cut on her upper arm. She shivered with the feel of him on her skin, and the sense of her injuries dissolving away under his touch.

He traced his lips across her collarbone, wrapping his arms around her waist in the process. He caressed the spot where the stick had poked her, and the forming bruise was gone.

He continued his work, all the way down her other arm, and luckily for her he did not see the bruises on her legs. And hopefully, he wouldn't.

He inspected the wound across her chest. Her bra was holding on just barely, with the cut falling from just above her breast to below her belly button. It only got deeper as it went on, and she feared that if he didn't act soon, it would start to hurt more unbearably.

He ran his fingers along the gash, closing it as he went along. He nuzzled his face against her chest as he reached the end of it.

He exhaled in relief, and the sound brought a thousand butterflies to her stomach.

He stayed there for some time, just breathing her in with his arms tight around her waist.

She stared down at him, her hands frozen at her sides as she tried to understand this new Peter Pan that she was seeing. She was confused, simple incomprehension knit in her brows as she tried to grasp the situation properly. What were his motives? Was he just playing her again?

"Are you trying to burn a hole in my head?" He teased, looking up at her with a familiar smugness in his deep green eyes.

She wasn't amused. "I'm sorry, but I feel just a little bit weird. You didn't kill that boy. You built me a hut. You're being… Adorable..." She grumbled, breaking off into incoherency.

"Aren't I always adorable?" He smirked, his eyebrows raising as he spoke.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Peter Pan?" She questioned, eyeing him skeptically.

"You assume something is wrong because I'm being nice to you?" He inquired.

He sighed and got up to sit next to her on the bed.

"Yes." She deadpanned.

He chuckled, and she swore her heart beat out of her chest. "Nothing is wrong, Terra," He assured, "I felt like being generous.I realized you can't feel at home if you don't have a home. So, I made you one."

She quirked a brow at his sweet words.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Terra," He began sincerely, and she couldn't detect any falsehood. "I only wanted us to be together again, and perhaps my means of doing so were… Less than proper."  
She tried to stay mad, she really did, but she couldn't help the softening in her features. "You didn't have to bed me to get closer to me."

"That was an unpredicted plus." He replied with a suggestive grin.

She rolled her eyes. "You should've just said so. You should've just done what you did for me today. All I ever expect from anyone is honesty."

"Well it's harder than it looks." He responded with a small snort. "I've created a system, and I'm having a difficult time breaking it."

It was quiet for a bit, their eyes gentle as they mingled with each other. This time, there was no hesitation when she laid her head down on his shoulder, like they'd been doing it for years.

_Maybe this was what love was._

Waves of warmth flooded her entire body, and the thoughts created a tingle deep in her belly. They were finally getting somewhere, _together. _And it only took a few years.

He wrapped his hand around hers, caressing her index finger with his thumb sweetly. She wondered if her parents had moments like this. She wondered if this was the love that old couples talked about, the kind that lasted forever. She hoped that it was, because the thought of them never having another time like this made Neverland all the more unbearable. Truthfully, she lived for moments like this with him.

Just when she wanted to start kissing the hell out of him, he decided to start asking questions.

_Oh, here we go, _She thought dreadfully.

"Why didn't you call for me?" He said with a clenched jaw.

_I guess the pleasantries are gone then, _she thought with an internal disappointed sigh.

She fidgeted a moment. "Like I said, I can handle myself." She paused, contemplating her next words carefully. "And besides, there wasn't much time. And I was still upset with you. Rightfully so, too."

He tightened his grip on her hand. "So there was time to mangle the boy's face, but no time to call for me?"

"By that point, I was too angry. And I'm not going to have the Lost Boys thinking that I'm completely dependant on you." She countered. She wasn't helpless. She was a capable young woman.

"They'll think what I tell them to think." He responded in a low voice.

"You can't be sure of that."

"Sure I can."

A beat of silence passed between the two. He was stubborn, she knew that, and she wasn't sure there was a way to win this fight without ruining the moment.

"Why didn't you already know it was happening?" She asked quietly. It was a fair question, after all, he knew most things that happened on his island.

"I was sleeping." He lied. He really just wanted to hear her call. He wanted her to ask for him. He spent painful minute after painful minute waiting for a call that never came, because every minute was just as terrifying for him, especially when he knew she was hurting.

"Then how did you find out? How did you know to come for me?" She insisted.

"You're lucky Felix came for me." He replied, and that part wasn't completely a lie. Felix had come to get him, to ask him for help, but Pan was already on his way when they crossed paths.

"Speaking of my trusted lost boy," He began, "Why didn't you ask _him _for assistance?"

She pursed her lips. She felt like they were going in circles at this point. "Because like I said, I can take care of myself. I didn't need or desire Felix's assistance. Am I expected to only take out the weak lost boys that are easy? Besides, it was nice to have a good opponent."

There was no hesitation in his next words, and they immediately followed hers.

"Oh I'm well aware of your skill set, _chimera, _but that fight was unnecessary and could have been easily avoided." He argued.

"I don't think it was unnecessary. Now those Lost Boys know not to come near me, or they'll end up like their friend." She said simply, though a bit proud of herself.

"I don't think you understand how these Lost Boys work." He hissed, abruptly getting to his feet. "They won't see you as a threat, they'll see you as a challenge. If you think that because you took out one of them you're free, then you're just fooling yourself. Soon they'll all want a crack at taking out the new girl, or at the very least another glimpse of her undergarments."

He stared into her eyes, waiting for that sense of reality to come crashing down on her hard and quick. She put her head down so he wouldn't get the satisfaction. His words ignited a new sense of fear in their wake. If she had trouble with that boy, how would she deal with the others? There were more, some far stronger than the last. The last thing she wanted to do was have to rely on Peter for things like that. She was not a fragile little thing just because she was female, and she could handle herself. But for how long?

"That's what I thought." He said, coming down from the anger he'd felt moments earlier.

She just sat there, the words escaping her for the third time that day. Heavens, it was still morning and she'd been at a loss for words three times.

But she found them quickly.

"Then train me."

The words tumbled out clumsily, and she was almost sure she caught a glimpse of surprise in his eyes.

She saw it fit to explain herself. "I'm a little rusty, yeah, but if you're so scared that I'll get hurt again then train me. I already know the basics. I won't need much, just a little touching up. And besides, isn't that what you do for the lost boys? Teach them to fight? So why not me?"

He looked pleased, an odd thing from him, though she'd seen it before when they used to have their arguments in the woods. It never ceased to bring a smile to her face. She didn't live to impress him, but it was still nice to see it every now and then.

"Point taken, _chimera, _but might I ask who you think is going to train you?" He inquired with a smirk.

"Why not Felix? He's great in combat." She offered excitedly.

"I thought you and Felix weren't on speaking terms." He asked, and she sensed that he already knew she intended for Felix to do it.

She looked down awkwardly. "Well… Nothing is permanent…" She muttered, playing with her fingers.

He smiled a bit, the wicked kind that meant he was getting his way.

"Well Terra, I think you're going to have to discuss this matter with Felix then. After all, it is his body."

She scowled. He planned that all along, didn't he?

"Fine." She grit out. "You never had a problem endangering his body before…" She grumbled under her breath.

"Did you say something?" He smirked.

"Nothing." She said loudly, slamming the door on her way out.

She almost feared she broke it by the fragile look the hut had to it. She started off into the forest, but her surroundings didn't quite register. It hit her that she had no idea how to get back. It wasn't often that she went back from here on her own.

She heaved a large sigh, before dramatically turning completely and stomping back to the hut.

He seemed to be expecting her re-arrival, because when she opened the door again he was staring at her.

"Forget something?" He inquired smugly.

"You know what. Now let's go."

"I'm sorry, was that a question?"

"TAKE ME BACK."

He gazed at her, amusement sparkling in his eyes like stars in the night sky. It was gorgeous, but now was not the time. Especially because that amusement meant that he was going to make her ask him.

She exhaled.

"Please?" She grunted.

"That's more like it. I knew you had it in you Terra."

She turned to meet him outside and smiled to herself, tingling with the sensations that simple conversation had brought her. They were lovely in that way, because moments were scarce in Neverland, and they often made enjoyment out of the tiniest ones. If she was with him, eternity wouldn't be so bad. If it were with him, like this, forever, she could deal with leaving that old house behind. Because after all, she had a new one now.

And she'd trade that huge, barren house for her small hut any day.

Because her hut, no matter how small, was her own, and it was filled with the things she'd dreamed of. It had her own bed, and for some reason, it felt warmer than the big one in the Enchanted Forest. And a dresser filled with clothes she'd most definitely wear often. Though it lacked those four boys that she loved, it was more than enough.

He opened the door, with that breathtaking grin on his face, and lazily walked towards her, as if purposely taking his time to tease her. She rolled her eyes, and with a short scoff, grabbed his hand to speed up the process. A blush crept up her spine when he lightly squeezed her hand, properly intertwining his fingers with hers.

Yes, the hut was her own, and it was filled with things she'd always wanted.

With an unexpected bonus, of course.

* * *

_Review? You know how much I love them:)_

_Speaking of which, sorry for the late update fellas, it's not your fault, I just had a lot of school work. I hope this chapter was satisfactory!_


	21. Chapter 21 Let's Play

**A/N: Guys, you don't even know how much effort this chapter took. I don't even know why, but I've had such an urge to write sad things. This chapter is oddly happy, considering all the terrible, awful oneshots I wrote for this pairing. I wrote this really incredibly sad oneshot about Terra and Pan, and I cried. I was listening to Davy Jones' theme song while I wrote though, so I'm not sure what I was expecting. I hope I did okay with the training scene! Terra and Felix sure have grown, eh?**

**Chapter 21: Let's Play**

A clash of wood mingled with ragged breathing in the humid morning air.

Terra Diggs could feel her hair sticking to her forehead.

She lunged for a side strike, but she was too bold to retreat.

The arrogance allowed her opponent managed to gain the upper hand.

"Wrong again, _chimera._" Felix rolled his eyes. "Try it again, and remember what I told you, the idea is to surprise your opponent, if your moves are expected then they're easily deflected."

She nodded, determination winning over the ache in her body. Hours of practice for days at a time was taking it's toll, but Felix would not allow rest, especially not with the boys on her tail.

She returned to a close guard stance _(A/N: Typical guarding sword fight stance, knees bent, sword pointed towards foe)_, momentarily loosening up the muscles in her neck. They nodded at each other, a silent conversation that meant now was the start time. He advanced with heavy force, raising his wooden training sword to crash down on her. She met it with her own, and the two collided with a bang.

They momentarily battled for the upper hand before Felix relented with a nod that meant she had done good.

They silently returned to their posts, before doing the same signature nod that meant the next trial was beginning.

She moved diagonally, backwards and to the left, a move they'd often practiced for retreat called _slope. _He of course followed, swinging at her neck only to have her duck before it could contact her. A nice touch on her part.

While he was momentarily stunned, she poked her 'blade' into his abdomen, signifying that this round was hers.

"Well done." He admitted, patting her on the shoulder.

She smiled with pride. "Was that a compliment?"

"Don't get too cocky."

"Why shouldn't I? You're teaching me well."

And it was true. Felix was teaching her better than any book ever could. She was grateful for the skills, and the practice.

"Last one before we call it a day." He said, a small smirk on his face.

"Finally." She replied in dramatic exasperation. "I'm starving."

They went back to their positions, did their usual nod, and thus the last round of the day had begun.

She moved to a short point, with the hilt of her sword at her thigh and the point directed forward. He contrasted with a long point, with the hilt at his chest.

She figured advancing while his stance had the upper hand was foolish, so instead they circled each other. He took a jab forward, to which she took a pass back (A/N: step back using your front foot).

She took the opportunity to change up her position, raising her sword in a front guard (A/N: sword is held vertically in front of your face).

She spun to the side as he lunged forward, moving to strike down on his back.

He turned just in time to stop it.

She surprised him with an empty fade (a/n: leaping backwards as if to fade but immediately leaping forward again), pointing the tip of her sword to his throat.

"Looks like you may be teaching me _too _well. I win again."

"Only because I let you."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

He smirked, reaching for his canteen, which was sitting comfortably on a nearby tree trunk. The second his fingers wrapped around it, she ripped it from his hands.

She grinned as she guzzled down the water.

He looked at her with a mix of boredom, irritation and mild excitement.

She handed it back to him as she walked past.

* * *

"Well there you two are." Peter Pan called to them as they approached the camp. "I was beginning to worry you'd killed each other."

Now, perhaps if nothing had changed, the sound of his smug voice would have annoyed her, but she wanted to trust him, even if he had failed her before. She wanted to love him, even if she'd refused to before. And now, he was finally giving her reason to.

"Oh believe me, I was tempted." Felix responded wryly.

Terra scowled and immaturely stuck her tongue out at him. "You had fun and you know it."

"So I take it training is going well then?" Peter inquired, his eyes aglow with something she couldn't quite place.

"Peachy." Felix drawled sarcastically.

"Hey!" Terra piped in, smacking his arm, "I'm the one that's sore!"

"Well you're the one asked to be trained." Peter joined.

"Oh am I being double teamed now?" She replied, putting her hands on her hips in defiance.

"Oi," A lost boy cut in, "Did you bring us food?"

"And why would we do that?" Felix answered with a snort.

"Are we expected to starve then?"

"How dramatic of you."

"That's quite enough now boys." Pan ordered, not so subtly putting an arm around Terra's waist and pulling her against him.

She didn't so much as squirm.

After the initial silence that followed the action, Felix boldly continued since the boy was yet to stand down.

"If you want food, go out and get it yourself." Felix hissed, glaring at the boy.

"Now there's an idea." Pan smirked. "In fact, since you boys are so energetic this morning, why not make it a game?"

Lost boys followed up with shouts of approval.

"How about it Terra? Up for a game?" He inquired in a low voice, his eyes glinting in anticipation. His face was close enough for her to see the way he studied her for any indication she was going to agree.

She was more than hesitant to say yes. Games with Pan were either really fun, or dangerous and slightly life threatening. Last time she'd 'played' a game with him, it was anything but fun, to say the least.

But she remembered the first game she ever played with him, here, on his island. The very first night she was there. The rare, happy memory brought a sense of longing. He was changing now, he'd proved it to her after all. In just a short two weeks, he'd shown her he could be more than someone who killed for fun. He wouldn't let anyone get hurt. Not anymore, at least.

Still, putting absolute faith in that was something she'd learned was not wise. It was going to take a lot more than a week or two of good behavior to regain that kind of element of trust.

He must've seen the skepticism in her features, because he decided to clarify the rules.

"Oh come on _chimera, _don't be a stick in the mud." He teased. "We can make it into a treasure hunt. Don't tell me you're too hungry."

"A treasure hunt?" She questioned, still a bit unconvinced.

"Of course. I'll hide the food, you find it. It's simple. Winner take all."

"And what about the losers?"

"Well I guess that's for the winner to decide."

Her eyes narrowed slightly in concentration as she stared at him hard. Perhaps he never gave much away, but that did not single out the possibility of a loophole. But it was hard to find a loophole in a game like this, especially given such little time to decide.

"Fine." She said quickly, hoping that the decision would not bring regrets.

"That's more like it." He replied with a grin that made her question her decision. He was very much excited for this game, and she wasn't sure she could trust if it was for pure reasons.

Her train of thought was interrupted by his sudden very close proximity.

His nose was a simple hair away from hers, but she was conflicted. Did it matter if the lost boys saw? They already knew.

They weren't closing their eyes, and that made her think that this was not meant to be a kiss.

It was confirmed when he spoke, his breath fanning her lips, "No peeking."

It was then that she closed her eyes, and he was gone.

* * *

She wasn't sure how they knew when to go, they just did.

She assumed it was something unspoken, something they'd learned over the course of their time there.

Perhaps, with time, she'd also learn it.

Some of the boys had branched off into groups of twos or threes, others preferred to work alone.

Felix was gone before Terra could even ask, and thus, she was left to dumbfoundedly follow whichever way the most boys took off in.

But a short while ago, they noticed her trailing, and before she could call for them to wait, they were sprinting off into an unknown area where she didn't want to risk following.

She was both thankful and disappointed in their disappearance. Thankful, because she was half-convinced they'd take it as their chance to have a fight, and disappointed because now she was left to navigate the turns of the island herself.

While she once knew the island well, she'd spent a couple years apart from it forgetting, and was at a loss. Yet, somehow, even though she'd strayed from the paths she'd walked with Felix or Peter, it was still vaguely familiar, like a favorite book you'd neglected to pick up for years. Though the pages and the words were unknown, the plot was still somewhat clear, you just had to piece it together.

She could look at a bundle of trees, and just _know _that a stream would be nearby.

She briefly wondered what would happen if she went back to the caves now, but dispelled the thought hastily. Though the cave was safe, it had served it's purpose. And what would happen to Slightly, Jack, Nibs and Curly if she so much as stepped foot into it?

She did miss the Neverbirds though, if only a little.

Perhaps she'd ask Pan later, when things were less of a trial period and they were more trusting of each other, if she could visit with them.

"You're awful at this game."

She smiled at the teasing remark. "I wouldn't be if you'd stuck around when it started."

"I'm beginning to think you need my help for everything." Felix responded, leaves crushing under his feet as he came next to her.

"Not everything." She said simply.

He gave her a look that suggested silent disagreement.

"Fine. Which way do _you _suggest I go?" She replied, placing her hands on her hips.

"Can't say. Technically, I helped hide the treasure."

"All the more reason for you to suggest a direction for me."

"That's against the rules."

"I thought Lost Boys didn't have rules."

"I thought you told me I wasn't a lost boy."

They stared at each other, seemingly at war, though both were seconds from laughing.

"But you disagreed with that."

"Did I?"

She broke.

"UGH. Please Felix? Everyone is already so ahead of me, and I really want to win."

"Strictly speaking, you could just get your own food, very easily."

"B-but that defeats the purpose of the game."

"Competitive?"

"Actually, yes."

He turned the straw in his mouth, a hum escaping his mouth as he teased her with mock consideration.

"Felix, I'm _begging_."

He simply repeated his previous actions.

"FEL-"

"I guess I could help you out, spare you the humiliation of failure." He said with a smirk.

"Thanks Goldilocks."

"Don't ever call me that again, or you'll be helping yourself." He deadpanned.

"You have a nickname for me." She countered.

"I didn't come up with that nickname, and besides, it isn't as embarrassing as 'Goldilocks'."

"Fair enough. Which direction?"

He sighed. "Head east until you reach the mountain, and that's all I'm telling you. The rest you do by yourself."

"Can't you-"

"No, you're doing this by yourself."

"But what if I-"

"It would be better to lose than to win by cheating."

She groaned in response and slouched, trudging off East.

"And I suggest you move faster than that, some of the others are getting close." He called to her retreating form, and chuckled to himself when she immediately quickened her pace.

She wasn't sure why this game meant so much to her.

Perhaps it was because it was one she'd willingly participated in for years.

Perhaps it was the thrill of the chase.

Or perhaps she was not willing to show any more weakness to the savages Peter Pan called boys, or anyone for that matter.

Terra Diggs may not be lost, but lately she certainly felt it, and her actions were starting to reflect it. Somewhere in her heart, she wondered if Pan was starting to see her as less of an individual, and more as a girl. That needed to change.

The time to show them just why they called her _chimera _was now.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the slow update! I usually don't stay up writing this late but I felt bad. Also, because it's so late, my writing may have deteriorated a bit towards the end there. I apologize for anything that was lacking. Terra… My baby :( Such bad things are going to start happening soon, and I just want her to be so happy rn. _

_Hey, I know I suck at showing appreciation lately, but you guys are literally awesome. When I started out writing this, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd get such great followers. I feel so blessed! I cannot begin to say how grateful I am for all the favorites, the followers, and the reviews. You guys are the best!_


	22. Chapter 22: Do You Love Me?

_**A/N: Wheew!  
It's been a while guys! I'm sorry.**_

_**I had a temporary stump of where to go from the last chapter.**_

_**I had the first page, but I had to go from there, and I finally got an idea, and a lot of inspiration, and here we are.**_

_**Guys, I've wrote a lot for this pairing, for Pan, but out of all the chapters so far, this is most definitely my favorite.**_

_**I love how things played out, how we see two very different sides of Pan, and lots of character development.**_

_**And finally, the answer to a question that had been a mystery for so long is finally SERIOUSLY answered.**_

_**I made sure it's in character, which was a bit of a challenge.**_

_**I know where to go from here, and fair warning, after next chapter, expect a bit of a time jump.**_

_**GUYSSS!**_

_**I WROTE SO MANY DRABBLES FOR THIS MOMENT AND IT TURNED OUT SO PERFECT, YET SO UNEXPECTED!**_

_**I just loved it so much.**_

_**I hope you do too!**_

* * *

_Chapter 22: Do You Love Me?_

Terra grumbled incoherently, her deep blue eyes squinted in frustration as they stared up the mountain. The sun blared high in the sky, hindering her vision as she searched for a clue as to where this treasure would be. It was hot on her face, furthering her growing irritability. Contemplating surrender, she pushed her hair out of her face with a huff of anger. It'd been several minutes since she last ventured around, and she was quite certain the lost boys were far ahead.

She was conflicted, wondering if Pan had been cruel enough to hide the treasure at the top of the mountain. On one hand, she was positive his impatience would get the better of him and thus, he wouldn't be able to tolerate the hours of climbing to the top she was sure it would take. But on the other, he was usually a cruel boy, the kind who took pleasure in the misery of others, which meant that, had he hid it there, there was a chance that he would in no way be bored watching all of them struggle to the top.

Dejectedly, she slumped down against a rock, feeling doubtful of Felix's directions.

_East when you reach the mountain, _he said, but east led nowhere, simply into the trees. East was very vague. The camp was south, the caves were west, and of course, the mountain was pointed north, but east had no landmark, nothing of significance. Of course, all directions eventually led to the beach, but what was special about east?

"You're never going to win like this." Pan said from the trees.

Immediately, she jumped to her feet, but not because she was threatened, more so because she felt embarrassed.

Her irritation was running high, a scarlet blush pooling in her cheeks and running across her freckled nose. She simply huffed at him, playing off her frustration as indifference.

"I've told you why there's not many lost girls, haven't I?" He teased, a smile on his face that she knew had found amusement in her poor attempt to fool him.

Still, she held her pride, crossing her arms over her chest and gazing at him in a way that said, 'humor me'.

She was half afraid to speak, worried that her voice wouldn't say what she wanted, as it often did around him. She was worried her voice would, instead of standing her ground, beg for help, or ask for directions.

So she kept silent, despite his growing smirk and mocking eyes.

"You see Terra, typically I collect boys that feel lost, it's actually become my trademark. But sometimes, sometimes I don't have to. Sometimes they come to me." He said, his figure growing closer and closer with every word, "After seven days, when nobody has claimed them, they end up here, with me."

She immediately pitied those poor boys that didn't have a choice, the ones that didn't run from home, but rather, had home run from them. Maybe she was stuck here, but Peter Pan already had incentive to keep her alive. What was keeping the others alive?

He continued to speak, despite her mind obviously elsewhere. "But you'd never catch a girl being one of those special few that come to me. Not even you came to me first without… _Persuasion_."

His lips in her ear caught her attention. "Can you guess why?"

The butterflies in her stomach made her legs wobble. "No."

He chuckled softly, "Come on, take a guess _chimera, _we can even make it a game."

She scowled, the word _game _reminding her of the issue at hand. "No more games. I've had enough games for one day."

"Well," He began, almost pridefully, "I've always figured it was because girls were much too smart to get lost like that."

She blushed. He sounded almost cute. It was a nice ideal, something she'd never expect someone like Peter Pan to think of.

"Girls, they're a lot better at keeping things, people," He said, running his fingertips down her side, "They can navigate faster."

It started small, her lips curving ever so slightly, before it grew into a full grin. She couldn't help her hand from reaching down and holding his.

"Are you trying to tell me you believe in me?" She inquired, speaking through a smile.

His fingertips danced along her knuckles. "I think you'd be better off looking rather than sitting around waiting for someone else to win."

"I wasn't sitting around," She argued, "I was thinking."

"Why?" He snorted, "You already know where the treasure is."

"If I knew where it was-"

"You can drop the act," He said, "I know Felix told you where to go."

She panicked a moment. "No he didn't."

Pan chuckled. "Do you think you can fool me?"

"No," Terra frowned, "I mean he literally gave nothing away. He told me to go east, that means nothing to me."

"Sure it does," Pan turned her to him in the blink of an eye, "You just need to use your head."

She briefly glances at his lips, "I _am._"

"Are you?" He raised an eyebrow, "You know this island, Terra."

"If I know it so well then why haven't I found this freaking treasure?" She hissed at him, gripping the clothing at his chest.

He glanced down at where her fists are bunching up his clothes and smirks. "Because you're stopping yourself. Stop questioning your every move for once and who knows, you might enjoy yourself."

She smiled, one that just barely lifted the corners of her lips. "I don't question my every move."

Pan rested his forehead on hers. "That's a discussion for another time. For now, just stop worrying about which way you go, and follow your heart. Where does your heart tell you to go?"

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. _Nothing is east._

He studied her. "I designed this game to your advantage, Terra. Stop using your head and use your heart."

He placed a warm, tender kiss on her forehead, lingering a couple seconds longer than is normal.

She felt complete in his arms, despite his usual utter lack of palpable affection, and relaxed against him. He was always keeping her on her toes, never quite sure if what he claimed he was feeling is real, because sometimes, words aren't enough, and sometimes, his actions just felt empty, like a jar filled with water; the jar seems full, it looks like it has water, but it contains no bubbles of air, no physical evidence that there is something inside of it, and it's too filled to look at the top to see an edging or a mark where the water stops. It all just looks the same, and it leaves you wondering whether or not the water you claim to see inside of the jar is just your imagination or not.

And before she could ask him if what she thought he felt is correct, he was gone, the feel of his lips on her skin still fresh in her mind.

She took a deep breath, and headed east, no more doubt in her mind about her directions, or navigation.

After all, Pan had designed the game for her, and only a fool could lose if the odds were that much in their favor.

Unless someone else had decided to cheat.

* * *

She hummed a catchy tune, effortlessly slashing through tree branches and vines that were in her path. Things appeared to be looking up; not a lost boy in sight, which meant that they had gone in the wrong direction.

She tried her best not to wonder if Pan was lying to her too, if they had all joined forces to embarrass her; to scorn her. She kept such thoughts far from her as she continued on the narrow path that she was creating as she stepped, like magic.

Perhaps it was not irregular on Neverland for such things to happen, Perhaps that was how all paths were made; by people making them. The thought was poetic, magical, and seemed entirely Neverland.

Either way, it was comforting and interesting to think about as she stepped along, her feet soft against the ground like they were walking on air. It was a nice change from her usual angry tromp.

She wondered if it would always be like this; her, Pan, games, lovely. She hoped it would, because she loathed those old feelings Pan used to evoke in her, that the lost boys would. She wanted to continue their games, because maybe then she wouldn't feel so homesick when she went to sleep at night, in a bed that was lumpy and made just for her. The two thoughts often conflicted; one being that she missed home, that she wanted to return to her own boys, the survivors, the second that she wanted to stay, to relish in the feel of Pan's arms around her late at night, and his breath on her face early morning because she always woke up before him those days.

It was confusing, loving a boy who'd caused such chaos in her life. She often had to fight herself to not wrench herself away from that same hold that made her want to stay; the one that killed those she knew and many that she didn't.

Was it justifiable to love him, even though he'd turned her life upside down, all because of a prophecy that was hardly believable?

She struggled with it, but she'd liked to believe that she was changing him; a positive influence he never had before. Maybe, if she could turn back time and bring light to his black heart, he'd even want to see his son again.

Rich, white sand touched the tips of her boots, the rest of her foot still in the dirt of the forest. Should she continue to the beach, or head back into the forest, just to be sure Pan hadn't lied to her?

She debated the two internally, pausing to look back, for perhaps, what would be the last time.

She did hate him, she did know he lied a lot, but she also wanted freedom, craved the fun and the sense of relief that it brought. It'd be harder to be free, to be relieved, if she stayed stuck on what he'd done.

And he'd done awful things.

To her, to loved ones, to others.

But he'd also healed her, and he wasn't pouncing on her survivors, in fact, it seemed like he'd forgotten about them.

She'd made him forget, just like he did her.

So, with a breath of courage, she marched onto the beach, not daring to look back once more now that she'd set her eyes on a goal.

And low and behold, she recognized the place.

It had been a place of memories,

This was where, inevitably, she'd always ended up before.

In the sand, across from a poorly constructed dock, the whole sea and sky before her eyes.

It was where the shadow had first dropped her, where she'd gone to swim to Killian's boat with Tootles, where Pan and her had shared their first conversation when she'd returned.

It was a place she didn't even realize was important until she realized it was important.

And there, hidden under the docks, the waves just slightly lapping against it, was an antique chest, lined in gold and black in color.

She felt a laugh bubble up, both from the revelation and the amount of care Pan must've taken, the thought he'd put in. And then she understood.

She wasn't cheating; Felix was supposed to tell her it was East. It was planned. Pan wanted her to find the place, not just because it held a sentimental value but to remind her that, despite her persistence, she did remember Neverland. She remembered the twists of the paths, the greens in the trees, the hues of blues and the sandy beaches. She remembered it all, she just needed reminding that she did.

She sprinted to the chest, falling to her knees in front of it with hysterical laughter.

"You got me," She whispered teary eyed, "You got me good this time."

And she could feel the smirk on his face.

* * *

Celebrations were in order that night, a large, out of control, sweltering bonfire lit, the smoke carrying straight into the sky and the flames reaching to follow it.

Looks of jealousy were directed at her, lost boys feeling their loss and the embarrassment that came with it. Winning in Neverland wasn't just a small thing; it was how you earned respect, pride. If you wanted to stay, you had to prove your worth to Pan.

"Alright," Pan silenced them, pausing appreciatively to glance in all of their eyes, "Good game, boys, but sadly, there can only be one winner."

Terra grinned proudly, because she'd already devised a plan in her head.

"Terra," Pan held her hand, "Enjoy your winnings, you've earned it."

She smirked deviously. "Actually, Pan, I'd like to share them."

The lost boys gaped at her, wondering how she'd won if she was _this _charitable. A couple lost boys was one thing, but there were forty something lost boys in total. If she were to share, they'd be hardly any left, perhaps a few crumbs.

"On one condition," She said gravely.

"There's always a catch." A lost boy muttered disapprovingly.

She glared at him. "I want an apology. From all of you. Individually, depending on your guilt. If you want a share of the treasure, you'd better be willing to say sorry for your actions, to Wendy as well."

A raven haired lost boy, whom she'd known as Ace, scoffed. "I'd rather starve than apologize to either of you."

Terra raised her chin. "Then you'll have your wish. I'm not asking for the world on a string, I'm asking for an apology for the trouble you've caused. I don't think that's unreasonable, and besides, you all need to be taken down a peg, you've been strutting around here, killing each other with your heads high for too long. You can't survive here on your own, and I think it's in all of your interests to befriend me."

A red-headed boy, Hawke, curled his lip. "Why? Because your Pan's whore?"

Terra squeezed Pan's hand when he jolted forward, an action she hoped had relayed the message that this was her fight, her battle. He was still tense as she kept her head high. "Perhaps, or maybe because I can take all of you down, and I know the island more than you do. And, I have powerful resources."

A shorter boy, Marbles, rolled his eyes. "Powerful resources? Like what? Felix?"

Felix picked Marbles up by the collar of his shirt. "You'd be surprised how powerful I can be, boy." He threatened in a low voice.

Terra stared at Felix, shaking her head at him. This was _her _win, _her _battle, and if they helped her it would only make things worse. "Put him down."

Felix raised an eyebrow before dropping the boy to the ground.

Terra narrowed her eyes at the group of boys. "No, powerful resources as in I can make things out of mid air, I can get anything I want, I know the trick. You've seen me do it. Powerful resources as in I'm on good terms with the Neverbirds, and I can navigate through the caves effortlessly, with no interference from them. Powerful resources as in, yes, Felix, and the skills he's been teaching me. The odds are in my favor, stacked against you, so you can either make amends, or make life harder for yourself. Your choice."

The boys were silent, but she took it as a sign they were complying.

She turned away from them, having to physically drag Pan with her, his magic swirling beneath his skin.

Fox stood abruptly.

Terra shot her head around to look at him, his mop of ginger hair tousled about his face.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely, meeting her eyes to ensure that he meant it, unlike the dozens of others that wouldn't.

After the initial shock, she smiled, nodding at him. "Thank you, Fox. I accept your apology."

It was only a couple seconds until Pan was pulling her away from the boys and into the trees, away from prying eyes, and into the most privacy they could get.

She already knew what he'd want to talk about.

* * *

He slammed her back against the tree, his hands trapping her wrists on either side of her head.

She glared at him, but he just glared right back. Her frightful stares may frighten off the other boys, but not Peter Pan. He was not so easily swayed.

She felt his magic surging beneath his flesh and through his veins. He was upset.

"If you wanted an apology," He said in a low voice, "You could've asked me. I could make them apologize, I could even make them grovel at your feet."

Her heavy glare softened into a scowl, not necessarily angry, just disapproving. "That wouldn't be sincere. I want them to know it was wrong, I want them to actually feel remorse.."

He pressed her harder into the wood. She winced at the rough feel of her bark against her back.

"Don't you get it?" He raised his voice, "I trained them to be that way! They'll never feel sorry, not so long as I'm around."

She attempted to move her arms, but failed. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe it's time that changed. I don't want them groveling, that won't get me respect. I have to do these things on my own!"

He nose was nearly touching hers, but he'd released his grip on her wrists. He chuckled tauntingly, it was clear to her he was making fun of her. "You'll never _get _respect. They don't respect anyone! They _fear. _Me."

She was momentarily stunned. She shook her head violently, struggling against him. "No, no, no!" She repeated, completely at a loss for words, "You know what they're saying! They're calling me your _whore_! Constantly relying on you for protection won't change that!"

His eyes darkened at the words, his entire demeanor going from angry to ominous. "No," He clenched his jaw, "No I suppose it won't. But making them choke on their own blood might."

She gaped, a sense of fear re-appearing in her own heart. _No, no, no, this wasn't supposed to happen. She was happy. He was changing. No._

"Peter…" She choked, she gently placed a hand on his face, "Y-you can't-.. That's not the way to do it."

He softened slightly, his eyes widening as if he'd lost track of himself. He turned away from her touch. "That's the way it's always been done."

She flinched, his words confirming a growing suspicion, a fear she'd never asked about, but one she'd always had. He'd been killing off lost boys for some time now; that was why they feared him as much as they did, why the older ones hardly ever spoke, why they'd hardened and grown bitter beyond their years.

He'd changed them.

It looked like she wouldn't just have to change Peter Pan; she'd have to change forty something others as well.

He began to walk back, shielding his face and once again, leaving her to wonder whether there was actual water in the jar still.

"Do you love me?" She exclaimed before she could stop herself, the question sounding more shaky and rushed than she wanted.

He paused. "Do I _what_?"

She gulped back down a lump that was growing in her throat. She was scared of the answer, of his tone, of him. She was more than scared. She was terrified, nervous and a little bit excited.

"Do you love me?" She repeated clearer, her body relaxing.

"Why," He inquired thickly, his voice low in his throat and difficult to hear, "Are you asking me this?"

"Because I never know with you," She said frantically, the words she'd been meaning to say spilling from her lips before she could stop them, "You say you do, but your words are empty, your actions seeming more robotic than sincere. I sometimes wonder if you can even still love, if you have it in you. Sometimes, if I look hard enough, I can be sure it's there, that you do feel _something_, but it's rare and it leaves me wondering if I'm being played, if you're messing with me because I'm useful, a tool in a plot that I don't even know like everyone else is to you. Is that why you keep bringing me back? Because I'm _useful _to you? Do I mean anything to you? _Am _I just your whore?"

Before she realized it, she was sobbing, her entire body shaking with the force of it all. She had finally cracked, the amount of stress he'd caused pouring over something so simple as an apology. Because that's how it usually went for things. Things built and built until the smallest of things created the final blow, and she broke down, crying and screaming the thoughts she'd been wanting to say for god knows how long.

She thought she was going to fall, but he caught her in his arms.

She gazed into his eyes, looking for a sign, and saw they were glinting, but not with his usual mischief, or amusement, but with tears. Peter Pan was showing her a piece of himself that he'd yet to show to others, and if she wasn't so terribly shocked she may have felt so terribly touched.

He grabbed her face in a swift motion and captured her lips in a searing kiss, one that had given her _something_, maybe not a lot, but _something _to go by. And it was more than enough, their lips connecting in a perfect movement that created enough fireworks to light up the entire world.

Her knees went weak, the only thing keeping her up his arms; one caressing the side of her face and soothing her, the other grasping at her waist and demanding more.

She squeezed his shoulders, her fingers snaking through his hair and her heart practically _glowing _with love, the emotions he was showing that he hadn't before.

When he began pulling away, she instinctively followed.

He stared at her with hooded eyes, his brows furrowed with an emotion she was too dazed to define.

Tears were we on her face, her lips puffy and her cheeks pink.

"Why do you think," He said, his voice displaying something she couldn't quite place, "I keep bringing you back to me?"

A new tear traced a trail down her cheek. "I don't know, because you intend to use me for something?"

Still, that mysterious emotion effecting him, his smile, he spoke again, his hands grasping the sides of her face to ensure she'd listen. "You've caused me more trouble than good," He exasperated, "You'd have to be the most useful person in the world."

She smiled sadly. "Am I?"

He clenched his jaw, as if debating something, his emotions jumbled and conflicted. He opened his eyes slowly, the emotion she couldn't see before finally becoming clear. "Only to me."

She thought her heart would burst with laughter, with relief, with love.

He placed soft kisses all over her face.

"Not a plot," He whispered, kissing the crease between her eyebrows and softening it.

"Not useful as a tool," He kissed her tears, her cheeks.

"Just mine." He nearly growled, gazing into her eyes possessively.

And finally, she could see it all.

The emotions he'd put on display, just for her.

Hurt, fear.

But most importantly,

_Love._

* * *

_So?_

_How'd it go?_

_I do good?_

_Review?_

_Any questions, concerns, criticism?_

_How was that big moment, huh? Lots of drama!_


	23. Chapter 23: Nothing Changes

Neverland stays the same.

Terra Diggs expected this for many, many years.

Growing is what she did not expect.

Part of her is frightened by this fact, so she makes sure her hair is never too long, that it is always at a certain length, because a small piece of her is still worried that he will notice that she grows and send her away. He has proved he would never kill her, but sending her away is different.

When years pass on Neverland, things never change.

Boys come and go, but she stays with her boy, cursing the damned sun and it's unmerciful heat, the sea and it's emptiness, and the forest and it's complexity.

She already knows how to navigate Neverland, she _knows _it.

Pan is more than a boy she loves, now he is inside of her, through every kiss, every word. She thinks he has done something to her, because she knows the island as he knows it. The feet that pound against the soil, the boats that surge through the seas, the hearts that are lifeless.

He tells her it's because she drank the water.

He tells her she's more than a person, she's a part of something.

He loves it.

She is unnerved by it.

Her feelings are hazy here, and difficult to be certain of, especially when he is constantly telling her what they are.

"I hate this game," She would sometimes complain to him, but he would smile knowingly, and reply with a dismissive, "No, Terra, you _love _this game."

She always trusts his judgement.

She doesn't know why, but she does. Sometimes, just to contradict this, she does as she always does, and protests. "No, it's ridiculous. This game is stupid."

But she played anyway.

She remembers the times this has happened before, the times she has had epiphanies and shocking conclusions, right after talking to him.

After he tells her what they are.

But for some reason, this does not bother her.

What bothers her is losing him, what bothers her is what he does when she isn't looking.

He convinces her he has changed, and the lost boys insist that he has, they _promise _her. But she's not stupid.

She sees Felix pull him aside every now and then, sees him talk in hushed whispers about a special someone, a new boy.

Sometimes when she asks him, when they're in bed together, he reassures her in soft kisses and cooing words.

"It's nothing," He promises, "Trust me, Terra."

"But why are you spending so much time looking for a boy?"

"Because we need him." He brushes back her hair and she is momentarily afraid he'll notice it has grown. "Just trust me."

So she trusts him.

And they play games.

And they grow close.

As he promised, she finds new lost boys to love. But the island is unkind, and she loses track of the life she lived before. She doesn't know it, but this is why she is so trustful, why she is more open than ever before.

She soon forgets to count her boys each morning, forgets their names.

But she never forgets he has them, under his thumb. She just forgets why that bothers her; wouldn't Pan take care of them?

Peter calls it the 'Lostboy Syndrome', but she doesn't know this either.

Wendy is less forgetful, so Terra envies her. But then again, Wendy did not drink the water. Wendy did not spend her nights in the company of a silver tongued demon boy, does not sleep in his arms and wakes up with the sun.

Wendy cannot, will not, love him the way Terra does.

Because she loves him. She is certain of this fact.

And he loves her too. She trusts that he does.

Felix still hunts with her, every morning, before the lost boys have even woken up. But they both know it's only to spend time with each other, because now they don't eat the food they catch.

They just do it for fun.

This used to bother her, but after a year or so, it stopped, just like it never bothered Felix. Neverland hardens people, but she didn't know this as good as she should have.

After years and years of playing Pan's games, she forgot why she never played them before. She forgot to mark the days she spent there, because spending her days on the island was no longer a chore. It was a joy.

She finally remembered how much she hated all those tedious heists, the work, the taverns. She knew that Neverland was an escape, a place to be home without the work.

Peter delighted in this.

Terra was afraid of this.

And for a long, long time, she had forgotten, as easy as forgetting a song you used to sing every day, the melody as haunting as deja vu. Remembering it was there is not the task, the words, the details, that's the hard part.

She doesn't know how long it's been. Maybe a few decades, or worse, a couple centuries. All she knows is that he sleeps with her, kisses her shoulders and her tears away when she worries about everything. All she really knows is him and Neverland now.

Peter sings her new songs. Songs of trust, of letting go, of games. She decides she likes these songs best. They're easier to follow, because it is always easier to be on Neverland, in the arms of the boy she loves.

Wendy gives her hard stares, ones that make her feel guilty for letting go. She always feels judged around Wendy, so sometimes her and Felix snap at the girl, tell her who's boss.

The stares don't stop, only worsen.

When she tells Peter about them, the stares, he becomes rigid. She sees that mocking evil that used to make her quiver in fear.

He tells her she is not afraid of it, but of what it could do to her.

She trusts him when he says he would never, ever hurt her.

When he suggests getting rid of Wendy, Terra protests fiercely, declaring that no one deserves that. She reminds him that he is too good for that now. He gives her that knowing smile, and kisses her forehead.

Instead, they decide to keep her in her cage again.

Terra agrees to this, because although she insists that Peter is better, she is not. While Pan seemed to improve, she seemed to deteriorate.

But some things stayed the same.

She made him promise not to kill anyone anymore, and he agreed to this.

But what she didn't know was that there were always loopholes, ones called Felix, or sometimes Fox.

His new game the next day was "Anything Goes", which was exactly what it sounded like. Anything went, except taking someone's life.

This made Terra happy.

That old song in the back of her mind tried reminding her why that was wrong, and she expressed this concern to him, but he promised her it was nothing if not proving that she has grown.

She trusted him.

Her and Felix went hunting the next morning.

They had daily fights, after which would be a bonfire.

Terra was reigning champion of the fights, because her right hook was strong enough to break noses, jaws, anything. After all, Pan and Felix had spent weeks training her.

But Terra liked it better when Felix trained her, because when Pan trained her, it was never _just training. _He liked kissing her against trees, and it quickly became a habit. He also liked wrapping his arms around her waist when they practiced sword fighting. He especially liked pulling her back to where they slept, for an afternoon in bed. She never complained, but it was annoying to miss a full day of training.

Felix liked to keep things strictly business, and often scowled at her for joking around. She liked to use their training time to ask him questions about what he and Pan talk about. He never answered. She liked to ask him about their latest plan, but he would get especially quiet after that.

There were many things that Terra had grown to love about Neverland, but talking about them forever gets tedious. It reminds her of how bothered she is about the fact that she can recite a long list of things that she loves about Neverland, but cannot for the life of her remember a single name of the boys who shared a house with her.

Life on Neverland is breeze for a long time.

She had always wanted an easy life, one where she was free to do whatever she wanted, and Neverland gave her just that.

But Neverland was like being in coma, or having amnesia. There were things that had happened, things outside of Neverland that she'd missed. She's concerned for these things, but what is even more concerning to her is the looming threats she hasn't ever been told about.

She knows it's a threat because Pan's face goes dark and his eyes lose the boyish charm they have whenever she's around.

The next day, after she wins all the evening spars, she is exhausted.

She thinks about going to bed early, not just because Peter is giving her _looks _but because she actually wants to sleep, and Neverland always stays the same anyway. She wouldn't miss anything.

But she decides against it, because Fox is across from her and shooting her glares. The last thing she wants to do is go to sleep when an obvious sore loser is asking for a second round.

She wishes she had just gone to sleep.

* * *

_Hi._

_It's me, your least favorite author. Here's my dilemma: I really want to rewrite this whole series. A lot of things I want to change, or develop more. But I figured I should do that AFTER I finish the series. So that's something to look forward to._

_A couple things:_

_-NOTE THE TIME JUMP. IT'S CONFUSING BUT MOST OF THE STORY SO FAR HAS BEEN RECOUNTING OLD EVENTS. Now we get to newer things._

_-Expect a plot twist. Hint: it's been what we've been fearing for a while. Is Pan ever nice without a reason?_

_-I think it's pretty obvious why Terra should've gone to sleep. Goddamn it Terra._

_-Also, it was kind of rushed, which is unfortunately, my horrendous style for writing, but Neverland has changed Terra. Personality wise, she's certainly a bit darker, but you could probably tell that much._

_I have new motivation for this fic, so you'll probably see more of it now._

_I'm sorry if anything was confusing, I just REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to give those of you that are still here something to read._

_Hope you all had nice summers!_

_Any questions, comments, or criticisms, you can PM me as always. If you're nice to me, I'll even shoot you a small spoiler._


End file.
